He went to see Will. He still hadn’t had a minute alone with his friend. Either Will was asleep or in pain, or his parents were there, or Lucky. But right now he was alone, staring out the window, his heavily bandaged hand on his chest.
“What’s up, asshole,” Erik said, putting a bottle of pineapple juice on the bedside table. Will glanced at it and his mouth briefly formed a smile.
“Don’t steal my line,” he said.
“How do you feel?” Erik asked.
“Like I got shot. How do you feel?”
Erik breathed in and out. “Changed,” he said.
Will nodded.
Erik sat in the chair next to the bed. “How bad does your side hurt?”
“Percoset’s a beautiful thing.”
“How about the hand?”
Will held it up, letting Erik see it from both sides. “This is going to make jerking off difficult.”
“You’re a lefty?”
“Isn’t everyone?”
Erik laughed, but Will didn’t join in. He watched Erik with troubled eyes.
“Is Daisy awake? I mean… Does she know?”
Erik nodded.
“Bad?”
Erik shook his head. “Not good.”
Will closed his eyes, let his head fall back on the pillow. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“Sorry for what?”
Will turned his head toward the window. “I know why I was shot. But why he had to…put a bullet in her—”
“Hey,” Erik said, putting a hand on Will’s arm. “Hey. Look at me.”
Will breathed in and looked back.
“You talk to the police?” Erik asked.
“Yeah. A little last night but I was kind of loopy.”
“Kind of? You were stoned.”
“You saw me?”
“I came in. You don’t remember?”
“No.”
“You kissed me.”
Will’s eyes widened. “Did I really?”
“No.”
His face twisted. “Asshole. Anyway, the detective. Kary?”
“Khoury.”
“Right. He came back today and I told him everything.”
“Everything?”
“Everything. I know you tried to cover my sleeping with James and I appreciate it, Fish. God, I love you for it. You’re my fucking best friend. But I wanted it all out there. If we try to hide shit it’ll only come back and bite us in the ass. And hide it for what? Because it will somehow justify what he did? He had no right…”
Erik nodded.
Will looked away. “But I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry, Fish. I told you I’d take care of it. And you trusted me not to let Dais get hurt. You told me you trusted my hands.”
“Stop,” Erik whispered. He’d never seen Will like this. Inside-out. Frantic and fretful. Sure of nothing.
“It’s killing me,” Will said. He rolled his lips in and his eyes squeezed shut. “What they had to do to her leg. And when I think about how I dropped her—”
“Dude, you were shot. He took your fingers off.”
“I dropped her.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It is, Fish. He was coming after me.”
“If he was coming solely after you he would’ve shot you and only you. He was on a tear. He shot his way through the wings and killed five people. He shot Daisy. He shot Marie and Kees. He almost shot me.”
Will looked at him, his mouth working hard to hold back the emotion. “You stopped him.” The tears rising up in his dark eyes began to spill down his face. “I watched you talk to him. You don’t know, Fish. You don’t know what I…”
“I do know.” Erik got out of the chair, moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Will tried to sit up but grimaced in pain. Erik came to him instead, leaned and held Will’s forehead against his collarbone and let him cry. “I do know,” he said. “And it wasn’t your fault.”
“I’m sorry,” Will whispered between sobs.
“It’s all right,” Erik said. “It wasn’t your fault. It’s gonna be all right.”
He made his hands heavy and soothing and calm. Not rubbing or patting Will to make light of the vulnerable moment, nor thumping his back to couch it in masculinity.