The Paper Swan

“I’ll signal him down,” said Ken, when we caught up.

“Thank you,” I replied. The boats were bobbing side by side. Ken started lowering the dinghy.

“No need,” I said. I was almost afraid for Damian to see me. I didn’t know what I’d do if he took off again. “I can take it from here.” I jumped into the water.

“Well then. Don’t let us keep you!” Ken shouted after me.

I climbed up the ladder to Damian’s boat and stood on the deck in a big puddle, feeling a bit like a drowned rat.

“Don’t forget these.” Judy tossed the strawberries over. Two big bags full.

“Thanks!” I waved as Ken and Judy took off.

When I turned around, Damian was standing at the other end of the boat, looking like hell and fury, bundled up in a white cotton shirt.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m going with you.”

“I don’t want you, Skye. I thought I made that clear. Are you so ridiculously spoiled, so used to getting what you want that you can’t get that through your head?”

Oh God, this man. This fucking impossible man. I had just left everything behind—my freedom, my cushy world, my father—for this man. I had tracked him down in the middle of ocean, jumped into the sea, climbed on board, all so I could love him. If he would only just let me love him.

But no. He was doing what he always did, shutting me out before I could shut him out, because that’s what he expected from the world—hurt, betrayal, callousness. He wasn’t even going to give us a chance.

“You’re a fucking coward.” I picked up a strawberry and flung it at him. It smacked him in the face, leaving a pink stain.

I chucked another one at him. And another and another and another, until he was covered in splotches—his face, his shirt, his arms, his neck.

“I hate you!”

I did. I hated that he could just stand there, unflinching, uncaring, unyielding, and watch me fall apart.

“You hear me?” I took a handful of strawberries and smashed them into his chest. “I hate you!”

When all the strawberries were gone, I started pounding him with my fists. I wanted to pulverize every single memory I had of him. I wanted him to hurt the way I was hurting. I wanted him to sob the way I was sobbing. I wante—

Damian grabbed my hands and pinned them behind my back. His lips found mine and he latched on with a hunger that left me breathless. He was an ocean of want and need. All the raging, submerged currents that he’d kept at bay unleashed themselves on me. I tried to keep afloat, clutching at him, but I didn’t stand a chance. My hurt, my anger, my tears were tossed aside by something deeper, something vast and true and powerful and endless.

It was a kiss that had sneaked in through an open window, a kiss that lay folded in a paper giraffe, in the silences between 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, in the pits of mini mangoes and here, now, at last, it was set free. And the rightness of it, the feeling of longing and belonging, made me want to hold on to it forever. I wanted Damian to keep kissing me, keep kissing, keep kissing, until every other kiss had been erased, until this was the only kiss.

My top was soaked, my pants were soaked, my hair was soaked, but Damian’s mouth was like strawberry wildfire—hot and sweet, and completely out of control. All the intensity with which he’d pushed me away was pulling me right back, fusing my lips to his. It was almost painful when he let go.

“Don’t cry, güerita.” Damian’s thumb swiped my cheek. “Hit me, slap me, punch me, but don’t fucking cry.”

“Don’t fucking leave me then,” I said. Was he really looking at me like that? Was he really breathing so hard? “And I’m not güerita anymore.” I tugged at a strand of dark hair. “I’m not blondie anymore.”

“Oh, but you are.” Damian smiled.

I punched him because he’d seen me naked and I knew exactly what he was thinking. When he wrapped his arms around me, I hid my face in his chest and felt like I had come home.

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