She wanted to get rid of me. I felt my face chill. “Of course you can do anything you wish. You will be the empress.”
She sighed. “I am so sorry, Mei. I like you. Truly. I do. It is not my wish to harm you, but I made a promise to a friend.”
Rain. My hand shook, and the liquid spilled on my fingers.
I did not know how I returned to my table. Sitting there, I stared at the trays of food in front of me. There were plates of duck, quail, mutton, pigs’ feet, cows’ tongues. They were either stewed, roasted, or fried—animals dead, cooked, and sliced.
? ? ?
A woman I had never seen before stood in front of the wardrobe chamber. “Most Adored wished me to tell you,” she said, “that I would take care of the Emperor’s wardrobe from now on.”
“It’s my duty.” I tried to control my temper. “She cannot overturn the Emperor’s order.”
“If you wish to ask the Emperor, you may do so.”
“Where is he?”
“In Most Adored’s bedchamber.”
Desperate, I went straight to the Quarters of the Pure Lotus. But when I reached the courtyard, I turned back. I would only make myself look pitiful if I confronted him. Besides, I could not find any reason that he would side with me.
I felt desperate. Jewel had started to push me aside, and she was not even the empress yet.
And Plum told me nothing that I did not already know. Everyone had thought Jewel was only an old Select, and no one could recall the name of Snow Blossom.
? ? ?
The imperial astrologers gathered in the Emperor’s library to discuss which day was most auspicious for the coronation. Among them was the barefoot astrologer. I stood behind the other maids and lowered my head. I did not like the astrologer, and I was glad he did not notice me.
With the incense lit, he chanted with the others, crouching over a ball instrument held by a tripod with toads for legs. A famous instrument built three hundred years ago, it was said to be able to detect Heaven’s intention. The men pointed their fingers here and there, frowning, nodding, and murmuring. There were some days good for weddings, fishing, traveling, riding outdoors, and some days we should wear wooden ornaments rather than jade, don garments of plain colors instead of red, avoid the topic of snakes, or refrain from lighting fire and cooking.
“For coronation”—they studied the instrument together—“let’s see…”
I hoped they would never find an auspicious day for that occasion in the next two hundred years. But after a while, they clapped their hands and shouted. “The twentieth day of the third month!”
Only one month away.
Suddenly, the court was crowded with seamstresses, musicians, jewelry makers, wine specialists, and eunuchs who reviewed lists of specialties around the kingdom for the banquet. Jewel pranced around. Her maids supported her arms as she walked, as if they were worried she would trip and kill herself, while the nutrition provosts trailed behind, instructing her on what food would fatten her and the fetus. My ears hurt from listening.
? ? ?
Too soon, the third month of the year came.
“Still didn’t find anything?” the Noble Lady asked when I came to her bedchamber.
I shook my head. Plum was talking to an old laundry woman, but that would surely lead nowhere.
“I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve spoken to the Chancellor about the Emperor’s intention. He said it was up to the Emperor to make the decision about the Empress.”
I rubbed my forehead, disappointed.
“I knew he would not support me. I was asking too much from him.” She sat on a stool near her bed, her hands on a metal warmer. “I also asked the Emperor’s uncle. The old man received me and asked me what I thought of the Duke. He gave me a tirade about his foe, telling me how unworthy he was and how the Emperor had wronged him. I’m afraid he is growing angry and senile.”
There was nothing to stop Jewel now.
? ? ?
On the eighteenth day of the month, two nights before Jewel’s crowning, I stood in the courtyard of my chamber, watching the night sky. There was no moon, only stars, scattered like frozen sunflower seeds. I thought of Father. I was sorry. I could not fulfill his dream after all.
Then I heard a piercing howl from the east side of the Inner Court, the Quarters of the Pure Lotus. It was Jewel’s scream. Without thinking, I dashed to the quarters.
All over the court, many servants scuttled around. Near Jewel’s chamber, her maids rushed out with bedding stained with blood.
She had lost her baby.
Heaven help me! Perhaps Jewel would not be the empress now.
From the Noble Lady’s chamber, I watched women who came to visit Jewel. It was protocol for the Ladies to offer condolences, even though we all knew it was sheer pretense. When the Noble Lady returned from Jewel’s chamber, I asked her, “Is the Emperor going to delay the coronation now?”
“I don’t think so.” She shook her head.
“But she has a cold womb.” A fetus could not thrive in a cold womb, I had heard.
“I thought so too. But Most Adored claims that is not the case.”
“What else could have happened then?”