He was silent for a long time, his face expressionless, which was good because she really didn’t need pity right now.
“I had an aneurysm the night I blacked out—a blood vessel burst in my brain. A little one that time. They did some tests and apparently there’s a bigger one in there waiting to go.”
“Can’t they do anything? Operate.”
She shook her head then wished she hadn’t. “No. It’s in a bad place. They can’t get to it.”
“How long?”
“Soon. I think.”
“Soon as in weeks, days…hours?”
“I don’t know.” She looked away over his shoulder not wanting to see his expression. “Hours, I suspect.”
Ryan shoved his chair back and got to his feet. He paced the room a couple of times then punched his fist into the wall.
Faith winced.
When he came back to her, he had his expression under control. “Sorry,” he muttered.
“Don’t be. I feel the same way. I thought I’d come to terms with it, but now it’s here.” She gave a helpless shrug. “I don’t want to die.”
“God, if only Roz was here.”
“Why?”
“She’s a healer. It’s part of what she does and there is absolutely no way to find her. Christ, why the hell couldn’t you have told me earlier?”
He sounded truly angry. “Would you have?”
“Hell no.” He took a deep breath and sank down into the chair, reached out, and took her hand. “Is there anything I can do?”
“Would you stay with me?”
He nodded. “Of course. But don’t you want Ash here? I thought you two had gotten pretty close.” He gave her a look. “You haven’t told him?”
“No. He doesn’t know.”
“And don’t you think he should.”
“We sort of had a fight. I told him I could never care for a demon.”
“And did you mean it?”
She gave a very small shake of her head. “No. But he told me he was starting to care for me, and I thought it was best. It didn’t seem fair, letting him think I was going to be there when I wasn’t. I thought this way, he’d hate me a little, and he wouldn’t be so upset when I…”
“You’re a fucking idiot.”
“I know. But I panicked. It never occurred to me that he would care.”
“No, I wouldn’t have put bets on it either. That’s why he seemed so pissed off just now?”
“I guess.”
“When he comes back, you’ll tell him?”
“Yes.” A weight dropped from her as she said the word. She didn’t want to die with Ash hating her.
“I’ll let Shera know you want to see him as soon as he shows up.”
“Let’s hope he’s quick.”
“Shit.” Ryan ran a hand through his hair, got to his feet, and pulled the rope beside the bed.
A knock sounded on the door almost immediately. Ryan crossed the room and opened it slightly, then spoke in low tones to whoever was on the other side.
He came back, sat, and took her hand again. “Do you have any family?” he asked. “Anyone I should contact?”
“No.”
“Why don’t you lie down and relax. You know, doctors have been known to be wrong before.”
“Of course they have.”
There was something else she needed to tell Ryan, in case she didn’t see Ash.
“Ryan, there’s another thing. Not about me, and I don’t know whether it’s important or even if it’s nothing more than coincidence.”
“What is it?”
“The colonel, my boss at MI13, he told me that there was someone new in charge there. Someone who was shaking the place up, demanding results. His name was Raphael.”
For a moment, Ryan frowned, and then his expression cleared. “You think he might be this angel guy Ash was talking about, the head angel?”
“I don’t know, but I have a hunch, and you always told me never to ignore my hunches. Besides, I hate coincidences.”
“Wouldn’t he be a little noticeable with the white wings and all?”
“I thought that at first, but if Ash can appear human, maybe angels can do the same.”
“I’ll mention it when we get together again.”
At the next meeting, where she would be absent. Well, she’d hardly contributed anything anyway. “Good.”
She slid down the bed and rested her head against the pillow, closed her eyes. She didn’t want to sleep. In case she never woke up. But the shadows were tugging at her mind. The headache was gone now and she could almost pretend that she was all right.
Ash’s face flashed across her mind, the last thing she saw before the darkness dragged her under.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“You wanted to see me?” Ash said not trying to keep the impatience from his voice. If this was some sort of power play, and Luc had called him here because he found it amusing to have Ash within his power, well then he was going to be pissed off.
A small smile flickered across Lucifer’s face, as if he knew exactly what Ash was thinking.
He hoped the smug bastard would get to the point soon. He wanted to get back to Faith. He wondered how she’d felt when Shera had shown her to her new room. Maybe a little time apart, and she might miss him.
Who was he kidding?
She’d never love a demon.