The List

“So, this Linc was my half-brother and Worth’s as well?”


“Yes, although he had your eyes, he looked almost identical to Worth. In fact, he masqueraded as Worth on several occasions and caused Worth a great deal of money and embarrassment. I made the mistake of giving him the family farm and your mother moved in with him.”

“Do you have a picture of him, Margaret?” I asked.

“As a matter of fact, I do. It was from the Derby party you threw and to which he was invited.” She drew her wallet out of her purse and leafed through the inserts until she came to it. She handed it to me.

I felt my heart stop when I saw the picture. It triggered flashbacks and memories flooded in on their own river of poison. The revulsion I’d been feeling was toward Linc — not Worth! “May I keep this for a day or two, Margaret?” I begged. “I’ll get a copy made and have the original returned to you.”

“Don’t bother,” she said. “Not really sure why I carried it. He was no blood to me and I never look at it with any kind of fondness. Keep it.”

I pressed my fingers against my temples, trying to steady myself as new thoughts and memories continued to swirl through my mind. It was like a physical assault. “I can’t thank you enough for coming today, Margaret,” I managed to say through the emotion clogging my throat. “You’ve opened the floodgates and I remember what I couldn’t figure out before. You may have just saved my marriage.”

Joy and relief combined on Margaret’s face. “Good! Then it was worth the risk. Your father didn’t want me to come. He thought it was too soon and that it might harm you to think of those days. They weren’t pretty, that’s for sure.”

“Tell Dad I love him for protecting me, but that you coming to see me has just saved a family. I want to think about this a few days, get back all the pieces, and then I’ll go and see Worth. I’ll fix this. I promise you.”

Margaret nodded, satisfied. She stood up and came over to hug me. It felt good to be held in a mother’s embrace. I vowed to do this for Ford a thousand times a year. “Thank you for coming,” I said as I opened the door for her. “That was a very unselfish thing to do; to relive all of that for my sake. I appreciate it very much.”

“Take care, Auggie,” she warned me. “Worth is a valuable prize, even if I am his mother. Don’t wait too long and let him go.”

I nodded and closed the door behind her. I had so much to think about.





CHAPTER TWENTY TWO


Auggie


Margaret had opened a great many hidden doors for me. I knew now why Worth felt threatening. It wasn’t him; it was the memory of Linc. I laid in bed that night and tried to summon back anything I could think of about Linc. It worked. It fell into my conscious like shattered glass and each shard cut me. It wasn’t just Linc. It was the betrayal of my mother and the threat the two of them had posed against Ford. I realized they had also threatened Worth, even though at the time, I thought Worth was betraying me too. Actually, he was at work with his own scheme which worked far better than mine.

I still had another problem. While I was separating Worth from Linc, I still hadn’t rediscovered the feelings of love for Worth. It wasn’t his fault. It was simply a reality of whatever was controlling my brain.

Now, however, I had time and space and hopefully, the feelings would return. I fell asleep with a sense of being enclosed in warm, strong arms and being told I was loved. That was powerful medicine.

***

I watched the days of fall drop into winter from my perch above the streets. One by one, the buildings put out their Christmas finery, lighting the night sky like so many colored bead necklaces. As a rule, I didn’t like winter, but this one had been warmer than normal and I was still able to get around with nothing more than a light jacket.

By day, I visited with old friends, spent hours in the library reading and by night I crocheted hats and scarves from yarn I picked out in the craft stores. I signed up for some crafting classes and invited some of the people I’d met to the condo for a ladies’ night get together. Some of my girlfriends from school played poker or bunco at one another’s houses. I did my part and learned to laugh again.

One day, I got the wild notion that I needed a makeover and settled myself into the city’s top salon. I didn’t want short hair but settled for a long angled cut that made me look far more sophisticated. Of course this called for a new wardrobe and I indulged myself even further.

Through all these weeks, I never saw Worth. Margaret brought Ford over every two weeks when he had a weekend off. We spent this time having fun, taking in movies, playing video games and, one night, we had a pajama party on the floor with sleeping bags and horror movies. We laughed in a way I’d never laughed before and the bond between mother and son strengthened. This time on my own was restoring my inner confidence and teaching me that there was always joy if you looked for it.

I found a car dealership and bought myself a sleek, black convertible with white leather interior trimmed in red. I knew it was a lousy time of year for a convertible, but it didn’t seem to matter. I was doing away with the rules and embracing the options of being an adult female with a nice income and my health. There were so many blessings to be counted.

It was between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I woke up one morning and knew I was ready. I tapped his number and he answered on the second ring.

“Hello, Auggie.”

I melted a little inside when I heard his voice. “Hello, Worth. It’s good to hear your voice.”

“Not as good as it is to hear yours.” The deep timbre of his voice made me shiver and I knew he wanted to say more, but couldn’t. He was in full control of himself. “How have you been?”

“I thought we might meet for a late lunch and talk a little. Do you have time?”

“Of course. Where would you like to meet?”

“Don’t laugh, but at the Hilton,” I said, reminding him of all the times we’d gone to the Hilton before. I heard him catch his breath and he sounded choked when he answered.

“See you there in the bar at two?”

“See you.” I hung up and started getting ready.

Worth