“Yes, of course, if that is what you wish.” Rupert tried to ignore a foolish pang of disappointment.
Being in his study would emphasize the gulf between them as master of the house and employee, rather than two people who cared a great deal for his young daughters. Still, he tried to strike up a friendly conversation as they walked down to his study, talking about events in London and preparations under way to confront Napoleon. Miss Ellerby listened with polite interest but said very little in reply. Rupert wondered if something was bothering her. But what? The children all seemed well and happy.
Once they reached his study and were seated, Miss Ellerby did not keep him guessing what was on her mind. “I wished to speak with you, sir, about the matter you discussed with Charlotte last week.”
“My intention to court Mrs. Cadmore, you mean?” Suddenly Rupert guessed what might be weighing on Miss Ellerby’s mind. “If you are worried that my remarriage will affect your position at Nethercross, you may put your mind at ease. Mrs. Cadmore thinks quite as highly of you as I do. I am certain she will be only too happy to have you continue in charge of my daughters. There may even be more young Kendricks coming along for you to teach in future years. Given our agreement regarding your salary, you could end up quite handsomely paid for a year’s service—and worth every farthing, to my mind.”
His reassurance did not appear to have the affect he’d hoped for.
“Thank you, sir. I appreciate the confidence you place in me. It is not for myself that I am concerned but for your daughters. They are terribly upset at the prospect of you marrying Mrs. Cadmore and they begged me to speak with you on their behalf.”
“Terribly upset? Nonsense! Perhaps the news came as a bit of a shock last week. But today they were all in fine spirits. None of them said a peep about Mrs. Cadmore.”
The governess heaved an impatient sigh. “That is because you forbade them to mention the subject. And the only reason they seem happy is because they have faith in my ability to persuade you to reconsider your decision before it is too late.”
“Before it is too late?” Rupert sprang from his chair and circled behind it. He felt as if he had come under attack and needed to take up a strong defensive position. “You make it sound as if I intend to commit a crime when I am only seeking to do right by my daughters and my estate.”
“Forgive me, Lord Steadwell.” She looked sincerely grieved at having offended him. “I am certain you have excellent reasons for what you intend to do.”
“But you think I am wrong all the same. I suppose you share my daughters’ belief that you can bring me to my senses.” He infused those final words with bitter scorn.
Miss Ellerby shook her head. “I wish I could, but I fear your decision is irrevocable.”
Well that was better. At least she recognized his resolve. “Then let us waste no more time in fruitless argument.”
“I wish I could oblige you, Lord Steadwell.” Her mouth settled into a stubborn line. “But I promised the girls I would try and I must keep my promise.”
Hang it all! Mousy Miss Ellerby was nearly as stubborn as he. “Let us get it over with, then. What objections do my daughters have to my marrying Mrs. Cadmore?”
“First perhaps you could explain why you want to make the lady your wife.”
“I do not need to justify my decision to my daughters,” he snapped, “and certainly not to you, Miss Ellerby.”
She shrank back in her chair, making Rupert regret his harsh tone. She was only doing what his daughters had begged of her, after all. “I do not feel entitled to an explanation, sir. But surely your children deserve one. Perhaps if they understand your reasons, they might become reconciled to the idea in time.”
When she put the matter that way, it seemed unreasonable to refuse. “It is not a decision I made lightly. Nor have I considered only my own interests—but those of everyone involved.”
“I would never take you for a selfish man, sir.”
Somehow that meant a great deal to him. “If I had only myself to consider, I would be content to remain a widower to the end of my days.”
Miss Ellerby’s pale brows kit together. “Then why...?”
“Because my daughters need a mother, for one thing.”
When he saw the look of hurt that gripped her features, Rupert hastened to add, “You have done an excellent job with the girls—better than I ever hoped. But they will not remain this age forever. When the time comes for Charlotte to make her debut or Phoebe to give up her pony in favor of a young gentleman, those situations will require something more than even the best governess can provide.”
Miss Ellerby opened her mouth to contradict him then seemed to acknowledge the truth of what he’d said by shutting it again.
Rupert took advantage of her silence to continue. “There is also the question of who would care for the girls if something were to happen to me before they come of age. They have godparents, of course, but that might make it necessary to split them up.”
“And you think a stepmother would be any better?” The question burst from Miss Ellerby’s lips.
“I do,” he replied. “Otherwise I would not think of remarrying. Finally, there is the matter of Nethercross and what will become of it when I am gone. Unless I have a son to succeed me, the heir to my title and this estate would be a feckless cousin. I would not trust him with anything of value.”
“Oh.” That appeared to be the only reply Miss Ellerby was capable of making just then.
Had he shocked her speechless with his indelicate reference to expanding his family?
After an awkward silence, the governess recovered her voice. “Are those your only reasons for wanting to marry Mrs. Cadmore?”
“Are they not sufficient?” Rupert demanded. “What more do you want?”
“Only the most important reason of all—that you care for the lady and want to share your life with her. Your daughters do not believe you are in love with Mrs. Cadmore and I have seen nothing to suggest otherwise.”
In love with...? The very notion sent a cold trickle of fear slithering down his back. It provoked him to lash out.
“Are you so knowledgeable about being in love that you can recognize its absence, Miss Ellerby? I would not have supposed you knew any more about the subject than my daughters. Have you ever been in love to speak from experience?”
It was not the sort of question a gentleman should ask a lady, but Rupert could not help himself. Besides, now that it was out, he found himself more than usually curious about her answer.