“I didn’t think you’d want me to,” he says. “You didn’t meet me after the show. I came as I promised and I waited to see you after for as long as I could. You never came.”
“I couldn’t after everything happened with the police,” I say. “Besides, we had a curfew. People were watching. I couldn’t get out to tell you.”
“That’s all right,” he says, forgiving me instantly. “I brought you these.” He thrusts the flowers at me awkwardly. Sweet fragrance wafts over me as I take them, fingers brushing his. I put one in my hair and a second in the top button of my blouse.
“Walk with me?” Luc starts away but I stand, feet planted. Not following. He turns back. “You’re not coming?”
“Your father,” I say.
A look of realization comes over his face. “What about him?”
“He’s the mayor. Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask.
“Because it didn’t come up,” he replies uneasily.
“How could it not come up?” I ask. “You’re the mayor’s son.”
“You’re right, of course,” he admits, his voice contrite. “I should have said something, and I would have if I’d gotten the chance to meet up with you. I guess I was just hoping that it wouldn’t matter.” Or maybe because he knew it would matter a lot. “Does it?” he asks. “Matter, I mean.”
I hesitate, considering. I don’t care that his father is the mayor, not in the way that Astrid and the others do. If his father is a Nazi sympathizer, though, then what does that make Luc? He seems too nice to possibly be that way himself.
Luc is still watching me with worried eyes, seeming to care very much about my answer. “I suppose not,” I concede finally. “But it would have been better to know.” Somehow, it is the not telling that matters more. But I have my own secrets, so who am I to judge anyone on that?
“No more secrets, I promise.” I hold my breath. I can hardly promise the same. But he reaches out his hand. “Now can we walk?”
I look uneasily over my shoulder. I shouldn’t go with him, I think, hearing Astrid’s admonition that getting to know Luc could bring danger. And I want to get back to Theo quickly. “I’m hardly dressed,” I say, feeling the still-damp leotard clinging to my skin.
Luc smiles. “Then we won’t go anywhere grand.”
“All right,” I relent. Despite my reservations, I’m curious about him—and eager to escape the chaos and intensity of the circus for just a bit.
He leads me toward the edge of the woods, the same path Astrid had shown me the day I went into town. I follow him hurriedly from the circus grounds so as not to be seen. I look back over my shoulder in the direction of the train car, imagining Astrid putting Theo to sleep. I do not want to burden her and I barely had the chance to see Theo at all. “I’m afraid I only have a few minutes.”
“The others, they don’t want me around, do they?” he asks.
“It isn’t that.” The truth, that they think he somehow brought trouble with him, seems far-fetched and too hurtful to share. “They’re just a little nervous about outsiders. I suppose everyone is these days.”
“I don’t want to cause problems for you,” he says. “Perhaps I should have stayed away.”
“No,” I reply sharply. “That is, I can make my own decisions.”
“Then let’s go,” he says. We continue silently through a break in the trees that forms a small grove. Soon we reach the far side of the forest. We skirt the edge of the stream, this time headed away from the town, which looms behind us, seeming to watch with disapproving eyes. I had wanted to be alone with Luc, but now that it is just the two of us, it is awkward, almost uncomfortable.
He stops and sits on a bit of ground that juts out over the stream like a bluff, then clears some reeds and smooths a spot for me to join him. I drop to the damp ground, feeling the chill that has formed in the air now that the sun has fallen low behind the distant hills. “I brought you this.” He pulls an orange from his pocket.
I have not seen miraculous fruit like this since before the war. “Thank you,” I say graciously. How had he gotten it? Because of his father’s position as mayor—a position that hurts others. I hand back the tainted fruit. “I can’t accept it, though.”
As I hand the orange to him, I notice that his index finger is bent at a crooked angle, somehow deformed. He puts the orange back in his pocket, his face crestfallen. Then he holds out something else wrapped in brown paper. “Take this, then. I bought it with my ration cards, honestly.” I open it to reveal a piece of hard Cantal cheese between two slices of brown bread. I falter. Refusing food for myself is one thing, extra sustenance for Theo quite another. “Thank you,” I say, moved by his generosity and selflessness for me, a stranger. I rewrap the food and stick it in my pocket.
A sound interrupts us from behind, the rumble of a truck, growing louder on the road. I stand up hurriedly, not wanting to be seen. “I have to go,” I say, panicking at the questions that will arise if I am seen with Luc.
But he takes my hand, stopping me. “Come.” He leads me swiftly back into the woods, following a path that shoots off in a different direction. We slow as we reach a clearing and he looks around. “All clear,” he says.
Still my heart races and I am reminded of every reason I should stay away. “Those police who came to the show to arrest the man and the girl...they work for your father, don’t they?”
“Yes.” He lowers his head. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea that was going to happen. I’m sure it was ordered from somewhere much higher up. He must not have had a choice.”
“There is always a choice.”
He keeps his eyes low, not meeting my gaze. “If you don’t want to see me now because of everything that happened, I understand.”
“Not at all,” I reply, too quickly.
“Then come.” My fingers warm to his touch as he takes my hand once more and continues to walk.
Soon the forest ends, and across an open field, a barn appears darkly silhouetted against the dusky sky. Luc starts toward the barn.
“Luc, wait...” I say uneasily as we near the door of the barn. Going for a walk together is one thing. But going inside with him seems like something more, a step too far. “I have to get back,” I say. I imagine Astrid, knowing exactly where I am, watching the clock angrily.
“Just for a few minutes, so we are out of sight,” he cajoles.
The wood door creaks as Luc pulls it open. He steps aside, gesturing for me to enter first. Inside, the barn is empty, the air thick with the smell of rotting wood and damp hay.
“How did you find this place?” I ask.
“This is the very edge of my family’s property. Don’t worry,” he adds, seeing my alarmed expression. “No one ever comes out here anymore but me.”
He gestures upward toward the loft. “No one will find us here.”
I look up dubiously, suddenly mindful that it is just the two of us alone, far from the circus or anywhere else. “I don’t know...”