To paraphrase, The Pact was created for three reasons: first, to establish a clear set of definitions that can be used to understand and discuss the contract of marriage; second, to establish rules and regulations for the marriage participants to adhere to, designed to strengthen the marriage contract and ensure success (“knowing the rules and regulations provides a clear, defined map and lights the path to happiness”); and third, to establish a community of individuals who share a common goal and desire to help each other achieve their individual goal—a successful marriage—which in turn strengthens the group. From those principles, everything else is supposed to flow logically.
According to The Manual, The Pact has no agenda beyond that which is laid out in the mission statement. Nor does it have a political message. It does not discriminate based on ethnicity, national origin, gender, or sexual orientation.
Part One also outlines how new members are located, selected, and approved. New couples are chosen based upon their ability to bring something “unique, individual, and supportive to the community as a whole.” Each Pact member with a minimum of five years is allowed to nominate one new couple for the approval process every two years. An Impartial Investigator is then appointed, who provides a thorough packet on the nominees. The Admittance Committee bases its decision to reject or approve the nomination upon the packet. The nominees cannot be informed of their nomination unless and until they are successfully approved for membership. Those couples rejected for entry never know of The Pact or their unsuccessful nomination.
Not surprisingly, from the look of her copy Alice is more drawn to the sections related to rules and regulations. She has left the book open to Rule 3.5, Gifts.
Every member is required to provide one gift to his or her spouse each calendar month. A gift is defined as a special, unexpected item or action that shows care of selection and/or execution. The gift is primarily intended to demonstrate the central, respected, and cherished role that the spouse inhabits in the member’s life. The gift should also demonstrate a unique understanding of the spouse, his or her interests, and the current state of the spouse’s desires. A gift need not be expensive or rare; its sole requirement is that it be meaningful.
Each regulation is accompanied by a corresponding notation under Penalties. For Gifts, 3.5b, the penalty is as follows:
Failure to provide a gift during a calendar month should be treated as a Class 3 Misdemeanor. Failure to provide gifts in two consecutive months should be treated as a Class 2 Misdemeanor. Failure to provide three or more gifts in a single calendar year should be treated as a Class 5 Felony.
That evening, home from work, Alice kicks off her shoes and stockings and skirt in the usual order, leaving a trail of clothes down the hallway, and changes into sweatpants before grabbing the book and retreating to the bedroom to read. She often reads after she gets home from work. It’s her ritual, her downtime. Half an hour later, like clockwork, she comes into the kitchen, ready to cook dinner together. I wait for her to mention her reading material, but she never does. I think we’re both hesitant to talk about The Pact, the weird experience with Vivian, the whole thing, simply because we’re trying to wrap our minds around it. At first it would have been easy to dismiss the entire thing as strange, to mock it, but I think we’ve realized that wouldn’t be entirely fair. The goal of The Pact—to create a good, strong marriage with the support of other, like-minded individuals—is both admirable and desirable.
The next morning, I wander into the kitchen to find Alice gone and, once again, the chaos of paper, an empty coffee cup, and a half-eaten bowl of Rice Chex, her usual scoop of Ovaltine still floating on top. In the middle of the table, however, is a small package, gift-wrapped in paper emblazoned with dancing penguins. She has written my name in gold ink on a white card taped to the package. Inside, I find the world’s coolest spatula. Orange on top, my favorite color, and yellow on the bottom. The label says MADE IN SUOMI, in English and again in Finnish. Not necessarily expensive, but perfect, and possibly quite difficult to find. I turn over the card. You make the world’s best chocolate chip cookies, my wife has written. And I love you.
After opening the spatula, I immediately take a photo of myself, mostly clothed, holding it up, smiling. I email it to Alice with just three words, Love you too. When I make a batch of cookies using the spatula that night, neither of us mentions the connection to The Pact or its regulations.
Even though I’m still not entirely sure what we’ve gotten ourselves into, I’m happy that Alice is embracing The Pact. I understand that her acceptance of The Pact is proof that she is also embracing our marriage.
In the days that follow, I want to show her that I too am willing to accept The Pact and, more important, am equally committed to making our marriage work. So I dive more deeply into The Manual. Section 3.8 is entitled Travel.
While home is the sanctuary of a good marriage, travel is also essential. Travel allows a relationship the sun and space to grow in a more conducive environment. Travel allows partners to grow together through shared experiences. Travel allows spouses to reveal different sides of themselves outside of the context of everyday life. Travel can be rejuvenating for individuals, and shared travel can be rejuvenating for a marriage.
3.8a: Each member must plan one joint trip each quarter. Trip should be defined as travel away from home for a period of no less than thirty-six hours. Members should not be accompanied by individuals, friends, family, or other associates. While most travel should include only spouses, travel with other members of The Pact is acceptable and even encouraged. Travel need not be expensive, distant, or prolonged.
3.8b(1): Penalty: Failure of a member to plan at least one trip during a nine-month period should be considered a Class 2 Misdemeanor. Failure to plan at least one trip during a twelve-month period should be considered a Class 5 Felony.
I can’t help chuckling at the language. A misdemeanor? The Pact seems to make it awfully easy to get in trouble. Nonetheless, I can see how honoring the travel rule would make for more excitement in the marriage, so I set about planning my first trip under the definitions of The Pact.
Four nights after receiving the spatula, while Alice is getting ready for bed, I sneak into the kitchen and place an envelope with her name on the table. The envelope contains the details of the trip I’ve planned—a weekend at Twain Harte in the Sierra Nevadas. The cabin I’ve rented doesn’t have an address, just a name, the Mountain Ruby. Stapled to the rental agreement is a photo of the view from Mountain Ruby’s front window: miles of blue lake stretching toward the snowy mountain peaks.
16
Alice and I are both busy with work and Christmas shopping. December 14 comes sooner than expected.