“I’m her fucking brother, and I’m really not the in the mood for any more bullshit tonight.”
Enzo faltered. I sent him a psychic message to save me, to swoop in and whisk me away from the current situation. Even if the whisking would be done on the bus, not a noble steed. And instead of riding into the sunset, we’d go back to his crappy apartment.
“We’ll take her home,” Connor said quietly.
“She came here with me.”
Yes! I would have jumped up and down if not for the risk of throwing up again.
“Yeah, and you ditched her and let her get drunk when she’s obviously inexperienced,” Rush said.
I cringed. If I hadn’t been so out of it, I would have died from embarrassment.
Enzo looked from my brother to Connor and took a step back. That’s when I knew he wasn’t going to rescue me. He was going to let himself get bullied by a couple ex-jocks.
“We’ll take Hawthorn home,” Connor repeated. “Go back to the party or get out of here.”
Then Rush and Connor were walking me to the car. It was funny, the way my feet were moving even though I didn’t tell them to. Also, the way the ground had turned into one of those fun house floors that tries to throw you off balance. I wanted to tell Enzo about it, but we’d left him behind us. Besides, I hated him for not standing up to my brother.
There was some discussion about which of them would drive me home or if both of them should. Finally, Connor convinced Rush to stay and said he’d meet up with him in an hour. I got the feeling that Rush’s new girlfriend was supposed to show up at the Barn and that’s why Connor told him to stay. I tried to ask them about it, but I was too tired.
“Let me know if you have to throw up,” Connor said when we were on the road.
I nodded and slumped against the window. Watching the trees go by in the glare of the headlights made me light-headed. I closed my eyes, felt sleep trying to take me.
“No one gives Enzo a chance,” I slurred.
“You did.”
“Yeah. I guess.” I risked opening my eyes. The trees were still moving too fast. No, I reminded myself, the trees weren’t moving; we were. “He didn’t kill Lizzie.”
“I never said he did,” Connor said as if explaining something to a child.
I meant to tell Connor not to talk to me like that but instead asked, “Do you dislike him?”
“I don’t even know him.”
“Fair enough.”
For a little while, there was silence. I cracked the window, let the chilly air hit my face. The road was smooth, and Connor’s car didn’t bounce and jerk around like mine did. I was just starting to relax when Connor spoke.
“Your brother has been drunk more times than I can count, but I never thought I’d be the designated driver for the younger Creely.”
“Little Creely,” I mumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
What was I doing in Connor’s car? Why had I gone to the party in the first place? I wanted the world to make sense again.
The full moon lit up the road in front of us. Connor could have cut the headlights and still had enough light to see. It made me think of Lizzie, out by herself in the woods. What was she thinking and doing at that moment? Did she feel like she was finally home?
I must have lost the battle and fallen asleep after that. The next thing I was aware of was Connor opening the passenger door.
“Come on,” he said, holding out a hand to help me. “You’re home.”
My eyes didn’t want to focus. My mouth had a horrible taste in it, worse than any vegan food my mom had ever made me eat. I tried to get out of the car without any help, but I stood up too fast, and it made my head pound. I took Connor’s hand.
“This is the worst night of my life,” I mumbled as he helped me across the yard.
“If this is the worst, you should count yourself lucky.”
I wasn’t lucky though. Lizzie was the lucky one. Lucky Lizzie who always got everything she wanted. She wouldn’t have thrown up at the party. And Enzo wouldn’t have left her side, not for a minute.
Connor helped me up the stairs and unlocked the front door for me.
“Are you going to make it to your room?” he asked.
“You offering to tuck me in too?”
Connor laughed and shook his head. “Just making sure you’re OK, Thorny.”
“I am.”
“All right. Good night then.”
“Night,” I said.
I went inside the house and began the monumental task of climbing the stairs. Halfway up, I considered lying down and going to sleep right there but figured that would probably make my mom ask several questions—none of which I wanted to answer. So instead, I very slowly and carefully dragged myself to bed.
Chapter 19
Perspective
I would have gladly slept in until noon the next day, but Rush didn’t give me the opportunity. I woke up to him shaking me.
“Go away,” I moaned, shoving my head under a pillow.
“Come on, get up.” He snatched the pillow away. “We need to go back to the Barn.”
I squinted up at him, wondering when sunlight had become so painful. “Are you crazy? Why would I ever go back there?”
“To get your car, remember?”