I curl my arms around my head, resting my forehead against my knees. I want to block out my thoughts, because everything going through my head is just making me panic more; and once I start I won’t be able to stop, and then I’ll be hidden in the dark in the stores in my nightdress, unable to breathe.
Why didn’t he chase me? Why did he just stand there and let me go? After all the effort he took to sneak up to my ship while I was sleeping and catch me unawares. Why did he let me get away like that?
Because he doesn’t need to chase me. There’s nowhere I can run to escape him. We’re on a ship in the middle of space. He’s got me trapped.
I wonder what he’s doing, whether he’s even looking for me. An image of him searching through my things slithers into my brain. He could be poking his fingers in my hairbrush, touching my handmade clothes, stroking my teddy bear, toying with my models, eating my strawberry jam…
I can’t help but let out a horrified sob.
Why is he doing this to me? Why me?
How did he even get sent on this mission? Surely NASA must have put him through some kind of … sanity test? How did someone like him manage to be chosen for the second ever deep-space mission?
My mind goes round in circles, thinking over everything until I can’t think any more. Eventually, I close my eyes.
HOURS SINCE THE ETERNITY CAUGHT UP:
1
I’m halfway towards a kind of exhausted sleep when I hear a crackle. Every muscle in my body tenses, wondering what is coming next.
A voice echoes across the cavernous stores.
“Hello, Romy.”
I bring my hands to my mouth to hold in a gasp. It’s impossibly loud. It’s like his voice is all around me. Where is he?
“I found the intercom.”
I didn’t even know there was an intercom. I press my head against the wall, half in relief that he isn’t here in person, half in increased fear. He can talk to me whenever he wants. He can torment me for twenty-four hours a day.
“I’m sorry I scared you. I thought –” he lets out a laugh, short and obviously fake, crackling over the speakers – “that it would be a nice surprise for you, for me to arrive early.”
I want to push my fingers into my ears, to block out the sound of his voice, but I can’t. I need to know what he says.
“I can understand why you ran. But it’s OK, you can come out now. I’m not going to hurt you. You know me. I only want what’s best for you. I just want to say hello, after all this talking by email!”
He pauses, for long enough that I think it’s over. When he speaks again, it makes me jump. His voice is low, almost inaudible.
“There’s no need to rush, though. Take your time. I’m going to sleep now.”
Then there’s a crackle as the intercom shuts off.
Is he in my bed? The thought makes me feel like I’m covered in bugs, a literal itch on my skin.
Does he still think I don’t know? How can he possibly think I haven’t guessed, after I cut short his call? After I ran away from him?
How can he believe there’s anything he can say that’ll make me come out?
What am I going to do?
What am I going to do?
I can only stay here until my thirst makes me leave the stores in search of water. I have a day, maybe less. Long enough to come up with a plan. Probably.
Right now I don’t believe there’s any way I can win.
I curl up on the floor, rest my head on a lasagne tray and close my eyes. I take deep breaths in and out, pretending to myself that I’m asleep and not actually straining my ears for the slightest sound, or braced for action, on the edge of a panic attack.
After an hour, my muscles ache from the tension.
HOURS SINCE THE ETERNITY CAUGHT UP:
5
He gives me four hours, and then the intercom begins again. His voice is light and soft, almost a whisper.
“Good morning, Romy. Did you sleep well?” There’s a pause, as if he’s expecting me to answer.
I shiver, but not from the cold.
“Please come out?” His voice suddenly turns into a gentle croon. “I miss you. I miss our conversations.”
Another pause. Then, “Please. I’ve waited so long to meet you.”
I bury my face in my hands, wishing I was less scared so that I could cry.
HOURS SINCE THE ETERNITY CAUGHT UP:
9
He doesn’t stop pleading with me all morning. His voice has taken over my brain. It’s worse than any nightmare.
“You’re killing me here. If you don’t come out, I don’t know what I’ll do. I might hurt myself. I’m in so much pain…”
His voice grates at me, tearing away shreds of my control until I’m a fearful wreck. He’s got me surrounded, wrapped up in his words. He’s squeezing me tighter until I want to explode just to get free of the pressure. I can’t escape.
I can’t even stop listening.
HOURS SINCE THE ETERNITY CAUGHT UP:
13
“Please just talk to me, Romy. Say something. I need to hear your voice. I’m worried you’ve hurt yourself.”
I wonder what he’s doing – whether he’s looking for me, wandering around my ship while he talks into the intercom. He could be doing anything, and there’s no way I could stop him.
HOURS SINCE THE ETERNITY CAUGHT UP:
17
“Romy, you’re being very silly. It’s rude to ignore me like this.”
I lie on my back and stare up at the crack between the wall and the edge of the stacks, where a greyish tinge of light encroaches on the blackness. My mouth tastes of bile and iron and mucus and salt.
HOURS SINCE THE ETERNITY CAUGHT UP:
19
“Don’t you trust me? Do you think I’m going to hurt you?”
I’m going to die. This is it. I have to accept it. I have no plan; no way of escaping him. Nothing to do except go to him.
“Come out, Romy.”
Why shouldn’t I? I’m just delaying the inevitable, hiding here like a coward instead of facing my worst fear.
Right?
HOURS SINCE THE ETERNITY CAUGHT UP:
23
His voice is rough now, after hours of murmuring and begging. All of the kindness and gentleness is gone.
“I’m going to give you one last chance to come out, Romy. And then I’m coming to find you.”
I press my palms into my eyes and bite down on a scream. I can’t face him. He’s going to kill me. And he knows I know – he’s not even pretending any more. He’s coming.
I can’t blink for fear.
He won’t find me, whatever he says. He can’t, not here. It’s impossible.
I’m safe, I know I am.
My face is wet with tears.
He can’t—
There’s a noise.
The stacks all shift like they’re falling, and I think for a moment I must have knocked into one and set off an avalanche, but then I see the light. It flickers across my hiding place, sending shadows dancing.
It gets brighter and brighter until a hand bursts through the boxes, then an arm and a head.
The head turns slowly, so slowly.
J looks at me. He smiles.
I catch sight of his wide grin before he shines his torch directly at me. It’s so bright that I’m blinded. That kick-starts me. I throw myself backwards along the side of the ship, straining to see past the bright spots in my vision.
A shadow lunges at me. Fingers grasp at my kneecap, skittering over bare skin and clasping around my calf.