“Thanks.”
Swinging her backpack over her shoulder, Carissa walks out of my office, hopefully with a new perspective in her mind. There is only so much I can do for these kids, which is scary. It’s up to them to take or not take my advice. I’m hoping I have enough impact on their lives that they make the right decisions.
Between sessions, I check my phone for messages. Nothing.
Putting my phone back into my desk, I drum my fingers for a second before checking my emails. I don’t get many emails, usually stuff from the administration about what’s going on in the school, so when I see an email from Mr. Buster I quickly open it.
The subject is volunteering and in the body of the email is a picture of Aaron and me cutting out the large Christmas tree together. We’re wearing goggles, and we’re both concentrating on the piece of wood beneath us, but what I didn’t realize at the time was how incredibly close we were. So close that his large body is almost pressed against my petite one. Maybe because it felt natural to have him near me, to have him flush against my skin. Maybe it’s because for some odd reason, I consider him the only man I’ve loved. What was that about? It was a slip-up for sure. It’s just because he’s fresh in my mind.
I stare at the picture again, thinking about being that close to him. A warm sensation floats through me from the memories flooding my mind, the memories of having Aaron’s arms wrapped around me, his mouth against mine, his body driving in and out of mine.
Hell . . .
Shaking my thoughts, I look at Mr. Buster’s comment at the bottom. “You two work well together. Glad to have you on board.”
Mr. Buster. I like the guy, but he also seems to have ulterior motives. I wonder if in his spare time he likes to play matchmaker. I’m going to have to let him know I’m in a relationship next time I see him because these little emails—if he sends them every week—are going to bother me.
And that’s not a lie.
Being so close to Aaron again, having to work with him, it’s messing with my mind. For the longest time, I thought he was the one. I thought we’d marry, have two children, and live on the hill that overlooks Binghamton. We were happy, content, ready to start our lives together, and then out of nowhere, like a freight train coming in with no brakes, he broke up with me. Just ended it. After two years, he called it quits.
I’ve never felt so much pain before in my entire life, so much heartbreak. He was my rock, my protector, my soul mate. He made me laugh, made me cry, made me feel. We fought, but we always made up. He was my partner in crime; he let me fly freely, arms spread and the wind bristling past me while he held me, grounded me when I needed it.
He was the one who encouraged me to chase my dreams, to go to graduate school, to follow the voice calling to me and when I did, when I took a chance to make something of myself, to earn a master’s degree I so desperately wanted, he broke up with me.
And his reason . . . He couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t be with me.
I asked several times if there was another woman, if I wasn’t good enough for him, and all he did was shake his head. He gave me no reason, no explanation, just a box of my things and a brief glance as he drove away.
I tried calling him. I tried visiting him. I tried everything to get him to talk to me, but he wouldn’t. He cut all ties with me. It was over. He was done.
He was done with me.
There was nothing left for me to do other than to pick up and leave, to move to the city and chase after the education I wanted. I packed my things, took my acceptance letter to Columbia, moved into cheap dorms, and tried to forget the man who crushed my heart. But damn if it didn’t hurt that entire first year, wondering what I did wrong.
But with time, memories of him faded. Soon they were replaced by a new love, a new man. A man who loves me, cares for me, and would never break my heart the way Aaron did.
Trey is safe, sweet, and caring. He’s willing to move to Binghamton . . .
He’s willing to move.
He has his career, but that won’t stop him from coming to be with me. That’s the big difference between Aaron and Trey. Trey is willing to be with me, despite the miles between us. Aaron never was, which is still a tough pill to swallow, because no matter how many times I tell myself differently, I was never good enough for him. I was never important enough. Yes, I was able to pursue my dreams, as he obviously did his. But at what cost? Could we not have done that together? He seems happy for me now, almost as if he is sorry he let me go. But surely he’s not sorry . . .
I take a long, deep breath and shut my eyes as I lean my head against the back of my chair.
He hurt me.
He broke me.
He cracked my soul.
And yet, I still want him wrapped around me.
I push my hair out of my face, warding off the emotion that’s trying to pull me down when there’s a knock on the door. I look up to find our secretary with a huge smile on her face.
“Someone’s here to see you.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me suggestively. There is only one man in Binghamton who causes that kind of reaction in a woman.
Oh shit.
Why is he here at my work? Does he even know where I work? How did he find out?
A million questions float through my mind as I motion for my visitor to come back. I quickly pull a mirror from my top desk drawer, check my teeth for lipstick, fluff my hair, and then stick the mirror away. A million butterflies float around in my stomach from the prospect of Aaron coming to visit me at work. I shouldn’t feel like this, I shouldn’t be excited to see another man, but, hell, he’s been consuming my thoughts lately, maybe a little visit won’t hurt too much, right?
I take a deep breath when I hear his footsteps near my door. Standing, I push down the skirt of my dress and put on a big smile.
When the door opens, a pair of vivid blue eyes I’ve come to love so dearly greet me.
“Trey?” I ask, surprised. He’s carrying a giant bouquet of roses in one hand and a brown bag in the other.
“Hey sweetheart.” He drops his items on my desk, steps around it, and pulls me into his chest where he wraps his arms around my waist and kisses me passionately.
All thoughts of Aaron are washed away the minute Trey’s lips meet mine. My hands run up his chest where I grip the lapels of his suit jacket and pull him closer. God, I’ve missed this man.
His tongue slips into my mouth and I open for him, clawing his jacket, never wanting this kiss to end. When he growls, every nerve in my body sparks with awareness, and I’m immediately reminded I’m in my new office, at my new job, ready to dry-hump my boyfriend.
I pull away, a little out of breath, needing some distance before I do something completely indecent.
“Fuck, I needed that.” He keeps me close despite my attempt to put some distance between us. “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”