Almost Free
?Senior Year
JUSTIN
SWEET SERENITY RANCH 4:00 P.M.
I’m sitting in my Jeep, watching Peyton like a psycho stalker. I can’t help it, though. She’s riding again, rounding the third barrel on the course like a pro—a slow pro, but a pro without fear, and a proud smile curves my mouth.
The selfish ass inside me would love to think I did that, that I helped her trust herself and find her strength. But she would’ve gotten there on her own eventually. Peyton is so much stronger than she ever gives herself credit for. I, on the other hand, am the one needing direction.
The graduation machine is in full force, and because of it, Peyton and I have barely talked. We finished our FACS paper on Monday, said “hi” in passing between finals, and sent a handful of meaningless texts before we both crashed from exhaustion. But I still have no clue where we stand, and time is flying by so fast it’s starting to blur. Friday night we graduate, and then it’s Peyton’s exhibition and the championship game on Saturday. Suddenly everything seems to be coming to a head, and hell if I know where that even is.
A sharp rap on the window scares the shit out of me. Some stalker I am—I have zero sense of my surroundings. Hand to heart, I shift in my seat, and find myself on the other end of Cade’s guarded gaze.
Awesome, just how I wanted to spend the day. With a sigh, I yank open the door and step onto the steaming ground. “Cade.”
He ignores me, his eyes shifting to Peyton. “She looks good up there, doesn’t she?”
“She does,” I agree, feeling my muscles tense. His stupid cowboy hat shades his eyes and I can’t get a read on him. What’s his angle now? Feigning aloofness, I lean back against my door. “I reckon she’ll be at full speed in no time.”
Internally, I shake my head. Reckon? Apparently, country is contagious.
Cade’s eyes cut to me. “That’s on you.”
My head rears back in confusion and I try to remember what we were even talking about. “Huh?”
“Her riding,” he explains with a nod that tips his hat. I’m trapped in a damn western. “You helped her when I couldn’t. She’s up there on that horse because of you.”
I’m too shocked to respond. In fact, my thoughts race as I search for possible motives or hidden meanings behind his words, but I find none. Cade’s face is resigned and almost even friendly. The muscles in my shoulders relax a fraction.
“I was here the day she fell,” he says, gently kicking my rear tire with his boot. He turns and rests his back against the frame. “We were damn lucky that it was only a wrist fracture. But I’d never seen Peyton so devastated.” His throat strains with a swallow. “About a year later, I asked her why she pushed so hard that day. Why she went against what her therapists told her and rode Oakley.”
I don’t like where this is going. Warning signs are blaring but I ask anyway, “And what did she say?”
Cade looks at me. “That you two had broken up.” He lifts an eyebrow. “I hadn’t even known you were together.”
I scrub a hand over my face as my world crashes to a halt. “No one did,” I manage to croak. “Faith knew, but…”
“That girl knows everything,” he finishes for me, and I nod once, feeling the bile rise up my throat.
God, I’m a schmuck.
It doesn’t take a genius to put the pieces together. Peyton fell and broke her wrist the same day I broke her heart. It was almost poetic in its utter shittiness.
I bang my head against the window and Cade glances back at Peyton.
“It probably would’ve happened anyway,” he continues. “She’s always been a spitfire. Stubborn as hell. If y’all breaking up hadn’t pushed her, it would’ve been something else.”
“Maybe,” I admit. “But it wasn’t something else, was it?”
Cade turns, leaning his shoulder against the Jeep so he can face me. “Look, I’m not here to start anything or make you feel like shit. I just thought you deserved to know the full story. CC and I may not be together anymore, but I’ll never stop being her friend. I’ll never stop looking out for her.”
“What are you getting at, man?”
“I want to know what your plans are,” he tells me. “The draft is next week and I still don’t know where your head is. Are you going pro or are you headed to college? Do you want to be with Peyton or not? I know it’s none of my business, I get that, but the girl’s been through enough. For the last three years, she’s been locked in a shell, and I’d hoped to be the one to get her out. But it’s not me… it’s you. It’s always been you. Just look at that smile on her face.”
I follow his gaze to Peyton riding and, sure enough, her huge smile is back.