‘My sister has also warned me that even though it is winter here, it will be summer there. I have a seamstress sewing me a number of muslin and cotton gowns and I suggest you source similar attire for yourself. In essence, the weather will be hot.’
‘Yes, Mrs McCrombie.’
‘I am sure you know that you are awfully pretty, my dear. I hope you won’t be one of those gels who swoons at the mere glance of a man.’
‘I have never thought of myself as such,’ said Kitty, seeing her freckled complexion in her mind’s eye, ‘but I assure you that I will not. After all, my father is a minister in the Church and I have been taught modesty.’
‘Your father tells me that you can sew and mend? And know how to pin up hair?’
‘I fashion my mother’s and my sisters’,’ Kitty lied, thinking she might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb. She was going to Australia, and that was that.
‘Do you get sick often?’ Mrs McCrombie raised her eyeglass to study Kitty more closely.
‘My mother tells me I survived diphtheria and measles, and I rarely get a cold.’
‘I hardly think that that will be our greatest concern in Australia, although of course I will pack some camphor oil for my chest. Well now, there is little more to discuss. We shall meet again on the thirteenth of November.’ Mrs McCrombie rose and offered her hand. ‘Good day to you, Miss McBride. We shall cross the oceans together with a sense of adventure.’
‘We will. Goodbye, Mrs McCrombie.’
*
Kitty spent the following two weeks preparing the small trunk that had been bought for her by her father. The fact she was following in Darwin’s footsteps so soon after reading his books seemed positively surreal. Perhaps she should be frightened: after all, she had read enough in his books to know that the natives in Australia were extremely hostile towards the white man and cannibalism had even been rumoured. She doubted Mrs McCrombie would venture anywhere near where that kind of thing would happen, especially as any native who cooked her in his pot would have a decent meal for his extended family.
The house grew quiet as she worked into the night on her sewing machine, fashioning simple gowns which she hoped would be suitable in the heat. And at least the activity gave her a focus that blunted the gnawing in her stomach every time she thought about Annie and her father. She knew she had one last thing to do before she left.
*
The morning of her departure, Kitty woke before dawn and hurried out of the house before anyone saw her. Walking down the alley that led towards the docks, she tried to calm herself by taking in the sights and sounds of Leith for the last time. It was the only home she had ever known in all of her eighteen years and it would be what seemed like a lifetime before she saw it again.
She arrived at Annie’s door, drew in a deep breath and knocked cautiously. Eventually, the door was opened and Annie appeared, dressed in a threadbare smock and apron. Her eyes travelled briefly over Kitty’s face, before she silently stood aside to let her pass.
The small room within was sparsely furnished and bitterly cold. The stained horsehair mattress on the floor looked uninviting, but at least the floor was swept and the rough wooden table in the centre of the room looked well scrubbed.
‘I . . . came to see how you were,’ Kitty began tentatively.
Annie nodded. ‘Aye, I’m well. And so’s the bairn.’
Kitty forced her eyes down to look at the neat bump that contained what was soon to be her half-brother or sister.
‘I promise you, I’m nae a sinner,’ Annie said hoarsely. Kitty looked up to see tears in her eyes. ‘I only . . . I was only with the reverend twice. I trusted in God’s love, in your father’s love, that he . . . Ralph would guide me. I . . .’ She broke her gaze from Kitty’s and went to a dresser in the corner, searching for something in a drawer.
She returned with a pair of reading glasses, which Kitty recognised immediately. They were identical to those her father wore to write his sermons.
‘Ralph left them here last time he came tae see me. I promised him I’d keep what happened tae m’self. And I made a promise tae God an’ all. Ye give him these back. I want nothing of his under my roof any longer.’
Kitty took the glasses from Annie, wondering if she might be sick all over the floor. Then she reached into her skirts and drew out a small drawstring pouch.
‘I have something for you too.’ Kitty handed the pouch to Annie.
Annie opened it, looked inside and gasped. ‘Miss, I cannae take this from you, I cannae.’
‘You can,’ Kitty insisted. For the past two weeks, she had secreted away coins from the parish donations, and last night had taken a bundle of notes from the tin her father kept locked in a drawer. It was an amount large enough to provide future sustenance for Annie and the baby, at least until she could work again. By the time Ralph discovered it was missing, Kitty would be on her way to the other side of the world.
‘Then thank you.’ Annie pulled out the other item in the bag – a small silver cross on a chain. She ran her fingers over it uncertainly.
‘It was given to me at my christening by my grandparents,’ Kitty explained. ‘I want you to keep it for the . . . the child.’
‘It’s kind of ye, Miss McBride. Very kind. Thank you.’ Annie’s eyes glistened with unshed tears.
‘I’m leaving for Australia today . . . I’ll be gone for some months, but when I return, may I come again to see how you’re getting on?’
‘Of course, miss.’
‘In the meantime, I’d like you to have the address of where I’ll be staying. In case of an emergency,’ Kitty added, holding out an envelope and then feeling foolish – she had no idea if the woman could even read or write, let alone whether she would know how to post a letter to another country. But Annie merely nodded and took it.
‘We’ll never forget your kindness,’ she said as Kitty moved towards the door. ‘G’bye miss. And may the Lord keep ye safe on your travels.’
Kitty left the dwelling, then walked towards the docks and stood on the edge beside the sea wall, watching the seagulls hover over the mast of a ship chugging into port. She took the reading glasses from her skirt pocket, then threw them as far as she could into the grey water below her.
‘Even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light,’ she muttered. ‘God help my father, and my poor, deluded mother.’
*
‘All ready?’ Adele appeared at Kitty’s bedroom door.
‘Yes, Mother,’ she replied as she snapped the locks down on her trunk and reached for her bonnet.
‘I will miss you desperately, dearest Kitty.’ Adele came towards her and enveloped her in a hug.
‘And I you, Mother, especially as the baby will be born without its big sister being present. Please take care of yourself while I am not here to make sure you do.’