‘No, I’m just not tired. I slept for ages this afternoon.’
‘Yeah, while I was off doing you a deal.’ Chrissie regarded me with her head propped up on her elbow. ‘Look, Cee, it’s my last night here and I don’t want us ta fall out. I was just gutted that you didn’t trust me to take care of that painting after all I’d said and done. And then today, I saw what kind of artist you could be, and I was so excited. But ya didn’t see any of that when you marched into the lounge demanding to know where your painting was. It just . . . shook me. I really thought you’d started to trust me. I was rapt when Mirrin loved it and I couldn’t wait ta tell you about it and go out an’ celebrate. But you came in so angry with me that the moment was ruined.’
‘I’m really sorry, Chrissie. I didn’t mean to upset you.’
‘Don’t you see? I came here to the Alice because I wanted ta be with you. I missed you when ya left Broome.’
‘Did you?’
‘Yeah. A lot,’ she added shyly.
‘And I’m really happy you came,’ I said blandly, wondering whether my mind was correctly processing what I was hearing. Or, more importantly, its undercurrent. ‘I’m really sorry again,’ I said, wanting to blank the whole thing out, because I really couldn’t deal with it right now. ‘I’m such an idiot sometimes.’
‘Look, you’ve told me about Star and the relationship you had with her, and how she let ya down.’
‘She didn’t really, she just needed to move on,’ I said loyally.
‘Whatever. I know you find it difficult to trust, especially in love when it’s . . .’ I heard Chrissie sigh heavily. ‘I suppose I just want you to know before I leave that I . . . well, I think I love you, Cee. Don’t ask me how or why, but it’s just the way it is. I know you had a boyfriend in Thailand and . . .’ I watched tears come to Chrissie’s eyes. ‘But I’m just being honest, okay?’
‘Okay, I understand,’ I said, averting my eyes. ‘You’ve been fantastic, Chrissie, and—’
‘No need ta say anything else. I understand too. At least we can be friends before we go to sleep.’
‘Yes.’
‘Night then.’ She reached to switch off the light again.
‘Night.’ I lay back down on my bed, suddenly too exhausted to move as my brain took in the implications of what Chrissie had said.
Apparently, she loved me. And even I wasn’t going to be as naive as to think she meant it just as a friend.
The question was, did I love her? I mean, only a few weeks ago, I’d been with Ace. It struck me that now Star was gone, I seemed to be forming attachments to all sorts of people, male and female . . .
21
I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. ‘Wake up, Cee, I gotta leave for the airport right now. I overslept.’
I pulled myself out of sleep immediately and sat upright.
‘You’re leaving? Now?’
‘Yeah, that’s what I just said.’
‘But . . .’ I climbed out of bed and looked for my shorts. ‘I’ll come with you.’
‘No. I’m not good at that kinda stuff.’ Then she pulled me to her and hugged me. ‘Good luck with finding out who you are,’ she said as she released me and walked towards the door. I didn’t miss the double meaning behind her words.
‘I’ll keep in touch, promise,’ I said.
‘Yeah, I’d like that. Whatever happens,’ she said, then reached out for the door handle.
The sight galvanised me into action and I walked towards her. ‘Look, I’ve really enjoyed being with you, Chrissie. These past few days have been, like, well, the best of my life really.’
‘Thanks. Sorry about last night and all. I shouldn’t have . . . well.’ She smiled bleakly. ‘I gotta go.’
Then she reached for me, her warm lips brushing against my mouth as she kissed me. We stood like that for a few seconds before she pulled away. ‘Bye, Cee.’
The door slammed behind her and I stood in a room that suddenly felt lonely and sad, as if Chrissie had taken all the warmth and love and laughter with her. I sank down onto the bed, not really equipped to know what to think or feel. I lay back, but the silence pounded in my ears. I felt just like I had when Star had left to go down to Kent to be with her new family: abandoned.
Except, I thought, I wasn’t. Even if what had just happened had been a shock, Chrissie had told me she loved me.
Now that really was a revelation. So few people in my life had said those words to me before. Was that the reason why I was feeling all gooey inside about her? Or was it . . . ? Was I . . . ?
‘Shit!’ I shook my head in complete confusion. I’d never been good at working out my emotions – I literally needed a Sherpa and a flaming torch to walk me through my psychological paces. I was just thinking about the fact that maybe I should join most of the Western world and offload everything to a professional when the phone by my bed rang.
‘Hi, Miss D’Aplièse. I’ve gotta guy down here who wants to see ya.’
‘What’s his name?’
‘A Mister Drury. He said he met you at Hermannsburg mission.’
‘Tell him I’ll be down in a tick.’ I slammed down the receiver, put on my boots and left the room.
I found the man from Hermannsburg wandering around reception, reminding me of a large wild animal who’d just been put in a small cage and didn’t like it one bit. He towered over everything, his dusty clothes and sun-worn face out of place amongst the modern plastic furniture.
‘Hi, Mr Drury. Thanks for coming,’ I said, defaulting to the politeness that Ma had always drummed into us as children and holding out my hand.
‘Hi, Celaeno. Call me Phil. Is there somewhere we can go to have a yak?’
‘I think breakfast is still probably on the go.’ I looked at the receptionist who nodded.
‘The buffet closes in twenty minutes,’ she told us, and we wandered through.
‘Here?’ I indicated a table by the window in the half-empty dining room.
‘Suits me,’ he said and sat down.
‘Want anything from the buffet?’
‘I’ll grab a coffee if there is one. You go ahead with the tucker.’
Having ordered two coffees – both strong and black – I dashed over to the food and piled up a plate with cholesterol.
‘I like a woman who enjoys her grub,’ Phil commented as I put the plate down opposite him.
‘Oh, I do,’ I said as I ate. Judging by the way he was staring at me, I reckoned I might be in need of brain food.
‘We had our meeting with the elders last night at Hermannsburg,’ he said, having downed the dainty cup of coffee in a single gulp.
‘Yeah, you mentioned you were going to,’ I said.
‘Right at the enda the meeting, I handed round your photograph.’
‘Did anyone recognise the young guy in it?’
‘Yeah.’ Phil signalled for the waitress to pour him another coffee. ‘Ya could say that.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, I couldn’t understand why all of them were looking at it and pointing, then having a right old laugh.’
‘Why were they?’ I asked, anxious to cut to the chase.