Feeling brave, I spun around and said, “Just don’t get used to it, Carter.”
Justin chuckled as he began walking again and the sound melted my insides into warm, sticky syrup. At the curb, he ducked his head through the passenger window to speak with the driver.
My hands were clammy so I rubbed them down the sides of my uniform skirt, hoping I hadn’t gotten my hopes up for nothing. It was only a ride. Yet, somehow, it felt like more. When Justin turned and waved me over, I withheld my shoulder shimmy and typed a quick text to my parents. Then
I hopped inside.
“Thanks so much for the ride,” I said, headed to the third row bench Justin pointed to and scooting all the way over. He followed behind me and closed the door. “I really appreciate it.”
“It’s no problem at all.” The driver turned around in her seat, a wide smile on her face. Her voice held a slight accent and her cropped brown hair was shot through with silver. “I’m just glad Justin saw you before it got dark. It’s too cold to be sitting outside.”
The concern was sweet, but honestly, the weather didn’t bother me. If I’d wanted, I could’ve waited in the athletic department while Dad had his staff meeting. It’s just that I’d spent far too many days locked inside as it was. I preferred being outdoors, feeling the sun on my face, even with the cooler air.
Explaining that didn’t exactly make for sexy banter, however, and people tended to get weird when they learned about my illness. I wanted Justin to think I was fun and hot. Not a pity case.
After Rosalyn entered my address into the GPS, she adjusted the radio so that the music was blaring up front. Thus giving us in the back a semblance of privacy (eep!). We pulled away from the school and as the sign for Fairfield Academy whipped past my window, I couldn’t help but smile.
I was doing it!
It was hard to explain to my parents exactly why I needed to come here. Sure, the Vet program was a plus, but that elective wasn’t even available until senior year. And the school had dual-credit options for homeschoolers, too. The real reason was more… indescribable. A feeling deep down that my recovery depended on me being here. It sounded strange even to me, so it wasn’t something I could ever tell them. But, after everything I’d been through, I needed a drastic shift to mark the end of that chapter. Something big to start a fresh one, to experience new things. Begin living out loud.
Sitting in the backseat with Justin Carter? That counted as living.
BIG time.
“You realize you’re smiling every time I see you, right?”
I curled my lips around my teeth and tore my gaze away from the passing trees. Justin’s mouth kicked up in his own lopsided grin.
“What’s your secret?” he asked, leaning in. “Are you laughing at the rest of us? Plotting our destruction?” I shook my head, trying desperately to suppress my smile and failing miserably, and he added, “Singing along with Barney in your head?”
The purple dinosaur reference almost got me. Out of nowhere, the motivational quote from my physical therapist’s office floated in my mind and I said, “A smile doesn’t always mean you’re happy.” I shrugged and looked away. “Sometimes it just means you’re ready to face whatever comes.”
“Huh?”
“Nothing.” From spouting innuendo to quoting inspirational posters in a matter of minutes. At least I was unique. “Just something I read somewhere.”
We drove in silence for another block, but the quiet wasn’t awkward. It was comfortable, exciting. I stopped short of calling it normal, as this was the first time I’d sat so close to a boy I was crushing on. Not that surprising since I was a crush-virgin—unless you counted Gilbert Blythe, Theodore “Laurie” Laurence, and the hotties on Supernatural. But being this close to Justin felt nice.
Yes, I realized testing my innocent heart on a boy like him wasn’t my smartest move. It was sort of like trying to eat a gallon of Ben and Jerry’s in one big gulp—you’re more than likely gonna regret it. And walk away with a brain freeze. But wasn’t that what this new chapter in my life was all about? Doing what scared me, stepping out of my comfort zone?
I stole a glance at him, watching the way his lips tightened, how his forehead furrowed and his chest stopped moving like he was deep in thought. Suddenly, sharing a car ride with this boy wasn’t enough; I wanted to know everything I could about him. What he liked, what he hated. How he felt about a certain Diamond Doll.
“Hey, I’ve got an idea.” I slid my foot beneath me and turned to face him on the bench seat. He quirked an eyebrow. “Have you ever played three questions?”
“Uh, is that a thing?” I nodded eagerly, and he laughed. “You’ve just got, like, surpluses of energy, don’t you?”
I winced. “Ah, pretty much.”