*
“You guys!” Melissa yells, running up to Rosina and Grace in the hall after school. Sam Robeson follows, silky multicolored scarves trailing after her. “Stop everything you’re doing and come with us,” Melissa says.
“What’s going on?” asks Grace.
Rosina doesn’t need to know. She’ll go wherever Melissa asks her to.
“We’re going to the police station,” Melissa says. “Like, right now. Lisa and Abby are already on their way.”
“Numbers nine and ten have come forward, too,” Sam says.
“Holy shit,” Rosina says. “This is really happening.”
“Did you ever get ahold of Amber?” Melissa asks.
Grace shakes her head. “I tried. She never answered.”
“It’s okay,” Sam says. “Four girls is totally enough.”
“We have to find Erin,” Grace says.
“I already talked to her,” Sam says. “She’s not coming. She said she had something really important to do after school.”
“What’s more important than this?” Grace says.
“Probably just taking a shower and watching Star Trek,” Rosina grumbles.
“I’m ready for you two to stop being mad at each other,” Grace says.
“Let’s go,” Melissa says. “You can both ride with me.”
ERIN.
Otis Goldberg’s car is clean and tidy inside. Erin finds this acceptable, maybe even pleasing. She might be comfortable if she wasn’t so anxious.
“Take a right here,” she manages to say, though what she wants to do is open the door and jump out of the moving car.
“Okeydokey,” he says.
“What is this music?” Erin says. “And who buys CDs anymore?” She realizes the words may have sounded rude. She reminds herself to work on this. This may have been something she would have asked Rosina to help her with, but not anymore.
“In answer to your first question,” Otis says. “This is Muddy Waters, the greatest blues musician in history. In answer to your second question, I buy CDs because I can get them used cheap. All kinds of cool old music like this.”
Erin likes the straightforward and logical way he structured the answer to her questions.
“It’s the blue house on the left,” Erin says. “Also, you are an excellent driver.”
“Is that a compliment?” Otis says. “Did you just give me a compliment, Erin DeLillo?”
“I am capable of giving compliments,” Erin says. “But I do it selectively.”
“I am honored to have been selected.”
Spot is the first one to greet them when they enter the house. He licks Erin’s hand like he usually does, then he circles around Otis, sniffing. When he’s made it all the way around, he licks Otis’s hand too.
“Spot approves of you,” Erin says. “He’s a good judge of character.”
“I’m honored again,” Otis says, rubbing Spot behind the ears.
Then Mom bursts through the kitchen door and attacks. “Otis, it is so nice to meet you! May I take your coat? What is your project about? Oh, isn’t that interesting! What do you think of Mr. Trilling? Erin thinks quite highly of him, and you know how demanding she can be, ha ha ha! I made snacks!”
Mom runs to the kitchen, leaving Otis and Erin and Spot in the living room.
“Let’s get to work,” Erin says. “I sit here. You can sit there.”
Otis doesn’t question her instructions. “Your mom is nice,” he says as he sits down.
“She doesn’t get out much.”
“Here you go!” Mom sings as she enters the room with two plates. She sets one in front of Erin that has celery and carrot sticks and a small bowl of raw almond butter. The plate in front of Otis has cheese and crackers. “All right then,” she says. “Otis, do you need anything else?”
“No,” he says. “Thank you.”
“Mother,” Erin says, “we are unlikely to get much work done with you hovering.”
“Yes, of course. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything.”
“So what’s up with the different snacks?” Otis says as soon as she’s gone.
“I’m not supposed to eat dairy or wheat,” Erin says, opening her laptop.
“What happens if you do?”
“Probably not too much if I just have a little right now.”
“Oh. Do you want some?”
“Yes.” She reaches over and counts out exactly half his crackers and slices of cheese, and puts them on her plate. She counts out half her carrot and celery sticks for him. “We can share this almond butter,” she says. “But do not, under any circumstances, double dip.”
“It’s a good thing nothing had an odd number of pieces,” Otis says.
“Mom knows better.”
Otis is smiling in a way that Erin knows is not mean, but it still feels like he’s laughing at her. Is it possible to laugh at someone in a friendly way? Erin wishes Rosina was here to ask, but she’s probably out on a date with that cheerleader. This is how it starts, the loss of people. They start drifting away and they never stop.
Erin feels the little reminder she’s been trained to feel, the internal voice telling her to try to act normal, to not say weird things, to not get emotional. Along with this reminder is the realization that she cares whether or not Otis likes her. These are the kinds of feelings she’s tried to eradicate, the insecurities and yearnings that only ever lead to pain.
This is too hard, this talking about snacks. Spot seems to agree, and licks Erin’s hand.
“I already put together an agenda for this afternoon,” Erin says, pulling up the document on her laptop. “To make sure we use our time most effectively and get the most done.”
“Do I get to have any input?” Otis says.
Erin looks at him and blinks. “I’d rather you not.”
“I’m pretty smart, you know.”
“Usually teachers don’t make me do group projects.”
“I asked Mr. Trilling to make us partners.”
“What?” Erin says, panic rising in her voice. “That’s not fair. You can’t go behind my back and make decisions for me like that. You can’t just sneak around manipulating things. Why’d you do that?” Spot paws at her. He rubs his face against her leg.
“I’m sorry,” Otis says. “I didn’t know it would upset you so much. I just thought it’d be fun to do a project together.”
“Why?”
“Because I like you.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Because you’re smart and speak your mind. Because you’re real. You’re also not bad to look at.”
Erin’s anxiety is not gone, but it has changed shape. It is a nervousness she and Spot can live with, at least temporarily.
“Not bad to look at?” Erin says. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
“I thought you’d hate it less than if I said you’re pretty.”
Erin shoves a stack of cheese and crackers in her mouth. The salty crunch and creamy softness calm her. Mom’s food theory is so wrong.
“Let’s get to work,” Erin says through the mass of crumbs in her mouth.
Erin is pleasantly surprised that Otis manages to stay on track for the next hour and a half. He is, indeed, smart. She might even say they work well together. There is no more talk of liking or prettiness. Confident that he will not be needed, Spot takes a little nap on the floor next to Erin’s feet.