She shrugged and left.
Sitting on the floor, I hugged my knees. The night fell, but I did not want to move. She had given me one day. One day, and then my life would be ruined.
I did not know what to do. I liked the Noble Lady. All the good things Plum had said about her were true. I could not imagine repaying her kindness with treachery. And the silkworms. I could not harm them.
But I needed to retrieve the jewelry, and the only way to get it was to do as Jewel had asked. I could not fight off Jewel and the Pure Lady. They were ruthless, and they would destroy me if the Emperor believed I had stolen the jewelry.
I did not have a choice. I had to obey them.
In fact, it might not be as difficult as I had imagined. The Noble Lady liked me, and she would allow me to enter the workshops. Perhaps I could go there during the night when there were not many people and smother the fire without anyone knowing.
I breathed hard. Yes. I could do it when no one was around.
Quickly, I tidied up the room, ate my supper in my bedchamber, and put on a black robe. By the time I went to the workshops, it was near midnight. To my relief, the guards on duty were the two I had seen before.
They frowned as I approached them. “Did the Noble Lady call for you? At this hour?”
“Oh, no. She did not call for me. I came myself. She does not know,” I said pleasantly.
“I’ll let her know you’ve come.”
She was still working at this hour? I did not expect that. “It’s all right… I can wait to see her.”
“Then get out of here.”
“I will… I will… You see… I don’t know what to do about this…” I fished in my pocket and took out the silkworm Pheasant had given me. “I found this near the wall. I don’t know who this belongs to. But it looks valuable. Whoever lost it must be anxious. I don’t know who I should give it to…”
The guards peered at the silkworm. “Leave it to us. We’ll give it to the Noble Lady.”
“Of course, of course.” I put my hand out then took it back. “It’s not that I do not trust you… It’s just I would like to give it to the lady myself. She is so kind to me. Please?”
They hesitated but finally waved me through. I dashed inside as fast as possible and crossed the courtyards. The whole building was quiet, only lanterns illuminating under the eaves. Some workers were still there on night duty. I could hear their footsteps behind the doors. When I reached the nursery, a lantern shone in the corridor, where the Noble Lady sat at her spindle wheel. Lights from the nursery shone on her plump face. She looked like a Buddhist statue. I hid behind a pillar, waiting.
The sound of swishing echoed steadily in the nursery, and a few night workers paced inside. They must have been changing the leaves or checking the fire in the braziers. After a while, the Noble Lady rose, rubbed her chest as though tired, and instructed the night workers to get some sleep. “It’ll be another good four hours until our babies need to feed again,” she said, and they nodded and spread out pallets in the corridor. With four braziers in the nursery, it was too hot to sleep there.
Four hours. That would give me plenty of time. I waited until the lady left and the workers fell asleep. They were obviously exhausted, and their snores rose instantly. I waited a bit longer and then tiptoed past them.
Once inside the nursery, I snatched a broom and began at the brazier in the far corner. The heat from the fire burned my cheeks, and my hands trembled. I had no choice, I reminded myself. I was like a baby silkworm too, cocooned in the threads of my enemies’ conspiracies. And if I did not obey them, I could not transform to become the moth that flew on my own wishes and pursued my own light.
I stabbed the flames with the broom, and they died off without resistance. I repeated the action with the second brazier. The nursery darkened. It became cooler. I moved to the next corner and stirred. The fire shot up fiercely, as though fighting me, but dimmed, and gradually, the red color faded from the embers. At the same time I could hear the swishing sound of the nursery became fainter, as though the silkworms had lost their breaths. Had any baby silkworms stopped hatching because of me? Were any silkworms freezing to death right now because of me?
One more.
I held the broom tight and moved to the brazier near the corridor. Afterward, I could go to Jewel’s chamber and get the jewelry back.
“Mei!”
I jerked around. In the corridor stood the Noble Lady. She had returned. Why had she returned?
She was trembling, her whole face shaking. “What are you doing? What are you doing?”
I dropped the broom and fell to my knees. “I… I… Forgive me, my Noble Lady!” The workers had awakened. They hurried to restart the fires. “I can explain… Please… I can explain!”