At the sea’s edge they found a restaurant that promised them steak at ten in the morning.
“Steak, rare,” she told the waiter. Relaxing back in her chair, she looked at Carl. “What?” she asked as his eyes crinkled at the corners, that small dimple playing in his cheek.
“You’ve got an appetite. Been getting some exercise?”
She picked up a bread stick and nibbled it. “It’s weird. I’ve never eaten much meat, but lately I’ve been craving it. Red meat, the bloodier the better.”
He cocked his head as he studied her. “Since when?”
“A few weeks now.” It coincided with the start of all this. While she’d never been happy, she’d been vaguely content. But recently she’d felt restless, on edge…hungry. She shrugged, took a gulp of water, then drew a pattern on the white tablecloth with her fingertip. Raising her head, she gazed out over the restless roll of the waves. “I’m not going back,” she said. “I won’t be a slave again.”
“Even if it means you die?”
She looked at him sharply. “You know that for sure?”
He gave a curt nod. “I spoke to Ash.”
Her heart stuttered and then started a slow, steady beat. “Oh.” But it was nothing she hadn’t suspected. She wouldn’t think about it now. Carl was waiting for her to speak, no doubt to break down and beg him to take her back. Not going to happen.
“Some things are worth dying for.”
Anger flashed across his face. “And there are a hell of a lot of things worth living for as well.”
She had a flashback to the feel of him inside her.
“Look,” he said, “come back, and we’ll find a way around this. There has to be a way to break the sigil.”
“You think he’ll free me, just like that?”
“Why wouldn’t he?”
She shook her head. “Because he’s not a good man, or a philanthropist, or a social worker. He’s a demon.”
…
The thing was, she’d lived with demons all her life—maybe she did know better than him. But Ash had always seemed like a reasonable guy…for a demon.
Crap. He needed to know how much to tell her. Ash had said keep the demon shit to himself until they had her back. Just in case. That was fine when the plan had been to haul her ass straight back to the Order. But everything had changed when she’d saved his life.
The waiter brought the food, and Carl sat back to watch her eat. She didn’t look up until her plate was clean. Her eyes closed as she chewed. “Oh God, that is so good,” were her only words until she put her knife and fork together. She took a sip of water and looked at him over the rim of the glass.
“You said you spoke with my lord—” she broke off and shook her head—“with Asmodai. Did you tell him you’d found me?”
He gave a curt nod.
“And did you tell him you’ll take me back?”
“Yes.”
“And do you plan to?”
“I don’t know yet. It depends.”
“Depends on what?”
He sighed and raked a hand through his hair. He didn’t know the right approach to take with her. He was great at the strong-arm stuff. He’d be brilliant if all he had to do was throw her over his shoulder and haul her back where she belonged.
But where was that?
In the Abyss with Ash? Or, God forbid, with her father?
Fuck, no. She belonged in the sunlight. With him.
And where the hell had that thought come from?
Mine.
The word whispered through his mind. Again. And it was so fucking untrue. He didn’t do the whole “mine” thing. He was too fond of his own way.
“You’re taking a long time to answer,” Shera said dragging him from his not-too-happy thoughts.
“I can’t let you die.”
She bit her lip. “And I won’t…can’t go back with you.”
Suddenly anger erupted, spilling out, and inside his wolf howled and scratched his claws down Carl’s spine. “So you’ll wander off, party for a couple of weeks, and then drop dead. Except I think it will be a little more dramatic than dropping dead. Demons seem to have a thing for spontaneous combustion. Are you ready to burn, Shera?”
The color leached from her face. “Why are you being so cruel?”
“Because this morning I fucked you, and now you expect me to sit back and watch you let yourself die. All for some fucking stupid freedom shit.”
She leaned in and glared. “It’s not stupid.”
“Freedom is just another way of saying you have nothing to lose.”
She was silent for a moment while she processed that. “Do you have nothing?”
He thought about it. What did he have? No pack, no family, a job he loved but could walk away from. He had possessions but nothing that he couldn’t bear to lose. And he liked things that way. He glanced across at Shera, as she twirled her hair around her finger, her expression serious as she waited for his answer. She was so fucking beautiful.
Mine!
Shut the fuck up! She is not fucking mine.
He took a deep breath. “Nothing I’m not willing to walk away from.”
“That’s sad.”
He didn’t bother to answer. Maybe it was sad. “Look, I’ve got an idea.”