“I don’t remember tongue action being discussed,” I tell him with a grin, breaking away. I take the wine and flowers from him and lead him into the kitchen.
I have a small house. It was Banger’s and the only true home I’ve ever known. It’s an open concept with the living room and kitchen as one large space. It’s too small for a dining area, so there’s a breakfast bar. It’s two small bedrooms and a bath. I’m sure it is nothing like what Grayson is used to, but I don’t sense him checking it out and finding it lacking, so I relax a little.
“Tongue action was implicitly implied.”
“Say that ten times really fast.”
“Why, Cooper, are you trying to get me to show off how well my tongue works?”
“I think I can remember,” I tell him, shaking my head. “I hope burgers and fries are okay. Honestly, it was a long day at the garage and I was too beat to worry about dinner.”
“Burgers and fries are my favorite,” he says, and though he’s probably lying, I relax that much more.
“Thank you for the flowers and the wine. You didn’t have to,” I tell him, putting them in a vase and running tap water into it.
“I did it with an ulterior motive,” he says, and I jump because he’s right behind me. He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me back into him. His face slides against mine, the stubble on his face scratching softly against my neck.
“What would that be?” I ask, my voice breathless.
“You. I want you,” he says, his lips following the pulse point in my neck.
“Gray…” I protest, but even I know it sounds weak.
“God, I’ve been thinking of nothing but you for days,” he groans, his hands moving under my shirt, sliding slowly up my stomach, teasing the warm skin there until he cups my breasts. I want to give in. All week I said I was going to, but now…
“Gray, I don’t think we should do this,” I tell him, forcing myself to pull away. Once his hands leave me, I feel strangely deprived. God, I’m a bigger mess than even I knew.
“What’s going on, Cooper?”
“It’s just… I don’t think I’m ready to just jump into bed with you.”
“It doesn’t have to be a bed. The floor, the wall—hell, the kitchen counter works for me.”
“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”
“I don’t see the problem. We’ve already slept together, did you forget?”
“No. That was different.”
“I don’t see how. Besides, you can’t deny that we’ve been talking all week, and I think it was pretty clear from our conversations where this was headed. So why the sudden hot and cold, Cooper?”
His words make me feel like I’m on trial, which sucks. He wants full honesty? Fine.
“It was different before because there was nothing but one night of sex.”
“Two,” he corrects me.
“Whatever. The point was it was a space out of time where I let go of my better judgment and just took something I wanted.”
“Me.”
“Yes, you.”
“So go ahead and take me now. I’m okay with being used, buttercup.”
“That’s just it. I know you now. I know way too much about you now.”
“Wait, let me get this straight. Before, you could fuck me because you didn’t know me. Now, you can’t because we know each other?”
“It’s not that simple, Gray. I mean…”
“You realize you have this shit backwards, right? Most women insist on knowing a man before they spread their legs for him.”
Heat rises in my face and I want to slap him for trying to make me feel embarrassed over making the decision to have a one-night stand. Sanctimonious asshole.
“That’s the problem, Grayson Lucas. Entirely too many women have known you. I just don’t want to be one of the long list of numbers.”
His face goes hard and he looks at me so intently, I want to take a step back. “What the fuck was this week about if you were never planning on sleeping with me? Because I got to tell you, I’m a little over the whole come-over-and-watch-movies-and-hold-hands phase in my life.”
“Were you ever in that phase?” I ask before I can stop myself.
“Answer the question, Cooper.”
“I do want you. I just… I guess I just need time. You have a long history, Gray. I don’t think I trust that I’m not just…”
“What if you are? How will you know? Or how will I, if we don’t see what’s between us? Jesus, Cooper, you overthink shit way too much.”
“You have a sex tape on the internet, Gray,” I remind him, my stomach curling in distaste.
“Again, it was before I met you, and I knew nothing about the making of it. My lawyers had it taken down.”
“It’s still there.”
“You know the drill, Cooper. Once it’s on the internet, it’s always there. If you show me the site, I’ll report it. It’s all I can do.”
“Gray…”
“CC,” he starts, using my nickname. Strangely enough, I already miss him calling me Cooper. “I like you. I’m pretty sure you like me, but I’m not going to fight your fears every time we get together just to…”
“I’m not afraid,” I lie, because I’m kind of terrified.