“Yeah. Not feeling well.”
I want to be clear: In all the years we were together, I never actually saw Prince doing drugs. He didn’t want me to see it. I’m sure he knew what my reaction would be. I didn’t drink or do any kind of drugs, and I didn’t want that in my life. I knew Prince loved port wine, but he wasn’t a big consumer of anything except sex and music, as far as I knew. He had a black bag that always seemed to be close at hand—like a gym bag, not too man-purse-y—but the contents were pretty tame: candy, vitamins, makeup, a Bible, and a big wad of cash. He had incredible amounts of money, and he always seemed to have plenty on him so he could send people off to get whatever it was he needed. He was still young—in his mid-thirties—and never complained about fatigue or pain. Sometimes on tour, he got vitamin B12 shots, and so did I. For me, that was enough to keep my energy and immune system up to the task of traveling and performing. I never had any trouble sleeping because I was dog tired. I thought it was the same for him.
But there were a few disturbing incidents that happened while we were together, and this is one of several occasions when he told me he was “sick” or that he had a “migraine.” Looking back, I can see it was something else. I didn’t see it then. Maybe because I didn’t want to.
I set Hena down, and she wagged over to him, wanting to love him on pure instinct. We sat quietly for a while. Every now and then, she’d put her paw on his face or nuzzle his hand, and eventually he brought her up to his lap.
“You should go,” he said. “I don’t want you to get sick.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, but… do you mind if she hangs out for a while?”
“Sure,” I said. “I can come and feed her in the morning, but you’ll need to take her out later tonight.”
“Yeah. We’ll be cool.”
The next morning, when I arrived to feed Hena, Prince seemed like himself again, but I could tell he’d had a long night. He rubbed Hena’s head and said, “She’s an angel. No matter how bad I was feeling, she’d come and put her paw on me.”
“She’s very intuitive,” I said.
He nodded. “It gave me a whole new respect for dogs.”
“Will you be all right if we leave?” I asked.
“Oh, sure. Of course. But hold up a minute.” He handed me a sealed envelope. “I need you to take this to the office.”
When I took the envelope, I didn’t ask what was in it. I guess he could see the curiosity and concern in my face.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “It’s just in case—just take it to them. They’ll know what to do.”
This was not the only time he asked me to do that, and on each of those occasions, I got a distinct vibe that the envelope—which I never opened, of course—had something to do with the future of his music. That’s why it was so strange to me when I read that he had died without a will. I know for a fact that he was on top of his business concerns and did think about a time when someone else would be curating his creative life’s work.
He wrote to me:
This was the year grew up. Part of me wants 2 be alone 4 a while, not away from u, just alone with me. There is a difference. Wherever am, whatever ’m doing— think of u. Always. Hypnoparadise. ’d like 2 go away and make serious plans 4 the future. ’ve never felt so adult in my life. Now, there are a lot of things have 2 deal with. My Paris apartment, the property on Melrose pay rent monthly on, the Love 4 one another concept, the renting or sale of the L.A. house (since we’ll be on tour). hope u can grow up a little more with me as well. Cuz ’m gonna need your support as much as your love these next few months. We’ve gone thru so much 2gether. And yet it seems like we’ve just started. I look forward 2 everything…
In an effort to throw him a bone, apparently, Warner Bros. allowed him to release a single as a one-off aside from his contract. “The Most Beautiful Girl in the World” is a song that was particularly important to him. I know of at least three women besides me who believe it was written specifically for them. I hope every woman who hears it thinks it was written specifically for her. Because it was. Take a look at the music video. You won’t see me in it. You’ll see a collage of girls and women of every age, race, and body type. This was his love song to all of us.