I pull my head back, draw in my eyebrows, and say at the exact same time as Jim, “Bullshit.”
We all laugh and it breaks the tension a little bit.
“Please don’t ever tell Marley,” I tell Ash, now being totally serious. She shakes her head.
“Hoes Code, babe. I won’t breathe a word.”
I lean forward and kiss her forehead.
“So, after all these revelations, did you find anything that Marley might be able to use?” Jimmie asks. “What are these?” She picks up the pile that I’d mentally labelled “miscellaneous”.
“I don’t know. I set all of the song lyrics and poems over there for Marls to go through, but that was just a pile of stuff that …” I shrug my shoulders, “I don’t know what they are, so I just set them aside.”
Jimmie has a white envelope in her hand. Whatever’s inside is quite bulky as the envelope looks like it’s full.
“Can I?” Jim asks.
“Go for it.”
She sets to opening the envelope carefully.
“Over the desk or against the wall?” Ash asks quietly.
“Why the fuck d’ya keep whispering? There’s no one else here.”
She turns her head to look at Jim, who’s now reading intently.
“I know but it’s just so…” She wriggles her little body. “Sexy and sordid.”
“Cheers,” I tell her. “And FYI, it was neither. Not, I don’t mean it wasn’t sexy and sordid, because it was both of those things. What I mean is, I tried to leave, he slammed the door shut, spun me around, and fucked me against the door.”
“Squeeeeeeeee! It’s like a scene from a book or a film. Fuck, I can just imagine TDH being all alpha and domineering.”
“Oh.”
I look up at Jimmie.
“What?”
Ash asks before I can.
I don't miss the look Jimmie shoots her, and my stomach does a little forward roll, dragging the rest of my internal organs with it.
My eyes scan over what she’s reading. There’s a couple of sheets of paper in one hand and an envelope in the other.
I can't see who it’s addressed to, but I can see that it’s not Sean's writing on the envelope.
“Can I see that please?” In my head I ask calmly, but in reality, I just know my voice shakes.
I don't know why I feel the panic rise from my toes to my chest. Instinct? Some kind of sixth sense? I have no clue, but I’m anxious to the point where I feel sick. My mouth’s dry, and I watch my hand shake as I hold it out for the letter that Jimmie is reading.
“George, I don't think ...”
“Pass me the letter please, Jim.” Absolut
I feel the weight of Ashley's head lift as she sits up, but I keep my eyes on Jimmie. Hers dart to Ash and then back to me. Resignation written all over her face.
I know what’s coming even before she says the word.
“No.”
I nod my head slowly. My heart pumping the blood around my body so hard that a vein in the side of my neck actually aches from the pressure.
“Give me the fucking letter, Jim.”
“George, if she—”
“Ash, I love you dearly, but stay out of this, babe.”
I stand and take the two steps to where Jimmie leans back against my desk.
I don't ask this time, I just slide the two sheets of paper from between her fingers and start to read.
After the first few lines, the words stop making sense. The letters dance around the page, and my head begins to spin.
I close my eyes for a few seconds and wait for the world to right itself. All the while knowing, that after what I'd just read, my world will never really be right again.
-
Sean,
Please, please read this. You won’t take my calls, and we really need to talk.
I can’t believe you’re going back to her. You told me it was over. You made me fall in love with you all over again. You gave me hope that finally, finally you would choose me, but just like last time, you’ve gone back to her. Why? Why her and not me? Is it because she lost the baby? Are you just feeling sorry for her, is that it? You can’t base a marriage on pity, Sean. It should be based on love, trust, and understanding, and you two don’t seem to have any of that for each other. She’s pushed you away for nearly three months, and I haven’t seen you doing much to stop her. She lost a baby. It happens all the time. What about me? What about our baby? You didn’t care about me or that I was left all on my own to make the worst choice a woman ever has to make. Just think, if you hadn’t left me and gone back to her all those years ago, we would have a ten-year-old now. A brown-eyed boy or girl that looked just like you. I suppose its Karma, really. I was forced to give up our child because you left me for her, so I suppose it’s only fair that she loses her baby too. Funny how life works out.