“Have you considered—”
“What Earth would do with them? Dad, she did her medical training in three months. She’s a clock, a thermometer, any instrument of measurement you can think of. She remembers being born, and I watched her put a whole library in her head in an hour.”
Dad puts his hands in his pockets. “And Jill knows?”
“Yes, but I’m not sure she saw the potential.”
“Okay. Then let’s just keep as quiet as we can about it. Until we figure out what’s next. Oh, and Dr. Lanik wants to see her. Tomorrow if he could. Before she gets the run of the ship. She’ll like the medical center, I think … ”
He was right. Sam is in there so long, explaining to Lanik about healing, food, and sleep, getting him to tell her about procedures and equipment, that I slip out, thinking to head to the communications bridge, to hear what the team found in the old city. In case I need to break anything to Sam.
And then I see Jill, coming back from the exercise cube with a towel over her shoulder. I didn’t know she was allowed out. We’re the only ones in the corridor, and the sight of her standing there, staring at me, makes me think of her silence while I was tied to that post. The terrified people in the streets and the top blown off a mountain. I turn to go back in the med center, and she says, “Beckett, wait.”
I stop, but I don’t turn. The hall is as quiet as the Underneath.
“I thought you’d want to know that Faye is back. She doesn’t have any memories from before sunrise, and she was … she was the only one left.”
That figures. And we left her cuffed, too.
“It’s like she’s a different person.”
You’re a different person, Jillian.
I’ve almost started to walk away again when she says, “Beckett, Earth needs clean DNA. We have to have it, or there’s not going to be any of us left to … There won’t be anyone to … That’s why we needed each other. You and me. And we had to bring them back. To save the Earth. Don’t you see … ”
“Not that way, Jill,” I cut in. “Don’t pretend there’s any noble reason for doing what Faye did, and I was never going back to Earth. And you know it was all about the money.”
She steps back like I smacked her. Sam comes out of the medical center then, wearing one of my jumpsuits, and in her tiny pause I can see that Jill is giving her a barrage of memories. That she’s fighting for control. I take her hand, and she relaxes.
“I heard you’re taking the bikes to New Canaan in the morning,” Jill says quickly. “Do you think … Will you see Nathan?”
She just stands there, biting her lip, and I don’t say anything. I squeeze Sam’s hand and turn away, bring her with me down the hall. Sam is here, safe, with her hand in mine. And I think it really might be okay if I never see Jillian again.
The first time I went Outside and felt the sky, I realized that no matter how high and vast the caverns of my city, there was still a ceiling. And when I stayed Outside, I realized that no matter how immense and infinite the sky, that the mountains still made walls.
If I could do everything I ever wished, I would breach my walls. And I would not do it alone.
FROM THE HIDDEN BOOK OF SAMARA ARCHIVA IN THE CITY OF NEW CANAAN
I attended the burning of my father, and did not go to the burning of my mother. Beckett came with me, and Sean and Joanna, Nita’s family, and Dr. Lanik. My father, according to Dr. Lanik’s examination, died quickly of a massive exposure to the Forgetting spore. But my mother’s body suffered violence before she died. From many different hands. I’ll never Know what happened, and I’m glad. And Father was in a wooden box at his burning. Not like the way my mother made me watch Adam.
After flying across the plain, being on the Centauri, the city feels so small.
The day we arrived in New Canaan we found a new Council being formed between Annis and Huan Councilman, Thorne’s nephew. Three days of Knowing and Outsiders being locked in together with a common enemy on the other side of the gate seems to have done some good. A short-term agreement had already been reached, about medicine, housing, rationing. Longer-term agreements about educating the Outside, having the Knowing provide an actual service for their upkeep, the use of technology and communication were left to be hashed out when everyone was fed.
Commander Davis of the Centauri III spoke to the new Council, a smooth and apologetic speech, explaining the actions of Earth and the removal of Faye, a positive commitment to staying long enough to help New Canaan rebuild what had been damaged. The Council had him say it again in the Forum, packed with Outsiders and Knowing together, and it was then that Earth was, if not exactly accepted, at least allowed in. There were crops to get in the ground. But after a conversation with Annis, it was agreed that Earth would no longer be allowed Underneath. The less Earth understood about Knowing, the better. The Centauri moved to an easy distance on the barren plain, though still out of sight, and soon the transports began, shuttling help back and forth to the Outside. For rebuilding.
Commander Davis granted permission for me to administer the cure for Forgetting to three of the Earth patrol left Outside while the Underneath was sealed, but he denied this privilege to Juniper Faye. I still haven’t decided whether this was a punishment or a kindness. But walking out of the gates into the bustle and sun, a syringe in my bag for Grandpapa, I Know that for him it’s going to be neither. It’s simply his choice.
I lay the syringe on the table in front of Grandpapa. Nathan is here, but Annis isn’t. I gave her and the children the use of the Archiva flat now that she’s Council, everything but my bedchamber. The NWSE artifacts on my mother’s wall I gave to Sean Rodriguez, everything but the knife. Now I give Grandpapa his choice, and it’s entirely his. But it’s not an easy one.
Grandpapa stares at the needle. We all do. Then Beckett goes back to making tea for Sean and Joanna, who are observing from the chairs by the unlit furnace. Sunbeams blow straight in the window with the breeze, and Beck looks like he belongs here. He’s in the cloth of the Outside, now dyed an Earth-sky blue.
“You don’t have to, Grandpapa,” I say. “The memories could be good. Or bad. And you’re happy as you are, aren’t you?” I see Beckett shake his head at me just a little, smiling. I’m overly afraid of bad memories. But he knows I’m making a similar choice, and he wishes I wasn’t.
“Well,” says Grandpapa. “I’m guessing my memories will be a little bit of both.” And he rolls up his sleeve.