I push Mim away. The ringing in my ears is so loud that I can’t hear her voice anymore. I blunder toward the door of my chamber, my only thought to reach my Valtia, begging the stars that when I do, this will all turn out to be a mistake. She’ll greet me with affection and we’ll have our meal and she’ll tell me how she sent the Soturi to their graves in the deep.
Mim loops her arm around my waist as I reach the corridor. “Slow down, Elli. Your chair’s coming.”
A waste of time. “No.”
“Please. Prepare yourself for what’s about to happen.”
With her hanging on to me, I stride down my corridor toward the domed chamber. It’s like wading through deep water as Mim tries to hold me back. Prepare yourself.
But I can’t bear the thought of losing my Valtia, so I can’t bear to think of preparing for it.
When I’m about halfway, Elder Leevi comes toward us from the domed chamber, his apprentice trailing behind him carrying a lantern that throws distorted shadows against the stone walls. “She’s in her quarters,” he says to us. “You will be taken to the catacombs, the Stone Chamber, to wait for—”
“No.” I slap at Mim’s clutching hands and quicken my pace as soon as she lets me go. “I will see her now.”
Leevi blinks at Mim and then at me. “My Saadella, that is not how we do this.”
“I need to see her.” My voice echoes off the walls. “I’m not going anywhere else.”
Leevi scowls at Mim, as if she’s responsible for my behavior. “Very well,” he finally says. “Handmaiden, pack her things.”
Mim’s eyes are red-rimmed and her face is pinched. “Yes, Elder,” she says hoarsely. “I’ll have them ready to be moved in a few hours.”
I gape at him. He’s already planning for me to move into the Valtia’s chambers, and she’s still alive. Disgust burns in my throat as he takes my arm and leads me forward.
“Who’s with her now?” I ask when we reach the main chamber, its copper dome arching above us, dark and ominous as the candles gutter around the edge of the room.
“Elder Kauko is attending to her body, but—”
“Her body.” It comes out as a squeak.
He purses his lips. “He’s trying to make her comfortable. If you insist on being there, it’s best if you wait in the antechamber.”
It feels like there’s a stone on my chest. Each breath is an effort. “I won’t wait outside, Elder. I need to see her.” This time, my voice is loud and sure. I’m not a little girl. And though I’ve been taught the value of obedience, my Valtia’s voice in my head also reminds me that I’m the someday queen. And if Kauko’s right, I’ll be more powerful than any before me. I’d best start owning it now.
Elder Leevi bows his head. “As you wish.”
I enter the corridor where her quarters are located. A few acolytes and maidservants are milling about, their faces ashen. Some of them are crying. Helka’s down the hall, weeping loudly. I grit my teeth. They’re grieving for a queen who still lives. I walk past them without acknowledging them, striding into her antechamber, which is paneled with carved wood. The hammered copper ceiling looks like it’s on fire as we pass beneath with the lantern. Leevi tells his apprentice to wait while we enter, and I’m grateful. The Valtia doesn’t need prying eyes right now. She needs me, her Saadella.
Leevi gently grips my shoulder. “Elli, please prepare yourself—”
“Why does everyone keep saying that to me?” I lurch away from him and barrel into her bedchamber.
The room is lit with a few candles. Aleksi stands at the foot of her bed, still as a statue. The door to the balcony is wide open, the drapes fluttering with the breeze from the Motherlake. Goose bumps ride across my skin, but a moment later a gust of heat washes over me, raising beads of sweat. I walk slowly toward the Valtia’s bed as Elder Leevi strides ahead of me to alert Elder Kauko, who is hunched over it, his back to me.
Elder Kauko looks over his shoulder and frowns. “You should be in the Stone Chamber. You don’t want to see this, my Saadella.”
“Don’t tell me what I want.”