The three of us sat in the car for a moment, but I don’t remember why. Maybe Trent was on his phone or picking a radio station or just waiting for the car to cool down. My eyes closed in a sleepy way that only a day in the sun can do to you. I tried not to think about whatever Gina and Trent had discussed for twenty minutes at the pavilion. You wanted to roll down the windows, and Trent said it was “too damn hot.” Whether it was all the waiting or the sleepiness, I never fastened my seat belt.
Once we were on the road, we sang along to the radio. Not the Eagles, but some old band he loved. They sang “You Shook Me All Night Long,” and he went on about how vinyls were back and he wished the Yaris had a turntable. I knew the words to the chorus, but you two knew every verse. I think I gave you shit about it. Do you remember that? Or did I make it up?
After the song ended, Trent brought up St. Augustine and the Fountain of Youth Park. He said he was in an explorer mood.
I said, “Let’s go tomorrow,” and he said, “Bright and early, Sadie May. I’ll knock on the window.”
“Really?”
He nodded, and I remember thinking, He’s serious. We’re actually going to road-trip.
“I’ll text Gina and Gray and tell them to take off work.”
“Yep,” he said, and that made me feel better. Whatever happened between him and Gina at the pavilion wasn’t too serious. Yet. The next day we’d all hop in the Yaris and head east to St. Augustine. I closed my eyes and made up a story about us finding the real fountain of youth when we were old and in our thirties. It was probably in some swamp in the Everglades, but we’d have a helluva time looking.
“I think I’m gonna go see if Callahan will let me ride the motorcycle later,” he said.
That felt like code-talk to me. “You want me to go with you?” I asked.
“Maybe. I could use some Sadie May perspective.”
“As you wish.”
I know I said that because Trent loved The Princess Bride, and he always gave me a goofy grin when I quoted the movie. Then, I fell asleep. The next thing I remember was our car swerving to the right.
My eyes snapped open. Gina and Gray were stalled out in front of us. My heart rocketed from sixty to a thousand beats, and I grabbed the door handle.
“Hold on,” Trent told us.
I screamed.
I never saw the tree.
The Yaris screamed. Metal on bark.
Time either stopped or slowed down, because I remember far too many details from that moment than are possible.
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I hear those words in my sleep.
Fletcher asked me to describe that moment. I told him I was a peach in a blender.
Only the pictures afterward and Gina’s explanation—the compacted hood, the U-shaped roof—let me understand what happened after the impact ejected me. Gina had stalled the Jeep at the bottom of Willit Hill. Trent swerved to avoid them, and we barreled into a stand of trees.
You were trapped in the backseat. I went flying. Trent . . .
I can’t write any more. Sorry.
Sadie
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: August 20
Subject: restitution
Oh, Max, I’m so sorry. All this time, I didn’t know you were conscious. That you held his hand. You’re . . . braver than anyone I know.
Don’t beat yourself up. There’s nothing you could have done. It’s okay to feel. Jesus, I sound like Dr. Fletcher Glasson. Ignore that shit and do whatever you want.
I just want everything back the way it was. For you. For me. For our families. I want Trent to knock on my window . . . want to get in the car tomorrow and drive to the Fountain of Youth.
Okay, I’m out of juice. I’m going to turn out the light and pretend to sleep.
Sadie
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: August 25
Subject: Trent
Max,
I want to go back to your last statement: I don’t think my brother trusted me the way he trusted you. He only told me what he had to.
Max, Trent absolutely trusted you. As for confiding in you about breaking up with Gina, you can’t go by that. There are a million reasons why he hadn’t told you he was considering it. Maybe he was embarrassed or something? He always had this idyllic vision of how you saw him, and he wanted to protect that. But more than likely, he wasn’t ready to act and didn’t want to upset the group chemistry until he understood how he felt.
Sadie
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]