He had also hidden me, provided me with shelter and got me out of Ireland after I had murdered Coivin, my cousin, Dark Twin and prince of Donegal, who I had killed to protect a young woman he was about to rape. The act could be regarded as justifiable but I carried the burden of guilt. I would still ask myself now if there was anything else I could have done, short of killing him. I could not see a way but I still looked for it.
All that was a long time ago. Thirty years since I last saw Ieuan, as I set sail from a small harbour in Antrim for the kingdom of Strathclyde, on the mainland of Britain. A lot of water had flowed under many bridges since then. My destiny had taken me to Rome, Spain, the kingdoms of the Franks, to triumph and disaster, as a mercenary, Seer, bodyguard and assassin, to madness after defeat at the Winwaed[10], and now to my life as a monk with a new name and very different objectives and desires.
I had thought about Ieuan from time to time down the years and wondered what had happened to him. I knew the old man in front of me was him but it was still hard to fully accept it. Time had treated us very differently.
We talked about the people we’d known and what had become of them, who had died, who had survived, who was a druid and in what kingdom, the converts to Christianity and so on.
I raised the bad times first, that poison tree that was rooted in Innisgarbh.
“You remember Lucius?” I asked.
“Lucius?” Ieuan was contemptuous. “He was exiled after you left. He was sent to Manannan’s Isle, in the Inner Sea[11]. They thought he could be controlled, there.”
“They were wrong. You knew that?”
“I heard something of it,” he shrugged, and looked away. This was strange and I was just about to ask him about it when he looked me straight in the eye again. “I heard that he and his coven were completely destroyed and that it cost a lot of lives to do so – both Druid and Christian, I heard. I also heard that the forces that defeated him were led by a young man who had powers the others could not conceive of. That was you, wasn’t it?”
“Yes it was,” I said. Lucius had established a coven devoted to Cromm Cruaich, the devil-god, the eater of children. He had begun his work at Innisgarbh and had sowed confusion in the place. He and his followers had cast a distraction spell that turned attention away from the cause of the errors, irritations and mistakes that plagued it; him and his followers – they were the cause of all the disruption and upset. He was on the verge of taking it over completely and would have succeeded, had it not been for a remarkable stroke of luck. Our uncle, Conor, arrived to take Coivin and myself back to Donegal, after ten years away. He saved us from being beaten to death by Lucius, along with two of his followers. Even then, what had been going on was not understood until we returned to Donegal. Ieuan had accompanied us and he mentioned to Rogh, the kingdom’s High Druid, that his mind felt clearer, now he was away from Innisgarbh. Rogh grasped the significance immediately and gathered a troop of Ireland’s most powerful druids. They arrived at Innisgarbh as a small army, broke the spell and overthrew the coven. Exile followed for some, imprisonment for others. Lucius should not have been able to do anything on Innis Vannin[12] but he clearly managed to seduce his gaolers to his cause. I told Ieuan everything about the confrontation at the Ballaugh.
“I was called by Diarmuid – you remember him?” I asked.
“He was your protector for a while. He left to join the Christians,” he said. There might have been an edge to his reply but I thought nothing of it.
“Yes. Well, I received a summons from him. I was reluctant to respond. It had been a long time – ten years – since I fled Donegal, after I had killed Coivin. I was inclined to think that the affairs of the Druids back there were nothing to do with me.
“Where were you when you got the summons?”
“A long way away, near the Middle Sea, which the Romans called the Mare Nostrum[13]. I had been engaged as a battle advisor. It paid quite well,” I paused and remembered, but only briefly. “I took some persuading. I was still very much a wanted man; my cousins in Donegal were after my blood. Diarmuid arranged and guaranteed safe passage, there and back to Rome, if I wanted. Several others, both Druid and Christians added their voices.”
“Why you?”
“They said I was the one who could focus their combined powers. And because I had encountered Lucius before, when he wasn’t as powerful as he became, I had some immunity to him.” Ieuan nodded.
“So you went.”
“Yes. It took me nearly three weeks to get there. I was worried that I might have missed everything. I needn’t have been concerned,” I smiled, “I arrived two mornings after Diarmuid and his allies had sent the summons to me.” Ieuan smiled in his turn and observed how irrelevant Time really is, or how the Otherworld ignores the rules when it feels so inclined.
“You won the battle – but at a cost, I think.”
“Yes. We lost a lot of good and brave people. Diarmuid and Amergin died – yes, Amergin was there.” He had been the principal of Innisgarbh when Ieuan and I were there. Several others died, too, Christians and Druids alike. “I didn’t know most of them. Hardly even got the chance to meet them. They were just forces to be harnessed and thrown into the battle. Lucius and company had grown very powerful – they had engaged in human sacrifice. Did you know?” he nodded, briefly. “It gives great power but the cost – the cost is abominable. Those people were willing to risk everything to defeat it. I didn’t know them but they were very brave. Very brave. They knew what they were risking and they did it anyway. And the madness – madness claimed more. I could help some but others… they were lost. I don’t know if they ever recovered. I don’t think so.”
“And you? What cost to you?” I looked up, sharply. If I didn’t know better I would have thought he knew. But how could he?
“What about you?” I responded. “You weren’t there. Where were you?” Another shadow flickered across his face.
“I was in Benoic[14],” he replied. Suddenly, I realised the price he had paid for helping me, all those years ago. He had been exiled. Somehow, they had found out that he had helped me.
“Amergin intervened to spare me death or expulsion from the order but I was exiled.” I hadn’t known but I was still deeply apologetic. “It was going to be for life but the Ballaugh changed that. My accusers were all dead. Or insane. The core of our craft had been shattered. There were so few left,” he said, and looked down. Some shadows in a corner of the room caught my attention for a moment. I was drawn back when he continued speaking. “I was needed. So the exile was lifted. But you – what did it cost you?”
I had been hurt, as badly as if I had taken a physical beating. I needed time to recover but my safe passage only applied for a short time. Without Diarmuid and Amergin to speak up for me I couldn’t stay and recover on Innis Vannin. I was taken to Ynys Witrin[15]; the women there restored me to health.” I almost mentioned Morwenna and Sian, the daughter we conceived together, but something else occurred to me. “Were you not called?” I asked Ieuan. He shook his head, and so then did I. “Strange. We needed every ounce of help we could get.”
“I might not have been here if I had,” he said.