But then I look into his eyes, and he looks like my husband again, the man who slow-danced with me at the top of Stone Mountain with a dozen tourists watching, who slid rings up my fingers and thanked me when I said “I do,” who, the last time I saw him, asked me for a little girl who looked just like me. I see him, and I remember the way he used to be, the way we used to be, and my heart breaks all over again.
He kisses me and I let him. No—it’s more than that. He kisses me, and I put thirty-three days of heartache and confusion and relief into the way I kiss him back. It’s like a first kiss and last kiss and all the kisses in between, and suddenly, I can’t come up with a single reason for fighting it, this last goodbye between me and Will. I can’t muster even the tiniest pang from this gnarled and painful past month. He wants me. I want him back. I have no fight left.
I take him by the hand, pull him off the couch and lead him upstairs. We lose our clothing on the way, dropping piles of cotton and denim on the stairs, the landing runner, the floor by the bed—our bed.
When we’re both naked, he lays me down on the mattress, taking me in with tenderness, with reverence, with love. He runs the back of a finger over the ring—his ring—on a chain on my chest. “Beautiful girl.”
I hold up my arms in answer, in invitation.
We make love, and it feels like the most natural thing in the world, and also the most heartbreaking. How many times have we lain here just like this, sweet and salty and familiar? A couple thousand, at least.
And yet this time will be our last.
His mouth is on the move, traveling over my skin. Pressing kisses onto my neck, my breasts, loving every inch of me. I feel the orgasm building, swirling, circling just out of reach, and I close my eyes, fist the sheets in both hands and wait for it.
Maybe it’s about revenge, about me wanting to hurt Will in the same way he hurt me, about repaying his betrayal with a betrayal of my own. Maybe it’s about justice, plain and simple, about holding Will accountable for the fire and the money and the innocent lives shattered. Or maybe it’s a combination of both. My reasons may be muddled, but my next move is crystal clear. I don’t for a second doubt that it’s the right one.
I open my eyes, and my husband is moving above me. His head is tipped back, his cheeks slack and eyes squeezed shut with pleasure, and I know from all the times before that this is a critical moment. His critical moment. It will last another handful of breaths, at least.
I reach around to the back of my nightstand, push the panic button and hold it.
Three seconds, that’s all it takes.
*
Keep reading for an excerpt from THE ONES WE TRUST by Kimberly Belle.
Acknowledgments
Writing is a solitary venture, but this book wouldn’t exist without the following folks.
My literary agent, Nikki Terpilowski, who never sugarcoats what needs to be fixed in the manuscript but says it in words that make me smile. Thank you for always being in my corner.
My editor, Liz Stein, for loving this story and taking it on as your own. Your brilliance and tenacity helped shape The Marriage Lie into what it is today. And to all the hardworking and dedicated people behind the scenes at MIRA Books, I’m blessed to be on your team.
Laura Drake, critique partner extraordinaire, and early readers Koreen Myers, Colleen Oakley and Alexandra Ratcliff. Andrea Peskind Katz, you were right. You are an excellent beta reader, and you volunteered yourself right to the top of my list.
Scott Masterson, whose voice I heard in my head whenever Evan spoke. Thanks for answering my silly questions and for feeding me one of Evan’s best lines.
The fabulous ladies of Altitude, my early readers and cheerleaders: Nancy Davis, Marquette Dreesch, Angelique Kilkelly, Jen Robinson, Amanda Sapra and Tracy Willoughby. Seeing you girls is the best day of the month.
My parents, Diane and Bob Maleski, for their never-ending encouragement and thoughtful feedback. I hope this one makes you proud.
And lastly, my very favorite people on the planet. Isabella, you are a master at coming up with plot twists. Are you sure you don’t want to be a writer? Ewoud and Evan, thank you for your patience and encouragement, and sorry about all the takeout. You three have my heart.
About the Author
Kimberly Belle is the author of The Last Breath, The Ones We Trust and The Marriage Lie. She holds a bachelor of arts degree from Agnes Scott College and has worked in fund-raising for nonprofits at home and abroad. She divides her time between Atlanta and Amsterdam.
THE
MARRIAGE
LIE
Kimberly Belle
Reader’s Guide
Questions for Discussion
After the crash, Iris discovers pretty quickly that her husband had been keeping deep secrets from her. Consider his reasoning for not telling Iris the truth. Is it ever necessary or justifiable to lie to someone you love? How much is too much to hide from a partner?
Does Iris bear any of the blame for accepting her husband’s secrecy about his past? Should she have spotted the holes in his stories sooner in their relationship? In what ways could Iris have been lying to herself?
When Iris discovers that Will had a disadvantaged youth in Seattle, she begins to have a better understanding of his need to own a home that would essentially make them house poor. In what other ways do you think his past difficulties affected the life he built with Iris?
Do you think Will is a sympathetic character? Do you believe he became a good man, one who had truly left his past sins behind? Is it possible to completely leave the past behind and become a “changed person,” so to speak? To what extent does a person’s past influence or define one’s future?
Iris’s job as a psychologist plays a pivotal role in her life and in her beliefs, yet she doesn’t see her husband’s true nature. Why do you think this is? Is love really that blind, or does Iris only see what she wants to see? Have you ever turned the other way and chosen to ignore something? Explain why.
Iris has a special bond with one of her students, Ava, a beautiful teenager who, despite all her wealth and advantages, still can’t find happiness. What do you think the author’s purpose was in creating this character? How does Ava’s message relate back to the story of Iris and Will?
After the crash, Iris finds a friend in Evan Sheffield. Do you think, had they met in other circumstances, that they would have become friends? Or was their friendship a result of their shared trauma and grief? How do you imagine their relationship playing out a year down the road? Five years?
Did the truth about Corban surprise you? If not, at what point did you begin to suspect his character?
Iris says to Will, “I should hate you. I want to hate you. I want to be physically ill because I’m sitting in the same room as you, but I’m not. I don’t. I still love you and I despise myself for it.” Can you understand how she feels? Have you ever loved and hated someone at the same time?
In the last scene, even though Iris’s reasons for pushing the panic button aren’t clear in her mind, she is positive it’s the right thing to do. Do you agree? Would you have done the same in her position? In what ways does pushing that button give Iris closure?