He shook his head. “I have ruined us,” he whispered.
“Don’t fret,” Regina said immediately. Her voice held a firmness she did not feel. “We shall find a way out of this. Never you fret.”
She looked up at Mr. Denny. “If I may take advantage of your good nature once more, sir?”
“As I said, anything.”
“Would you please find my sister, Miss Hartfield? Inform her that Father is feeling unwell and I have taken him home in the carriage.”
As the eldest, Bridget was known among society as Miss Hartfield. The second eldest, Louisa, was known as Miss Louisa Hartfield. Natalie, Elizabeth, and Regina were all known simply as Miss.
Mr. Denny bowed. “I shall inform her. I hope your father recovers. And…” he hesitated. “If there is anything I can do to assist, please inform me.”
“Not unless you are willing to marry one of us,” Regina replied before she could stop herself.
Mr. Denny flushed. Regina felt rather like bashing her head against the card table. When had she become so impudent?
“I was only jesting, of course,” she said quickly. “I apologize. Think nothing of it. I fear my mind is not at rights.”
“No apology is necessary,” Mr. Denny replied, just as hasty. He bowed again and hurried out the door.
Well, there was one man she’d just scared away from her family.
“Up you get, Father,” Regina said. It took some tugging but she convinced Father to stand on his own two feet. “I’m taking you home.”
She got him out to the carriage without much incident. It was only once they were safely inside that Father broke down.
Regina had never once seen her father cry. She had heard him in his study sometimes. After Mother had died, he would lock himself inside for hours. Regina would creep down at night to see if he was still there. If she pressed her ear to the door, she was able to hear quiet sobs.
She had wondered then what kind of love was so deep it ruined a man. She had then wondered if any man would ever love her like that.
She doubted it.
But now Father was sitting next to her in the carriage and crying. He was doing it quietly without much fuss. Regina would have expected great heaving and sobbing. But her father merely let the tears run down his face.
It was awkwardly silent. Regina had no idea what to say.
When they arrived home she helped him out of the carriage.
“Here we are,” she said, speaking to him as if he were a child. “I’ll get the front door.”
Father looked down at her. “You know you have your mother’s eyes?”
Regina stopped and turned to look at him. “Yes. Bridget has said so.”
“The prettiest brown eyes, they were. So soft and dark.” Father sighed. “I apologize. You must forgive an old man’s ramblings.”
“You are not so old, Father.” Regina took his hand and led him inside.
“I am old enough to be labeled an old fool.”
“I suspect Mr. Charleston called you that and I will have none of it. He is a sour man of little fortune.”
Father shook his head. “He was right. Regina, I have just ruined us. And I have been ruining us for years.”
“Don’t say that.” She started to lead him up the stairs. She was grateful the servants were abed so none of them saw Father this way.
“I suppose Bridget hasn’t told you.” Father let Regina lead him easy as a lamb. “My weakness for cards led us close to bankruptcy even before tonight. It was why I have been urging you girls toward marriage.
“I feel as though I am seized by a devil. I cannot stop myself. Each time I see the cards and think, I shall win. I must win. Surely this time… and then nothing but more loss.
“Your poor sister has been at her wit’s end. I have promised her and promised her that I would stop. And I have failed. Now you will all perish.”
“Now Father, be reasonable. The whole world knows Lord Pettifer is the most disgraceful of men. It is his title alone that keeps him on invitations. It is not as if Natalie ran off to Gretna Green.”
Father shook his head. “No man will have you girls now.”
“Lord Harrison asked for Bridget’s hand even after your losses,” Regina blurted out.
Father stopped on the stairs and stared at her. “Did he now?”
Regina nodded. She felt a little as though she had betrayed Lord Harrison’s confidence. But then, he had not asked her to keep it a secret. And he must ask Father’s permission before marrying Bridget anyhow.
“I am not sure of him,” Father admitted. “I have heard the most wild stories. Nothing about him is known for certain. But he has wealth and seems a good man, if mysterious. Bridget could do worse given our changed circumstances.”
“I am certain other men will come forward as well,” Regina said. She spoke with a confidence she did not feel. “Now come, we must get you to bed.”
She helped him get up the rest of the stairs and into his chambers. It felt so odd, as though their positions had reversed: he the child and she the parent.
Father didn’t say anything more as she helped him. Not until he was in bed and she prepared to walk away. Then he caught his hand in hers and said, “I am glad that one of you took after your mother.”
“I have been informed that I am nothing like mother,” Regina replied. Elizabeth had hurled that truth at her one day during a fight.
Father shook his head. “No. You and Bridget are like your mother. But you got just a bit more of her, I think.”
He raised his hand and gently touched right between her eyes. “Your eyes.”
Regina gently set his hand down on the bed and patted it. “Sleep, Father. We shall deal with this in the morning.”
She made sure all was taken care of and then went to bed herself. She knew that she should get some rest but for a while she simply couldn’t sleep.
She tossed and turned. But everything from the night played back at her. Especially Lord Harrison. She could see his eyes staring straight into hers as he promised that he only wanted to help. She could feel his hand holding hers, making her feel safe.
Regina sat up in frustration. Why should she be thinking of a man she had just met? It was of Father she should be thinking. Father and her family’s future.
She had no inclination to marry. And she did not think her sisters would appreciate being rushed into marriage themselves. To marry a husband for charity? Out of desperation? It seemed so base.
Marriage was to make a good match. It was an economical decision. To marry a man for love alone was folly. But neither was marriage something to be rushed into. It required a careful weighing of pros and cons. It went against Regina’s nature to rush herself or her sisters into matrimony.
If only there was a way to get back their fortune and land so that they could rely on Father as before. Then they could marry as other women did, smartly and in proper time. What would society say of them all getting married at once?
Her sisters deserved better than marrying under a cloud of scandal. And Father deserved better than the pity and judgment he would receive.