The club had been packed, the sensuous beat of the music loud, people dancing like pagan worshipers. She’d been shocked at first, but wanted to fit in. So she pretended she could be as cool as anyone else. Before that night, she’d never had more than one glass of champagne, and that was in celebration of Patrick’s graduation, but Shanice ordered her a sloe gin fizz. It tasted good and went down easily. It also went to her head.
One drink would have been more than enough to keep her high for the evening, but she paid for another. She danced alone, moving to the music, and then found herself in a man’s arms. She didn’t even look up at him. It was fun to dance with someone who knew how to lead and exciting to feel the rush of heat and fast pounding of her heart. She’d never felt anything like this with Patrick.
When the man asked if she wanted to leave, she knew what he meant. Pushing down all sense of right and wrong, she said yes. They barely spoke on the drive to his condo. He asked why she’d come to the club. She said she wanted to have fun. He asked if she knew the rules. She shrugged and said sure, doesn’t everybody? One night, no strings. She hadn’t thought about the rest.
Aunt Elizabeth touched Grace’s hand. “Please don’t cry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
Grace wiped tears from her cheeks. They sat in companionable silence, Samuel bouncing happily a few feet away, thankfully oblivious to adult misadventures and catastrophes.
“What about school, Grace? Do you want to go back?”
“I’ve been thinking about it.”
“You had your sights set on clinical psychology, didn’t you?”
To figure herself out? “I’d need a master’s to do anything with it, and an internship somewhere. That would all take too long. The subject still fascinates me, but I don’t think I could stay detached from patients. I’m too much of an enabler.”
“I’m glad you recognize that. It means you can change the pattern. So? What else interests you?”
Art, music, Bible studies, anthropology, sociology, biology, but she’d learned where her skills lay. “I’d major in business administration, marketing, accounting.”
“All very practical.” Aunt Elizabeth looked pleased. “Seems a perfect fit, too. You’re already in business. You could go back to UCLA. You finished that last semester on the dean’s list, didn’t you? You might even qualify for another scholarship.”
“Possibly, but I don’t want Samuel to grow up in Los Angeles. I’ve been doing some research online. Merced has a UC campus. The town has a population of less than a hundred thousand, and the rents are certainly lower than what I was paying. I could afford a one-bedroom apartment.” First thing she’d do was find a good church. “There’s another nice thing about Merced.” She gave her aunt a hopeful smile.
Aunt Elizabeth set her teacup back in the saucer, but didn’t raise her head. “What’s that?”
“It’s only an hour away from Fresno.”
“Oh.” Her aunt’s smile trembled. “Enough distance so you’ll have a full life of your own, and still close enough to be part of mine.”
“My thoughts exactly.”
Grace stayed two more days before heading north.
Saturday night, Grace made online reservations for an affordable Merced hotel and set up Monday appointments to see available apartments in her price range. She and Aunt Elizabeth attended the early service. Miranda had been by the house to visit twice, and declared herself in love with Samuel. She met them at the sanctuary door and took him from Grace’s arms. “He’ll be with me in the nursery. That way you can relax and enjoy the service.”
“Now, wait just a minute.” Aunt Elizabeth looked annoyed to have Rapscal snatched away.
Miranda just laughed. “I’ll give him back, Beth. It’s only an hour. Honestly, you could learn to share.” And off she went.
Grace hadn’t been inside this church since Patrick left her. She’d been embarrassed to face these friends after the collapse of her marriage. What must they think of her?
“You needn’t worry, Grace.” Aunt Elizabeth gave her an understanding glance. “The only difference between most of the people inside these walls and the outside world is we know we’re sinners. Chin up, my girl.”
My girl. Her aunt had never called her that before. She had the feeling if anyone did slight her, ask a nosy question, or make a cruel remark, that person would come up against Elizabeth Walker’s slicing wit.
Pastor Andrew greeted her with a welcoming hug. “Miranda told me you’re moving north to Merced.” He recommended an independent Christian church. “An old friend of mine just retired and turned the pulpit over to a millennial on fire to reach his generation. Give it a try.” He had written all the needed information on the back of his card. “And keep in touch.” He gave her a fatherly kiss on the cheek.
There were new faces among the familiar. “The congregation’s growing.”
“Trouble in one of the larger churches,” her aunt told her. “The new pastor swept house over the last two years. Anyone who questioned his authority and message was pushed out the door. They came and settled here. I went once to hear the man preach. Dynamic speaker, a leader of men, but Jesus had left the building. The lady over there, Charlotte, has started a women’s Bible study. And that gentleman over there, Michael, now teaches a couples’ class. Remember how they had to draft you to teach Sunday school? Well, we now have several seasoned teachers who delight in Miranda’s Sunday school program. What that congregation lost, God planted here. He gave us the people we needed.”
This church felt as much like home as the bigger, more charismatic one she’d attended in Los Angeles. She knew God would have a church home for her in Merced. She’d already packed the car, intending to leave early, until Aunt Elizabeth asked her to come to church with her. Grace hadn’t been sure she would be welcome after such a long absence and since her divorce. She should have known better.
“Thank you for making me go,” Grace said on the drive back to the house.
Aunt Elizabeth looked over. “The longer you stay away, the more excuses keep you away. There might be a few people who think they’re holier than thou, but the rest love you and wanted a chance to let you know.”
When Grace pulled in next to the curb and stopped, her aunt opened the door. “Have a safe trip.”
Grace spoke quickly before her aunt could escape. “I love you very much. Thank you for the last few days.”
Her aunt’s shoulders drooped slightly, and she didn’t look at Grace. “Call me when you get settled in your new home.” She got out of the car without a word or look for Samuel. Grace leaned down and watched her aunt walk up the path, open the front door, and close it behind her. She wondered if she’d ever understand Elizabeth Walker.
It was an easy one-hour drive to Merced. The hotel was far less impressive than the one Roman had booked on the trip they took, but it was clean, close to the freeway, and offered a complimentary breakfast. Grace took Samuel for a long ride around town, wasting gas but getting acquainted with the streets, parks, UC campus. She ate at a small café, Samuel in his car seat next to her.
Back at the hotel, she settled Samuel in the playpen while she worked at her computer. Later, she tucked him into bed with her. Facing so many changes in her life, Grace had trouble sleeping. What was Roman doing right now? Working in his upstairs studio? Out at a club? He’d probably hired her replacement within days. She looked at the digital clock. Two in the morning.
Samuel awakened with the dawn and wanted to play. Grace dragged herself out of bed and got ready for the busy day ahead.
The first apartment would have worked perfectly, but the manager said the landlord was unlikely to rent to an unemployed, single mother. He asked if she qualified for welfare. She told him she had an online business. Questions followed, and she answered honestly.
The manager shook his head. “A start-up, you mean, and we all know how few last. Good luck, Ms. Moore. You’re going to need it.”