“You said he doesn’t talk about Mya,” Marcus said. “Has he said why?”
“At first I thought it was because he wanted to forget,” Gravya said. “He had us put all the pictures of her away, and he never mentioned her. But I don’t think he can forget. I think it was for everyone else to forget, if that makes any sense. Almost nobody outside Mieranhal knows she even existed.” She cocked her head. “That’s why I was so surprised he told you.”
“So was I,” Marcus said honestly. “He’s normally very... private.”
There was a long pause.
“Well,” Gravya said, with false brightness. “Drink up. I’m sure Medio will want you for dinner.”
*
Uhlan did indeed insist on Marcus and Cyte staying for dinner, which was simple, delicious, and offered in vast quantities. Afterward, there was still enough daylight left to make it to the next town, and Marcus gave his military duties as an excuse to avoid any further hospitality. He and Cyte rode through the gathering twilight, winding down the hilly paths. The shepherds were all gathering in their sheep, and the apple orchards cast long shadows.
“We’ll spend the night at Gyff,” Marcus said. They’d passed it on the way up, and he recalled a small inn. “If we start at dawn tomorrow, we should be back with the army by the time they make camp.”
Cyte nodded. She was silent for a moment, then said, “You wanted me to draw my own conclusions.”
“I did.” Marcus looked around, but there was no one within earshot. “Have you?”
“There’s not that much to draw a conclusion from. Janus found something in his books that gave him a purpose in life. Since you asked me about magic, I’m guessing you think it’s something to do with that.”
“It makes sense,” Marcus said. “When Janus came to Khandar, he knew the Thousand Names were there. There was a moment when he thought he’d lost them—” He shook his head. It had been one of Janus’ rare, spectacular rages; only Marcus’ intervention had prevented him from torturing an old woman to death.
“Why did he want them?”
“I know the story he told me,” Marcus said slowly. “Princess Raesinia had—?has—?a problem of a magical nature.” He looked up. “I don’t need to tell you this is all strictly secret, do I?”
“Of course not,” Cyte said.
“Winter knows most of it. Raesinia, obviously. A few others have bits and pieces.” He frowned. “In any case, the king asked Janus to help his daughter. A few years later Janus is assigned to command in Khandar, by the king’s personal intervention. He told me—?well after the fact, of course—?that he’d been looking for the Thousand Names to help Raesinia. He thought that she would never be safe as long as the Priests of the Black were hunting for stray magic, and with the Thousand Names he’d have the power to take them on.”
“Given Winter’s history with the Priests of the Black and the Penitents, I can’t say that I disagree with him,” Cyte said. “But you said that’s the story he told you. You don’t believe it?”
“I think it’s true, as far as it goes,” Marcus said. “But there’s a piece missing. Why would the king pick Janus to help his daughter unless he already had some familiarity with magic and demons?”
“Janus is a genius,” Cyte said. “Maybe the king saw that.”
“It’s possible. But I think Janus was already searching for that kind of information. He said to me once that it was out there, if you knew where to look, and I think he was looking. I think he’s been looking ever since his revelation at age twelve.”
“What do you think he found then?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe just something that convinced him magic was real, that demons really existed.” Marcus looked sidelong at Cyte. “Did you believe any of that, before you saw the truth for yourself?”
She watched him carefully for a moment. “The Church has always said demons are real.”
“In a vague sort of way. But did you believe it?”
“No.” Cyte shrugged. “I haven’t believed since I was a little girl. It always seemed too... comforting to me. Too much like a fairy tale.”
“It must have been a shock finding out you were wrong.”
“It took some getting used to.” Cyte smiled slightly. “But just because magic and demons are real doesn’t mean the rest of it is. What about you?”
“I suppose I believe in God. And in Khandar there were always odd rumors going around. I got used to the idea that there might be something strange in the world. When it finally hit me, it was a shock, but I got over it pretty quickly.” He grimaced. “Although it took some time to heal. But now imagine you’re someone like Janus.”
“That’s not easy to imagine.”
“Granted. But try. You believe in a world that you can understand. It has rules, laws. You study history, engineering, mathematics, and so on. And then one day you find something that convinces you that there’s more, things that don’t fit in with any of the laws you know about.”
“It does seem like it would be a shock,” Cyte said. “You think that everything he did after that was a reaction to finding out about magic?”
“Maybe. There’s one more piece.”
“When he told you about Mya.” Cyte had the air of someone who’d been waiting to ask the important question. “What did he say?”
“I wasn’t entirely straight with Gravya,” Marcus said. “Janus had been poisoned by a Penitent, and he was feverish. Not in his right mind.”
“That was when Winter left,” Cyte said. “To track down the assassin.”
“Exactly. I was taking care of Janus myself, especially after we got cut off by the river. He would... talk.”
“About Mya?”
“I didn’t always understand him, but he mentioned her name. He called out to her, telling her not to leave him.”
“That makes sense, since he was so upset by her death.”
“That wasn’t it, though.” Marcus frowned, trying to recall the exact words. “He told me the world was as thin as the scum on the surface of a bowl of soup, and that far underneath there were... continents of shadow. And that she—?Mya, I think—?is down there somewhere.” He paused. “He said he had a fishing line.”
Cyte sucked in her breath.
“He said,” Marcus went on, “that she outshone him like the sun against a candle. And that we had to help her, and to do that he had to get to Elysium. He said something was waiting for him there. He called it ‘my demon.’”
Disclosing a friend’s most private thoughts, Marcus felt simultaneously burdened by guilt and lightened for having someone else to share the secret. He watched Cyte’s face as she worked through it.
“How can he want to help Mya?” Cyte said. “Is it possible that she’s still alive, somehow? That something happened to her, some demon, and Janus wants to undo it?”
“I thought that at first. It’s one reason I wanted to come here. But the story doesn’t match up.” Marcus shook his head. “I don’t think he could have kept something like that from Gravya and the others, not when he was only six years old. And he didn’t have his revelation for another six years.”
“So...”