When Justin didn’t immediately follow, I turned back in confusion. “I think I need a minute,” he told me with me a rueful smile. I frowned in confusion and he sent a pointed look toward his lap. “Tell your dad I’ll be right out.”
What the… Oh. “Sure!” A strange mix of pride and embarrassment flushed my cheeks, turning my face what had to be five shades of red and I stuttered, “T-take your time. Really. However long you need. You know. Until things get, uh, back to normal.”
Justin chuckled at my inane mutterings, and I quickly spun on my heel, heading back toward the main house before I could say anything more idiotic. Could I possibly be a bigger virginal nitwit? But, make-out-newb or not, as I rapped on the post outside Oakley’s door and waltzed out the barn, there was no fighting my Cheshire-cat-like grin.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 28TH
1 Week until Graduation
?Senior Year
PEYTON
SWEET SERENITY RANCH 5:10 P.M.
Walking back out onto the doghouse porch, I can’t help remembering that Easter all those years ago. What on earth possessed me to bring it up? We were having a good, mostly uncomfortable, innuendo-free time, and my brilliant self just had to go and throw that into the mix.
In times like this, I seriously consider wearing a muzzle.
Sure, the thought of Justin being alone again for another holiday hit me solid in the chest, and I reacted purely out of instinct, wanting to make him smile. But the truth is, he’s probably spent every holiday alone since our breakup. And that… God… that sucks.
“Hey.” Metal chains clank together in a funky melody as Justin stands up from the porch swing. My gaze falls to his sling and an unwanted shiver racks my spine. I was so scared… “All set?”
“Yep.” I shove my hands in my back pockets and direct my gaze toward the grass. A midnight blue extended pick-up roars to life and the owner, Mr. Hamilton, waves a goodbye. “Sparky’s eating a pig’s ear in her deluxe accommodations as we speak,” I say, watching the truck’s taillights disappear down the worn path.
Cade has a truck similar to Mr. Hamilton’s. Dark blue, lots of room to store and transport ranch equipment. He loves that truck. Even though his parents are well-off, Cade worked his fingers to the bone, taking extra shifts and saving every penny he made so he could buy it himself. I’ll never forget the pride in his eyes the day he cut the check to the dealership.
A fresh wave of guilt comes with the memory.
How can I even think about that Easter? I have a boyfriend—an incredible boyfriend—who, yeah, has been getting on my nerves a bit lately, and his jealous comments aren’t exactly attractive… but obviously, his feelings are justified. If our relationship was as solid as it should be, as I used to think it was, memories like that spring night wouldn’t keep popping up. And Cade wouldn’t feel so threatened.
So really, this is all my fault. Surprise, surprise.
“You okay?”
Justin touches my elbow to gain my attention, and electricity shoots up my arm.
Cade, Cade, CADE.
“Yeah,” I say, twisting slightly away from the touch. Ignoring the way his eyes darken. “Just thinking is all.”
Justin shifts back on his feet and studies me. Either he reads my thoughts or decides against asking because instead of pushing for details, he says, “Guess it’s time for our experiment.”
Huh? “What experiment?”
A small smile forms on his lips but he doesn’t answer as he walks past me silently, down the porch steps and back out toward the barn. Since I want answers, I have no choice but to follow.
As I rush to catch up, I remember him saying something about an experiment once we finished our FACS assignment. We’d been talking about riding just before then… oh crap.
When I’m still a few steps behind, he says over his shoulder, “Tell me what went through your head while you were riding Oakley.”
I groan, realizing exactly what the so-called experiment is about, and he glances at me with an apology in his eyes. “You said you didn’t make it past the first barrel, but I’m curious what you felt before that? When you walked Oakley out on the course.”
My insides squeeze painfully as I mentally step back onto the barrel racing course. “I don’t know… nervous, I guess. Curious if things would magically be different this time. Mostly doubting they would be. But, you know, for a split-second there,” I shake my head and huff a humorless laugh, “I actually fooled myself into thinking they might.”
Justin frowns at this and pulls me to a stop just inside the entrance to the barn. He blinks to adjust his eyes to the dim lighting, then leans a shoulder against the beam. “What changed?”