We hadn’t spoken all week, other than when I texted to ask her to join me on our trip, and it was good. Showing Riley constant attention would give her the wrong idea about the two of us. Sure, we got along more than I had with most women. Her company was preferable to even most men’s. There was a lightness that she brought to the table. But that didn’t change things. Dating for me was still merely fun. Once it started becoming anything other than that, things inevitably had to end. And swiftly.
I closed my laptop with a click and began to pack my briefcase. Friday afternoon wasn’t usually a cause for celebration for me since my life didn’t typically follow the customs associated with the days of the week. I worked every day and celebrated every night, whether it was Wednesday or Sunday.
This was the first Friday I’d had in a long time that felt… average. There was a lightness in my chest as I left the office and took the elevator down to the ground floor. I knew I wasn’t the only one feeling this way. When I’d told Kenneth to take the whole weekend off, he nearly danced a jig. For the most part, he was on call every day but Sunday. Getting the opportunity to go crazy for the weekend was a treat for him.
Since beating the rush hour traffic out of the city was of utmost importance, I’d had my BMW brought over for me. I set my briefcase next to my weekend bag in the trunk and took off for Brooklyn.
When I pulled up to Riley’s brownstone, she sat on the stoop in a yellow and white sundress, almost looking like she’d come right off the farm. The sight instantly made my dick stir.
Apparently, I had a thing for farm girls. It was the first I’d heard of it, but it was also completely fine with me.
I pulled into a parking spot a few doors down from Riley’s building. She met me halfway, a backpack slung over one shoulder.
“Hi,” she breathlessly said as I wrapped my arm around her waist.
I took in a deep breath and inhaled vanilla. “You ready to go?”
She practically beamed. “Absolutely.”
Just as we climbed into the car, my phone buzzed with a text message from Eric, Enigma’s manager.
Dana lost the key to the new lock box. Are you near?
“Shit,” I hissed.
Riley looked at me with worried eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“I have to stop by the club.” I clenched my hand around the steering wheel and flexed my fingers. “Sorry. One of the staff lost the key to the drop box. I need to take mine over there.”
“Oh. Well, it happens. We don’t have to be at the retreat at a certain time, do we?”
I laughed. “You’re so positive about it.”
She grinned. “Probably because I’m about to go away for the weekend with a hot guy.”
I squeezed her knee. “Now you’re making me feel better.”
The drive back to Manhattan killed serious time, but Riley entertained me with stories from her week. It was still broad daylight out as we pulled onto Enigma’s block. I checked out the sidewalk with hesitation and lucked out when a car pulled away from the curb, leaving me their spot. I parallel parked the BMW and hopped out. “I’ll be back in two seconds,” I promised Riley.
I didn’t wait for her answer. I walked across the sidewalk and rushed inside. The club was opening in thirty minutes, which meant the whole staff — and maybe Julian and Seth — were already inside. Pushing the second door open, I took a furtive look around the room. Eric was nowhere to be seen, but Julian stood onstage talking to one of the dancers.
“Hey!” I called.
He met me halfway across the floor.
“Give this to Eric.” I tossed him the key and turned to go.
“What’s the rush?”
I paused, but only half turned to face him. “Nothing.”
Julian’s eyes squinted. “You’re running out of here like there’s a fire.”
“I need to beat traffic.”
“It’s too late for that.” He crossed his arms and smiled in amusement. “Who is this girl you’re going away with, anyway?”
“No one,” I quickly said. “Just a girl I met the other week.”
“Anyone I know?”
“Probably not.”
I braced myself, waiting for him to ask if he’d get first dibs once she went on the list. Julian and I possessed similar tastes in women, and he had no problem with sharing them. Even though he was my closest friend, it didn’t change the protective instincts I had when it came to Riley. I didn’t want anyone touching her. Not even after I was done doing so.
“All right. Have fun.” He waved two fingers at me in a goodbye and went back to the stage. My shoulders relaxed. Riley, for the time being, was still fully mine.
I headed for the door again, but something was different. My palms were sweating, and the air in the club seemed thicker, more putrid.
Riley had to go on the list eventually. I knew that, and I wasn’t against it. At least most of me wasn’t. A small, irrational part of me wanted to keep her hidden, wanted to keep her off the list even after I was done seeing her. It was why I didn’t want Julian or the other two guys seeing us together. Once the others knew I’d screwed and released Riley, she would be fair game.
The trip to Connecticut was tedious, but just like the one from Brooklyn to Manhattan, Riley made it worthwhile with her stories. She told me about going on house calls with her vet parents and spending her high school summers biking to Coney Island with her girlfriends.
“It took hours each way,” she explained, “but it was worth it. My parents always thought I was at Ann-Marie’s and her parents always thought she was over at my house.”
“What did you do once you got there?”
She laughed. “Mostly sat on the beach since we were so exhausted.”
I took a turn off the interstate and glided onto a much more scenic highway. We were close to the small retreat I booked us a room at, but still had about thirty more minutes of driving time. “I’m trying to picture you disobeying your parents and riding off into the sunset.”
“And how’s it going?”
“Honestly… I can’t see it.”
“What? You don’t think I have a sense of adventure?”
“No,” I slowly answered, making sure to give some time to my response. It was the freewheeling component of the story that didn’t make sense to me. The Riley I’d come to know was hesitant, not quick to make her own decisions.
As if reading my mind, Riley sighed. “I guess I was a little braver then. I did what I wanted to do. I didn’t want someone else, even my parents, to give me permission.”
I could hear real sadness in her voice. It squeezed my chest so tight it became hard to breathe. “What changed that?”
She nibbled on her lip while giving it some thought. “Nothing big happened. I think I just started to grow up, and along with that came being more careful.”
“Or more questioning yourself.”
She turned her face to me, looking for further explanation.
“It’s one thing to be careful,” I told her. “It’s another to shoot yourself in the foot because you can’t make your own choices or stand up for yourself.”
Her shoulders slumped a little bit, and she turned to look out the window. Her voice turned small and almost defeated sounding. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”