The game requires the patience of a saint. Strategizing. One step following another. I have to fight back my increasing desire to be rash. To jump ahead and get going forward faster ... faster ... faster.
But that’s not the way the game works and it’s sweeter for it. That doesn’t mean unexpected turns don’t infuriate me. Miscarriage ... ? Gregory Wren got his sweet little bird pregnant? And it wasn’t the first time he’d spread his seed, supposedly. Just ask the mistress he was fucking any time he could get away from Andrea ... Andi ... the cool, seductive wife. Just thinking about her gets me hard. Before she dies I will fill her with my own seed.
My blood boils with need and rage. Immediately I recognize the danger. Have to wait ... have to wait ... This miscarriage has shone a light too brightly on my ultimate quarry.
But there are others who can fulfill my need while the game continues ... all part of the misdirection.
*
At seven p.m. Andi lit a candle and put it in the window of her cabin, standing back and staring at the flame. She drew a breath, closed her eyes, and let herself feel the sadness. Today was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, nearly six weeks since her miscarriage, and each person’s candle, lit at seven p.m. in their respective time zone, sent a wave of light around the world in recognition of their loss. Andi had never really participated in global events until this day, but she had to admit this one small act made her feel better.
She’d gone back to work fairly quickly after the miscarriage, but, as she had after Greg’s death, she’d mostly walked through the days like an automaton.
Her mother had insisted on flying in from Boston to help her. Andi had weakly protested, but her pleas had fallen on deaf ears. As soon as she arrived, the first thing Diana DeCarolis did was refill Andi’s antidepressants, even though she told her mother she still had pills from Dr. Knapp’s first prescription. “Then you should be taking them regularly,” her mother said flatly, holding up the vial. “If you had been, these would be gone.”
She was right, of course, but Andi didn’t care to hear it. She’d been doing fine, and it was just as well she’d neglected the pills because she’d been pregnant at the time. She would have been worried sick if the baby had lived because she’d been taking those antidepressants throughout her three-month pregnancy.
She hadn’t seen Luke much since the miscarriage, and over the last weeks she’d begun questioning whether she should have hired him in the first place. She’d heard nothing more from the Carreras; none of the Wrens had. And when Andi returned to work, there’d been no more talk from Carter about selling any properties to them. The company’s construction loan had finally come through, so they were able to pay their bills and continue building the lodge without the worry of running out of funds. She’d called Luke and given him that information, but she hadn’t pulled him off the job as yet. This could be just a lull, and the Carreras would come back swinging. If so, she hoped Luke would find something on them and put them out of the strong-arm business, but she wasn’t certain how long their business arrangement should be kept in place.
Meanwhile, her mother took over Andi’s move, emptying the boxes, sorting out what was needed and what could go into storage—more, even, than Andi had—then she moved on to what she felt needed to be changed at the cabin itself, namely the nursery furniture and decor. Andi didn’t have the energy to stop her, and truthfully, she didn’t know what she wanted anyway. With the aid of Andi’s brother, Jarrett, Diana brought a double bed out of storage for the spare room, along with various and sundry other items to make the cabin comfortable. She stayed ten days, and by the time she left, Andi was desperate to be alone again. Though she appreciated everything her mother had done for her, a little of Diana went a long way. Organization was her mother’s forte, but her drill sergeant ways wore thin fast.
Now, Andi went to the bathroom medicine cabinet and peered inside, seeing the two vials of pills sitting side by side. She’d started taking the new ones but had switched to the originals. What difference did it make?