‘Good.’ He lay back down. ‘I need to be reassured. Things are hard at the moment, with the baby and all. It’s hard for you, too, but you have no idea how bad it is for me. You only have yourself to think about all day. I have Mother and she’s getting worse.’
‘I’m sorry about your mother. Maybe I can help you look after her?’ She hoped that he’d take her up on the offer, but he hadn’t ever taken her up on any of her offers to date.
‘No, you’re a princess and you shouldn’t have to work hard. I will do everything and look after you too. It’s my job, my destiny, my one passion in life.’
‘But I’d like to help.’
‘I said no.’ He reached over and squeezed her throat then let go. As she coughed and wheezed, he sucked air in through his teeth and clenched his fist.
‘I’m sorry,’ said Debbie. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Okay,’ he replied. ‘Don’t ask again.’
She faced into the pillow with him lying behind her. She moved her ankle and heard the chain rattle on the floor. There was no way out. She’d tried to talk herself out in every way possible, she’d tried to run and she’d tried violence. Nothing she’d tried had worked out. Deep down, she knew there was no escape. But she also knew that by day he had a job and a normal life where he interacted with people who knew her. They had no idea what lay behind the mask he wore every day. Her only dream was that he’d one day take off that mask and reveal his true self to just one person who would help her.
He squeezed her from behind and kissed her neck. ‘I have to tend to Mother now. The old dear always seems to be searching for bread as soon as the sun comes up. I haven’t got long until I have to make the breakfast. Honey with your toast?’ She nodded. Refusal wasn’t an option. She let out a long breath as he loosened his embrace. He left, locking the door behind him, and she listened until his footsteps disappeared. The dog barked as he reached the house.
Darkness and solitude were her greatest fears and enemies, but at times like this, they were also her friends. She was now alone to dream.
She thought back to when she’d held her little one after giving birth. It had been only three days ago, but the image of her baby’s perfect little face was beginning to fade. The only thing that had any substance in her mind was the birthmark on her leg. Her baby’s memory had been reduced to a birthmark.
She cried as she tried to recall Isobel’s exact features. The images weren’t coming to her. Was that it? Was that the end? Her stomach clenched as she turned and sat up. The burning heat had spread from her perineum to surrounding areas. She smelled her hands. A sweaty, oily scent assaulted her nostrils. She wiped them in her tears, then on the bottom of the quilt. She wanted to be clean, she wanted to rid his smell from her body and she wanted to go home.
But where was home? Luke had replaced her. She had no home; she had nothing. She needed her mother. She stared into the darkness. ‘I miss you, Mum.’
Twenty-Six
Luke yawned as he prepared the kids’ lunches. He chopped Max’s cheese sandwiches into squares and Heidi’s strawberry jam sandwiches into triangles, and placed them in their respective lunch boxes. He’d decided against packing the children up and sending them to Cathy’s after the attempted break in. One look at his two children sleeping soundly in his bed had changed his mind.
He glanced at the time. Brooke would arrive in less than ten minutes. His heart quickened and his mouth was dry. He ran the tap and poured a glass of water. He’d texted her the previous evening to tell her to still come around in the morning so that they could walk together as they usually did, but he’d made it clear they needed to talk. He’d given her no clue as to what was happening in his life. The last she’d remember was their near sexual encounter and him being frosty with her since. He wished his life were simpler. He took a swig of water.
The door knocked. He opened it to see Cathy on the step. ‘Max left his PE kit at mine. I knew he needed it for today. I’ve washed it.’ She smiled. Luke moved to one side and let her in. She reached over and hugged him.
‘I don’t know how I’m going to get through today. Brooke is due soon.’ He felt a tear squeeze out of the corner of his eye as she stroked his hair and pulled away.
‘You have to be honest with her, Luke. Let her know what’s happening. You’ll get through this. We’ll do this together.’
‘I know I do, and I will. Can you walk the kids to school? Joe too?’ He couldn’t face the school run today. He knew that Cathy was also going through a lot, but he couldn’t go to the school and he didn’t want to mention the intruder and upset her further.
She nodded. ‘Of course I will. When I’ve walked them, I’ll come back and we’ll have a chat and a cuppa. I suppose we need to start thinking about things.’
‘You mean the baby?’ he asked as he walked back into the kitchen.
‘Yes, I called up the social worker, Devina, to arrange a home visit, as we discussed. I thought maybe here would be a good place to start.’
Luke stared blankly out of the window.
Max stomped down the stairs. ‘Dad, I can’t find my PE kit.’
‘It’s okay. Nanny has it here. Just go and brush your teeth. And tell your sister to hurry up. You have five minutes then I need you guys downstairs and ready to go.’
Cathy held her head. ‘Anyway, we’ll talk about the baby and other things. We’re close to finding out what happened to Debbie, I’m sure of it, but I’m scared. What if some monster has her in his home, trapped? It keeps going through my mind. She’s still my baby, Luke.’ She tried to hold back her tears.
Luke placed his arm around her. ‘And I still love her. I want her back more than anything.’ Silence fell upon the pair as they stared out of the kitchen window. There was a slight frost on the back lawn. He couldn’t keep the news of the intruder from her any longer. ‘I didn’t call you, but we had an attempted break-in last night.’
Cathy pulled back and blew her nose. ‘What? You should’ve called me.’
‘There’s nothing you could’ve done. I was going to bring the kids round to yours in the night but they were tired and I didn’t want to alarm them.’
‘I know, but I could’ve been here, for you and the kids,’ she replied.
‘It’s okay. I called the police. Forensics came. He didn’t get in anyway. I think I scared him with the kitchen knife.’ Luke filled the kettle and switched it on. ‘So I have a lot to sort out today.’
‘Are the kids okay?’
‘They aren’t really aware of what happened. They were disturbed by the police being in the house but they were easily placated when I let them have my bed, hence why I’m so tired this morning. Sleeping in Max’s car bed for the last couple of hours wasn’t the best move.’ He yawned and spooned a couple of heaps of coffee into a mug. ‘Quick cuppa?’
Cathy looked at her watch. ‘No, I’ll have to leave in a couple of minutes. I’ll have it when I get back.’
‘Daddy, Heidi won’t let me in the bathroom to brush my teeth!’ Max yelled from the top of the stairs.
Luke took a sip of the hot coffee. ‘Every morning, same story,’ he said with a smile as he walked into the hall. ‘Heidi? Out of the bathroom now and get downstairs.’
‘But Dad,’ was the muffled reply.
‘Don’t “but Dad” me. Downstairs now.’
There was a knock at the door and he opened it to see Brooke, looking at him nervously. She tucked her hair behind her ears. He noticed the bags under her eyes and the lack of make-up.
Joe ran into the house and up the stairs, shouting for Max.
‘I’m so sorry I haven’t called. Do you mind if Cathy walks Joe to school with Max and Heidi this morning? I need to talk to you.’ She shook her head and stepped into the hall.
‘Morning, dear,’ Cathy called.
‘Morning, Cathy,’ she called back. Brooke hesitated in the hallway. He could tell she didn’t know where to stand or what to do. She began to bite her nails.
‘Do you want to sit for a few minutes?’