Ralph had cleared his throat. ‘Ma told me about you. She always said how kind you’d been to her when she was . . . encumbered with me. When I told her I was coming to seek out a new life here in Australia, she gave me your address. She’d kept it for all these years, you see. I never thought that you would still be here, but . . . you are.’
Then he’d taken out the silver cross Kitty had handed all those years ago to Annie. She had stared at it, remembering her white-hot anger at her father’s duplicity.
They’d talked then, and Ralph had told her how he’d been a junior accountant at a shipyard in Leith. Then she’d invited him to stay for dinner as he recounted how difficult things had become since the war had ended. She’d heard how hard his wife had taken it when he’d had to tell her he’d been laid off due to the order books being empty.
‘It was Ruth, my wife, who encouraged me to come over here and see for myself what Australia could offer a man like me.’
Kitty had asked a question she had been holding back since the beginning of the evening.
‘Did you ever speak to my . . . our father?’
‘I didn’t know he was my father until Ma, God bless her soul, died. I’d seen the Reverend McBride when Ma took me to church, where we’d sit in the back pew. Now I understand why she was always so very angry after the service. She’d been using me to remind him of the sin he’d committed.’ He’d glanced up apologetically at Kitty, but she had only nodded grimly.
‘When I was thirteen,’ he’d continued, ‘I was sent on a scholarship to Fettes College. It was the best chance I got to improve my circumstances and make a life for myself. I didn’t know until much later, that he – my father – had arranged it for me. Despite everything, I’m grateful to him for that.’
By the end of the evening, she had offered him a job as accountant to the Mercer companies. Six months later, his wife, Ruth, had sailed over to join him.
*
Kitty moved away from the view of the grey waves beyond the private deck area outside the picture window, pondering on the fact that Ralph’s arrival in Adelaide had undoubtedly saved her. After the unbearable loss of Charlie, Kitty had found herself stirred to focus her energy on this young man – her half-brother and over eighteen years her junior – who had appeared so unexpectedly in her life.
And over the past few years, Ralph had proved himself bright, eager to learn and had subsequently become her right-hand man. Even though the pearling business in Broome had never recovered after the war, just as Charlie had foreseen, the profits of the opal mine and the vineyard were growing by the day. Between the two of them – brother and sister – the Mercer finances were slowly being restored again. The only sadness was that Ruth, after years of trying, had recently been told she would never have children. Ralph had written to Kitty in Scotland to tell her that they had bought a puppy, which was currently soaking up Ruth’s thwarted maternal urges.
Due to the excellent capabilities of her half-brother, Kitty was sailing back to Australia for the final time. Unbeknown to Ralph, she would be handing over the business in its entirety to him on her return, knowing that the company’s future was in safe hands.
She had returned to Leith six months ago for her father’s memorial service. He had died of old age, nothing more; she and Ralph had greeted the news with an uneasy mixture of sadness and guilty relief. During her time staying with her mother, Kitty had not mentioned a word about Ralph Mackenzie Junior to her family. She’d also travelled to Italy with her sister Miriam, to take a short cultural tour of its ancient cities, and had fallen head over heels in love with Florence. There she had purchased a small but elegant apartment, from which she could see the roof of the great Duomo. Her intention was to winter there and spend the summers with her family in Scotland.
The fact she had just reached her sixtieth birthday had provided a spur; there was little left for her in Australia other than painful memories. And, having tried for years of her life to move on from the Mercer family and the silken threads it seemed to have trapped her in for most of her adult life, she was now determined to finally do it.
Kitty walked to the wardrobe to choose what she would wear to the captain’s table this evening. When she arrived in Adelaide, she would spend the next few weeks putting her affairs in order. This included seeing a solicitor to legally register her ‘husband’ as deceased. The idea of revisiting the deceit that had been wrought by Drummond sent a chill up her spine, but it had to be done so she could at last walk away and begin again.
As she held up an evening gown to her still slim body, she pondered on whether Drummond actually was dead. Often during long, lonely nights when she had yearned for his touch, she’d imagined every creak of a door, or an animal rustling through foliage in the garden, to be the sound of his return. Yet how could she have ever expected him to come back? It had been she who had sent him away.
Perhaps, she thought, returning to her homeland would allow the steel box in which she’d placed her heart to finally be wedged back open.
*
As the voyage got underway, Kitty slipped easily into her usual on-board routine. Uninterested in socialising with her fellow first-class guests, she took bracing walks along the deck, and as they sailed south, enjoyed the warm prickle of sunshine on her skin. Sometimes at night, she’d hear the sound of music and laughter coming from the third-class deck below her, an impromptu singalong to a penny whistle or an accordion. She remembered how she had once danced jigs on the lower deck, the air thick with cigarette smoke. The camaraderie had been infectious; her friends may not have had wealth, but they had the true riches of their hopes and dreams.
Kitty had realised a long time ago that privilege had isolated her. Even though part of her longed to run downstairs and join in, she realised that now, she could never be accepted amongst them.
‘And there they all are, dreaming that one day they might be up here where I am,’ she sighed as James arrived to draw her bath.
*
‘Are you going out today when we dock at Port Said?’ asked James as he poured out her cup of English Breakfast tea.
‘I haven’t really thought about it,’ she said. ‘Are you?’
‘I am indeed! I can hardly believe we’re nearing Egypt – the land of the pharaohs. To be honest, Mrs Mercer, I’m eager to get my feet back on dry land. I’m feeling cooped up on board and my friend Stella says there’s things to see, though we must be careful not to stray too far. I’m taking some of the orphans off with me to cheer them up a bit.’
‘Orphans?’
‘Yes, I’d reckon going on a hundred of them are down in third class. They’ve been shipped out from England to find new families in Australia.’
‘I see.’ Kitty took a sip of her tea. ‘Then perhaps I will join you all.’
‘Really?’ James eyed her incredulously. ‘Some of them stink, Mrs Mercer, there’s no proper facilities for washing in their quarters.’
‘I am sure I will cope,’ she replied briskly. ‘So, I shall meet you by the bottom of the gangplank when the ship docks at ten tomorrow.’