“What I have to admit is that I can’t trust you!”
“Oh, for Christ’s sake! I made a mistake, I admit it! But—”
“It was a big damn mistake. You kept something from me that I needed to know. I walked into that restaurant and got blindsided!”
“What do Cammie and her dad matter? They’re idiots! They aren’t worth this shit.”
“You just don’t get it!”
“Then explain it to me, Cooper, because I’m missing something here.” I take a step back and bottle the frustration I’m feeling. I want her to stay. I don’t need to give her more reasons to run because I know my woman and she has that look in her eyes that tells me she’s close to running.
“My whole life, the Rivertons have done nothing but make me feel like trailer trash… the dirt under their fingernails. I thought Cammie was my best friend and I got to school one day and the shit she pulled, the things I learned… it nearly destroyed me.”
“Destroyed you? You told me you were in the fifth grade when the two of you started having problems. What in the hell could happen in the fifth grade that could destroy you? I get that I should have told you things, CC. I do. I fucked up. But don’t be melodramatic here. What’s in the past is in the past. It doesn’t have to color the people we are now. It doesn’t have to interfere with the lives we have.”
When I finish talking, CC looks white. Her whole body is tight and I can see small tremors in her hands as she holds her arms close at her chest. I feel like the biggest bastard in the world.
“You have no idea,” she whispers, sadly.
She’s right. Before I fuck up everything else, I drop down on my knees in front of her. I brace my hands on her hips and I look up at her.
“You’re right, sweetheart, I don’t. But I’m asking you not to write me off. I fucked up. I keep fucking up, but I need you to give me another chance.”
“Gray…”
“Please, CC. I won’t make you regret it.”
I stay there on my knees hoping she softens. If she doesn’t, I can see myself following her back and telling the tours to fuck off. That’s how far gone I truly am—and I don’t even care. In fact, I’m embracing it. CC is it for me. I just have to get her to believe in that.
He has no idea how bad he hurt me. He doesn’t truly know the history between me and the Rivertons, so on one hand, I can’t truly be upset with him. In his mind, he thinks it’s a simple case of spoiled rich kid versus blue collar bitch. On the other hand, he purposely set tonight up and, after two disaster dinners where the Rivertons were involved, he should have been completely up front. I can’t help feeling betrayed.
“Stay with me, Cooper,” he urges again.
I need to make a choice. Am I dreaming to think that Gray and I could work out? To look at us and the lives we’ve led, you would think we’re completely different. But spending time with him, especially when it’s just the two of us, it doesn’t feel like we’re that different. When I look at his crazy family, I kind of feel like I fit in. They like me. Even Maggie has taken to calling me here and there to talk. I like her. She’s crazy and sweet—a lot like her mom, though maybe dialed down a notch on the crazy.
“I’m not a drama person, Gray. I had enough of that when my mom was around and then when she left. Banger did more than just take me in; he gave me peace and a home.”
“I promise, CC. I’ll tell you everything from now on. No more secrets.” His words make my stomach tighten in nervousness. Some secrets should never come out. It’s the moment of truth. Do I give him the ugly truth? Or do I hold back? Sometimes, it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie.
“I’m not asking you to tell me everything about your past, Gray. I’m sure we both have things we want to forget. Don’t make it sound like that. I’m just asking that before you let me walk into a situation like that, you give me some damn warning,” I huff. I’m feeling really uncomfortable. I just want this conversation done. There’s a big part of me that wants to go back to Kentucky, back to the safety and the life I’ve built there. I’m not ready to let go of Gray, though. He’s important. I… care about him.
Gray leans in and kisses my stomach.
“Does this mean you’re going to South Carolina with me?”
“No,” I sigh, my fingers curling in his hair.
“Cooper, damn it. You can’t let what we have, all of it, just go without even giving me a chance,” he growls, getting up and turning away from me, frustration thick in his voice.
“I need to get back to Kentucky, Gray. I have a life there… a business there. I was planning on going back soon, anyway. Tonight just sped the decision up.”
“I need you with me,” he says, turning around to look at me. I immediately want to give in, but life taught me a long time ago that it’s better to live cautiously.