“How so?”
She swallowed. “Masculine” and “sturdy” were the first words that popped into her head, but those were too telling, and he already had the home field advantage. “Woodsy and natural,” she finally said.
“Like an air freshener?”
A laugh sputtered out of her. “Only the best sort. The little pine trees you hang from your rearview mirror.”
His half smile was easy and charming. “How about a drink? It’s five o’clock somewhere, right?”
“Sure. Why not.”
He rubbed his hands together and quickstepped to the kitchen. He was nervous, too. The realization washed over her, and although it didn’t eliminate her nerves, the knowledge she wasn’t the only one battling worried anticipation about the next step helped her function like an adult.
“I don’t have martini supplies, I’m afraid. But I have an excellent red wine.” He held up a bottle.
“Perfect. My mom is the martini fanatic. I think she read a how-to book with steps on becoming the most eccentric retiree. Martinis and embarrassing T-shirts were top on the list.” She joined him in the kitchen and leaned a hip against the counter as he opened the wine.
Watching his hands manipulate the corkscrew bordered on foreplay. Soon those big, capable hands would be on her doing things she’d dreamed about. He shot her a look, his eyebrows raised, and as if he could read her mind, heat raced through her. Luckily, he didn’t call her on it but poured them two glasses.
She sipped the wine more out of something to do than any real desire. He led the way to the couch, sprawled in the corner, and watched her over the rim of his glass. She took her time, running her fingers along the back of the couch and making a more thorough examination.
The top magazine focused on outdoor sports; the one underneath was National Geographic. Picking a seat seemed a first test. She sat next to him but not close enough to touch.
“You’re nervous?” Amusement edged his voice and fired her ire.
“And you’re not? We’re going to—” She gestured toward the bed. “It’s been a while and what if I…” The look on his face stopped her rambling. Had she misread the situation? “Oh my god, if you don’t want to have sex then—I just assumed that—”
“Slow down, darlin’.” He grabbed her wrist when she tried to stand and pulled her back down. She landed between his legs, and her back settled against his front. “Yes, I want to have sex.”
He plucked the wineglass from her stiff fingers and set it next to his on a side table. She wanted to relax and at least give the appearance of worldliness, but the tension in her body coiled even tighter, as she waited for him to make his move.
His arm snaked around her middle and locked her tighter against his body, and his hand covered her fist. The gentle, nonaggressive brush of his fingers unlocked the tight hold and her hand unfurled and linked with his.
“I’ve never known a woman to speak as bluntly as you do.” His breath tickled the hairs at her nape and sent tingles streaking down her body. Her neck went lax and she rested her head on his shoulder, his beard bristly against her cheek.
“Take it or leave it, big guy.”
“Oh, I’m definitely keeping you. I was never good at the games women play. That’s one reason I preferred to keep things casual and simple. I took what I needed and left before anything got serious and someone got hurt.”
She would stake her life on the fact that lots of someones had probably gotten hurt. Just not Bennett. How could those women not want more?
“I don’t do casual. Noah was my first. And only.” It was both a fact and a warning and she hoped he understood. Her throat tightened, and her next words came out on a whisper. “Until you.”
His arm flexed and he breathed her name. In his voice was a command she was happy to follow. Twisting in his arms, she found his lips in a kiss that weaved them together as surely and purely as the strongest Kevlar. All of her doubts fell away, fragile and unimpressive against long-pent-up desire.
In his bed, she discovered she’d been parched for a man’s touch and surrendered to the moment. To the man. To her own need. Time was measured by the passing of light into darkness, yet she didn’t feel any desire to face reality.
Tucked against him like they were spoons, she hardly needed the blanket to keep her warm. He played with her hair, the sweetness of the gesture turning her insides to mush.
“Are you happy?” he asked.
She didn’t answer immediately, taking a quick stock of the massive changes in her life over the last months. Her mother had shoved her out of the nest, and she had found her wings. It wasn’t just Bennett; it was the business, too. Her life was fuller and more exciting than she’d imagined it could be after Noah had died.
“I’m very happy. What about you?” She turned so she could see his face.
A flash of sadness crossed his face. “I’m happier than I deserve to be.”
This time she held the questions that threatened to pierce the cocoon they’d cobbled together. The scars on his leg and hip had their own story to tell. It might take a week or a year or a decade, but she would wait for him to trust her with his secrets. What was growing between them was worth that.
She wrapped her hand around his neck and pulled him in for a fierce kiss.
“Can you spend the night?” He rolled on top of her.
She shouldn’t. Would Ben miss her in the morning? Her body arched against his answering for her. Time enough for regrets and guilt later.
“Yes, I’ll stay.”
Chapter 18
Present Day
As the sky streaked with dawn light, they made love again. The rough impatience of the night before was only slightly muted by sleep. Afterward, she pulled the sheet up, her heart and breathing decelerating.
The passion between them was raw and primal and messy. Nothing like what her experience had prepared her for. She and Noah had fumbled their way through their first time, and when they’d made love shades of that innocence remained.
Bennett wasn’t acquainted with innocence. He probably hadn’t been for a long while. Harper was older now, too, and the pain of living left only memories of who she’d been. In old pictures she recognized herself but couldn’t recall what that girl had thought and felt.
Bennett was facedown on the bed, his dark hair stark against the white pillow. She reached out and skimmed her hand down his back. He arched with her touch like an animal getting petted and turned, unconcerned with his nakedness.
Harper couldn’t keep her gaze from wandering south. Damn. The scars on his body only made him more interesting, not less attractive. He would be the perfect nude model for her mom’s painting class. Not that she was going to make the suggestion, because he was hers and hers alone. For now.
She scooched into his side and took a bite at his neck followed by a soothing kiss. Over his natural scent was something more elemental. Sex. He smelled of sex and so did she. They’d marked each other.
She didn’t regret spending the night, but the implications went far beyond mind-blowing sex. There was Ben to think about. She needed to leave and put some distance between her and temptation.
“I have to go. Ben…” Her voice was muffled by his superheated skin. The man operated a few degrees higher than her.
“I know. I’m thankful that I had you as long as I did.” He tightened his hold on her before letting go.
She wasn’t ready, but then would she ever be ready to leave him? Slipping away, she grabbed her clothes and streaked to the bathroom. He might be perfectly comfortable letting everything hang out with her, but she wasn’t.
She cleaned up and dressed, and by the time she poked her head out he was up, in jeans and a flannel shirt, puttering in the kitchen. Their gazes met, but hers tripped away, awkwardness spreading like a stain that only got worse with scrubbing.
“All I’ve got is cereal and coffee.” He gestured toward a box of bran flakes.