“Sex on a public beach isn’t going to solve years of problems.”
Kim took a step back. “You’re right. I’m sorry. We probably need therapy. And lots of it. But for now”—she moved closer to him—“we need to come together. We need to go to trial and beat Lisa. Together.”
“We can’t go to trial.”
“Don’t worry about the drugs. It was one tiny indiscretion. It was ages ago. . . .”
“You didn’t act like it was a tiny indiscretion.”
Kim took a ragged breath and her eyes were liquid. “I’m sorry. I held you to an impossible standard last year. I know no one’s perfect.”
“Except you.” His tone was critical: perfect was not a compliment.
“I’m not,” she said. “I almost made a huge mistake.” She reached for his hand and held it. He knew something was coming, something big, but he waited and watched her struggle to find the words. “I almost had an affair.”
It didn’t surprise him. What surprised him was how little he cared. “Almost?”
“I couldn’t go through with it. I knew it was wrong. . . .” Her eyes welled up as she continued. “We’ve been so distant for so long, Jeff. You’re so involved in your job, and I’ve been so involved with the kids and the house. I started flirting with a guy I was working with. He’s not my type—I don’t even like him—it was just . . . a distraction. It was just attention.”
“But you didn’t go through with it.”
“No. I couldn’t.”
“Because it was wrong. . . . Not because it would hurt me, not because you loved me, but because it was wrong.”
She dropped his hand. “I learned a lot, Jeff. About making mistakes and holding people to unrealistic standards. I was too hard on you; I know that now. You’ve screwed up, I’ve screwed up. We’re imperfect human beings. But what we’ve done is nothing compared to the skeletons in Lisa’s closet.”
“Lisa’s background has nothing to do with the case against us.”
“And neither does the fact that you did LSD last year. They won’t even be able to use that in court.”
“Why not?”
She looked down at the sand. “The guy I was almost with . . . I was upset and I told him. About the LSD.” She looked up, something like dread in her eyes. “His wife is a lawyer at the firm Lisa hired. The guy . . . he must have told his wife and then she must have told Lisa’s lawyer.”
“Christ, Kim.”
“So that makes your drug use inadmissible. . . . I’ll have to confirm with Candace, but I’m pretty sure it does.” She clutched his hand desperately. Her cheeks were red and she looked really pretty. “I’m not going to roll over and let Lisa ruin us. I’m not going to let her destroy the life we’ve built over an accident that was not our fault.”
“We can’t go to trial, Kim.”
“I just told you we can! We can win!”
I went for ice cream with Lauren Ross. And then I sneaked out in the middle of the night to pick her up from a party. I sat with her, in my car, and I held her while she cried. And then she started texting me. . . . I barely answered her, but she just kept texting. And then she sent me some nude photos. . . . I didn’t look at them, I deleted them right away. I wiped my phone and blocked her number, but the kid is crazy! She’s delusional! And if they call her to the stand, I don’t know what she’ll say!
But he couldn’t tell his wife that; he couldn’t tell anyone that. It sounded so fucked-up, so perverted . . . so stupid. Instead, he said, “I gave the girls a bottle of champagne that night.”
“Why?” Kim whispered, her face registering anger, distress, fear. . . . God, if she only knew how much worse it was.
“I wanted Hannah to have a good time, for once, without all your rules and conditions. It was her sixteenth birthday for Christ’s sake. Every kid wants to have a drink on their sixteenth.”
Kim said nothing but he could see the wheels turning in her head. What did this mean for them? For Lisa’s lawsuit? For their chances at trial? She looked up at him. “I remember it now. There was a piece of the bottle near Ronni’s hand— What did you do with it?”
“I took it on a run and threw it in a trash can miles from the house.”
“You disposed of evidence.”
“It seemed prudent,” he retorted.
Kim opened her mouth to speak, then seemed to realize her righteous indignation would be way out of line. She pressed her lips together and gave a slight nod of acquiescence. Jeff decided to hammer in the last nail.
“After the accident, when I drove the other girls home . . . I told them not to tell anyone about the champagne. I told them to keep it a secret or I’d get into trouble.”
“Jesus Christ, Jeff.”
“The cops and lawyers don’t seem to know about it, so I guess they kept it quiet.”
Kim’s voice was shaking. “Did you threaten them? What did you say to them?”
“Is that really what you think of me? That I’d threaten a bunch of teenaged girls?” He turned away and started walking down the beach.
Kim trailed behind him. “They’ve been questioned under oath! They perjured themselves! They lied for you! Why?”
Because Lauren Ross is my guardian angel. Because she did whatever mean, popular girls do to sweet, less-popular girls to make sure they stay quiet.
But instead, he whirled on her. “I don’t know why. Maybe they realize that a bottle of champagne between five of them didn’t cause Ronni’s accident. Or, maybe they just don’t remember.”
“Give me a fucking break.”
“You always think the worst of me!”
A black dog, probably a Labrador-shepherd cross judging by its broad face and shaggy coat, came out of nowhere and ran toward them, barking angrily. Kim froze and instinctively stepped behind Jeff. The dog stopped, about ten feet away, but continued to bark.
“It’s okay, buddy,” Jeff said. “We won’t hurt you.”
Kim’s voice was tense and irritated. “Where is its owner?”
On cue, a sixtyish woman in a knitted sweater came into view. “She’s okay!” she called out. “All bark and no bite.” She called to the dog, “Come here, Rosie. Good girl.”
As Rosie turned back to her master, Jeff said, “Beautiful dog.”
Kim’s words overlapped his: “She should be on a leash.”
Silently, they headed back toward the trail.
kim
FORTY-SIX DAYS AFTER