“Wait for lightning” said Opferlamm.
“You wait at the door for lightning.”
Opferlamm retreated farther into the room instead.
Rain slammed the roof, trying to pound its way in. The floor, rotting straw strewn across hard packed clay, ran in countless miniature rivers.
Wichtig and his apprentice stood, swords ready, waiting.
Finally, Wichtig said, “I don’t think it’s coming.”
“Maybe it’s waiting for us to go out,” said Opferlamm.
“It’ll be waiting a long time.”
Opferlamm nodded agreement.
They waited longer, swords drooping and eventually hanging loose in their hands.
“I’m tired,” said Wichtig.
“Me too.”
“Should we light a fire?”
“That might be pushing it,” said Opferlamm.
Finding a dry piece of floor, Wichtig sheathed his sword and collapsed. “We’ll practice,” he said. “To pass the time.”
“Are you mad? We’re going to spar—”
“Don’t be an idiot.” He gestured at another dry patch of floor. “Stand there.”
Opferlamm stood, sword, still drawn.
“Good,” said Wichtig, sprawled on the floor. “Show me your heroic pose.”
The lass glanced at the ceiling and then at the door.
“That,” said Wichtig, “is a shite heroic pose. You look like a terrified girl.”
“I am a terrified girl.”
“You are the worst apprentice I’ve ever had,” Wichtig said. “You’re a Swordswoman, you’re always in danger. If it isn’t dragons it’s some bastard who wants to kill you to prove he’s better. Now pose.”
Opferlamm lifted her sword and struck a pose.
“Your hair is a mess,” said Wichtig. “You’re not making proper use of the light.”
“I got rained on and there is no light.” Again she wiped horse blood from her eyes where it trickled from her scalp. “And a gods-damned dragon tried to drop a horse on me.”
With a weary sigh Wichtig stood. “Look at me.”
“You look like a dragon tried to drop a horse on you too.”
Wichtig stood and struck a pose. Lightning flashed in the sky above and lit him through a hole in the roof, haloing him in blood. The door swung open as wind gusted through, ruffling his horse-guts-soaked hair, and then closed.
“See?” said Wichtig, sinking back to the floor.
Opferlamm stared at him, mouth open. “How?”
“Practice.” Wichtig kept from his face the rush of relief that it worked. He’d thought maybe these scars forever ruined him. As long as I can pose, I can have women. Maybe things weren’t so bad. Except for the dragon. Right, except for that.
“You will practice that every day,” said Wichtig.
“Do I really need that if I’m good enough with a sword?”
“If you mention how good you are one more time,” said Wichtig, “I will show you how good you are not.” He laid back, feigning nonchalance like there being a Therianthrope dragon out there dropping horses on people was normal. “Practice until you know how to make use of lightning.”
“The lightning was a fluke.”
“Was it?”
Tearing her attention from the door, Opferlamm tried another pose.
“Enough,” said Wichtig. “Next lesson.”
“Really?” Again the lass glanced at the ceiling, licking her lips.
“Pretend we’re facing off. We’re about to duel.”
Opferlamm turned to face him, sword ready. Still on the floor, Wichtig shook his head in disgust. “Put the sword away. This is a battle of words.”
“The dragon—”
“Will pick its teeth with your sword.”
Opferlamm sheathed her sword but remained standing and tense.
“I am Wichtig Lügner,” said Wichtig, “the Greatest Swordsman in the World. Every one from Unbedeutend to the Basamortuan desert knows of me. I have slain a hundred Swordsmen a thousand times better than you. Throw your sword to the ground and I won’t kill you.” He pretended to blow kisses to the girls in the crowd.
Opferlamm watched, one eyebrow raised. “I already know who you are,” said his apprentice.
“This is like trying to teach Bedeckt how to dance.” Wichtig shuffled, trying to find a more comfortable position. “Sword fighting isn’t about swords. It’s about belief and doubt. You must know you will win and your opponent must doubt themselves. Also, if you don’t first brag about your escapades, how will another Swordsman know you’re worth killing? And if you don’t hear theirs, how will you know they’re worth killing?”
“I guess that makes sense,” said Opferlamm.
“Of course it does. Your turn.”
“Uh…” She glanced again at the door.
“Ignore the sticking dragon. It’ll kill us or it won’t. Pay attention.”
“Sorry. What do I say?”
“Start by listing your kills.”
“I’ve never killed anyone.”
“Never?”
“No.”
“Then make something up. If you don’t, no Swordsman will bother killing you.”