“How nice of you,” Rosina says, trying to act like the floor is not crumbling beneath her feet, like there is still ground for her to stand on. As Mami takes her phone out of her pocket to call Slatterly back, Rosina tries to look relaxed as she sits on a crate in the corner of the kitchen, but she can barely feel her legs.
“Hello? Mrs. Slatterly?” Mami says. “This is Maria Suarez, Rosina Suarez’s mother?”
As she watches Mami listen to whatever Slatterly’s saying, Rosina thinks she may know, just a little, what crucifixion must feel like—being tortured, unable to move, victim to the whims of whoever’s in power. With every uh-huh and yes Mami answers, her eyes fill with fire, they explode with rage and disgust, and Rosina shrinks, hardens, turns into ice.
“She wants to talk to you,” Mami says, the words barely able to make it out of her clenched jaw as she shoves the phone in her daughter’s face. Rosina stands up and lifts the phone to her ear, turns around and looks at a discolored patch on the wall, and wishes it could absorb her like so many years’ worth of grease stains.
“Hello?” Rosina says.
“Hello, Miss Suarez,” says Principal Slatterly with her fake sweetness. “How are you this afternoon?”
“Fine,” says Rosina. She can feel Mami’s eyes burning a hole into her back.
“That’s good to hear,” Slatterly says. “I’m going to be direct with you, honey. I’m worried about you. And I wouldn’t be doing my job right if I didn’t share my concerns about students with their parents.”
“What’d you tell her?”
“I’m sure she’ll tell you after we’re done talking. But I wanted to talk to you directly about certain things I chose not to tell your mother.”
Rosina waits. The silence nearly kills her. She knows Slatterly is purposely prolonging the torture, that she gets some kind of sick pleasure out of it.
“You know, Miss Suarez, I have nothing against you personally,” Slatterly says. “I appreciate your independent spirit. In some ways, I even admire it. But the truth is, I’m under a lot of pressure to bring you and your friends’ little club to an end.” She pauses. “You have no idea what kind of pressure I’m under,” she says with a strained, high-pitched voice. “No idea.” For a moment Rosina fears that Slatterly’s going to start crying. This is the voice of someone on the edge.
“I’ll admit it,” Slatterly continues. “I’m actually a little proud of you girls for how far you’ve taken this thing. But you’ve had your fun, and now I think it’s time to put it to rest. Some things are better left alone. Am I clear?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Slatterly’s heavy sigh blasts through the phone. “Miss Suarez,” she says. “I didn’t want it to come to this, but you’ve left me no choice.” She pauses, and Rosina wishes she could see Slatterly’s face right now so she could figure out what the pause is made of, if the tinge of remorse Rosina thinks she hears is real. “I’m aware that the immigration status of your grandmother is not—how should we say it—up to snuff?”
Everything in Rosina’s body stops—her heart, her lungs, the blood flowing through her veins. Every cell inside her simultaneously surrenders.
“I know you wouldn’t want to do anything that might get your family in trouble. Maybe send the health department to your uncle’s restaurant? All it would take is a call from a concerned citizen.” Her voice is suddenly robotic, soulless. It is no longer a human saying these words.
Without thinking, Rosina turns around to see her mother, still standing there, staring at Rosina with that same fire in her eyes. Two women, poised to hurt her more than any man could. Rosina turns back around to face the wall. She is trapped.
“What do you think, Miss Suarez?” Slatterly finally says. “Do you want to make trouble?”
“No,” Rosina whispers.
“You know, I could forget about all of this if you’d help me a little. If you’d tell me what you know about this Nowhere Girls group. Perhaps when and where the next meeting will be, who the leader is, what kind of plans they have in store. That information would be very helpful to me.”
“I don’t know anything,” Rosina says. “I already told you that.”
“Of course you did,” Slatterly says.
Again, the agonizing silence.
“Well, I’m sure your mother is eager to speak with you,” Slatterly finally says, way too cheerfully and way too fast, as if she is trying to end this conversation as quickly as possible, as if she is trying to convince herself it wasn’t as bad as it really was. “The good news is, if you stay out of trouble, you have nothing to worry about. But you’re on probation, Miss Suarez. One wrong step, and you’re gone. Understood?”
“Yes.”
“And of course, if you happen to remember something about your friends’ little organization, I’m all ears. If the information is useful, I’ll have no reason to pay such close attention to you anymore. All right? Wonderful. I’m glad we had this talk. Please tell your mother I say good-bye, and I hope you have a great weekend.” Then Slatterly is gone.
“Drugs?!” Mami screams as soon as Rosina faces her.
“What?”
“The principal told me you’re on drugs,” she says, grabbing the phone out of Rosina’s hand. “So that’s where you’ve been sneaking off all the time. That’s why you can’t babysit. Because you’re getting high? You’re choosing drugs over your own family? I knew you were up to something, but not that. Even I didn’t think you could sink that low.”
“I haven’t done a drug in my life!” Rosina says. “Slatterly doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”
“She said you’ve been skipping classes. She said you’ve been hanging out with bad kids at school.”
“Mami, you’ve met my friends,” Rosina says. “You know they’re not bad.”
“What I know is that girls lie,” Mami says. She steps forward, forcing Rosina up against the wall. “What I know is that you lie. You have been lying to me since the moment you could speak.”
“Mami,” Rosina cries. “I’m telling the truth. I’m not doing anything bad. I swear to God.”
Mami grabs the front of Rosina’s shirt and pulls it tight, catching Rosina’s breath in her grip. “Don’t you dare,” she growls. “Don’t you dare talk about God. Don’t you even utter His name.”
Rosina can’t speak. She can’t breathe.
“One more call from the principal and you’re gone,” Mami says, almost calmly, which is so much worse than her rage. “I’ve had enough. This family has had enough. I am done being your mother.”
When Mami lets go, Rosina stumbles against the crate and falls to the ground. Now that the noose around her neck has loosened, everything is bubbling up, all the tears she hasn’t cried, and Rosina is sobbing, she is a heap on the floor, she is reaching for her mother’s feet, crying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” but all Mami does is look at her like she’s a mangy street dog, too sick and dirty to love.
“Clean yourself up and get ready for work,” Mami says.
Rosina looks up at her, face red and blotchy and drenched with tears. “Mami,” Rosina says, forcing herself to meet her mother’s eyes. “Please. I’m sorry. I love you.”
For a split second, Rosina thinks she sees her mother soften, but just as quickly, it is gone.
“You make me sick,” Mami spits, and walks away, and Rosina couldn’t agree more.
ERIN.