None of it made sense, but each line carried the weight of prophecy. I felt as if dozens of important statements, each vital to my survival, were being blended together, loaded in a shotgun, and fired at my face.
(Oh, that’s a rather good image. I’ll have to use it in a haiku.)
“Meg!” I called again.
Still no reply. The grove did not seem so large. How could she not hear me? How could I not see her?
I slogged along, humming a perfect A 440 hertz tone to keep myself focused. When I reached the second ring of trees, the oaks became more conversational.
“Hey, buddy, got a quarter?” one asked.
Another tried to tell me a joke about a penguin and a nun walking into a Shake Shack.
A third oak was giving its neighbor an infomercial sales pitch about a food processor. “And you won’t believe what it does with pasta!”
“Wow!” said the other tree. “It makes pasta, too?”
“Fresh linguine in minutes!” the sales oak enthused.
I did not understand why an oak tree would want linguine, but I kept moving. I was afraid that if I listened too long, I would order the food processor for three easy installments of $39.99, and my sanity would be lost forever.
Finally, I reached the center of the grove. On the far side of the largest oak tree, Meg stood with her back to the trunk, her eyes closed tight. The wind chimes were still in her hand, but they hung forgotten at her side. The brass cylinders clanked, muted against her dress.
At her feet, Peaches rocked back and forth, giggling. “Apples? Peaches! Mangoes? Peaches!”
“Meg.” I touched her shoulder.
She flinched. She focused on me as if I were a clever optical illusion. Her eyes simmered with fear. “It’s too much,” she said. “Too much.”
The voices had her in their grip. It was bad enough for me to endure—like a hundred radio stations playing at once, forcibly splitting my brain into different channels. But I was used to prophecies. Meg, on the other hand, was a daughter of Demeter. The trees liked her. They were all trying to share with her, to get her attention at the same time. Soon they would permanently fracture her mind.
“The wind chimes,” I said. “Hang them in the tree!”
I pointed to the lowest branch, well above our heads. Alone, neither of us could reach it, but if I gave Meg a boost…
Meg backed away, shaking her head. The voices of Dodona were so chaotic I wasn’t sure she had heard me. If she had, she either didn’t understand or didn’t trust me.
I had to tamp down my feelings of betrayal. Meg was Nero’s stepdaughter. She had been sent to lure me here, and our whole friendship was a lie. She had no right to mistrust me.
But I could not stay bitter. If I blamed her for the way Nero had twisted her emotions, I was no better than the Beast. Also, just because she had lied about being my friend did not mean I wasn’t hers. She was in danger. I was not going to leave her to the madness of the grove’s penguin jokes.
I crouched and laced my fingers to make a foothold. “Please.”
To my left, Peaches rolled onto his back and wailed, “Linguine? Peaches!”
Meg grimaced. I could see from her eyes that she was deciding to cooperate with me—not because she trusted me, but because Peaches was suffering.
Just when I thought my feelings could not be hurt any worse. It was one thing to be betrayed. It was another thing to be considered less important than a diapered fruit spirit.
Nevertheless, I remained steady as Meg placed her left foot in my hands. With all my remaining strength, I hoisted her up. She stepped onto my shoulders, then planted one red sneaker on top of my head. I made a mental note to put a safety label on my scalp: WARNING, TOP STEP IS NOT FOR STANDING.
With my back against the oak, I could feel the voices of the grove coursing up its trunk and drumming through its bark. The central tree seemed to be one giant antenna for crazy talk.
My knees were about to buckle. Meg’s treads were grinding into my forehead. The A 440 I had been humming rapidly deflated to a G sharp.
Finally, Meg tied the wind chimes to the branch. She jumped down as my legs collapsed, and we both ended up sprawled in the dirt.
The brass chimes swayed and clanged, picking notes out of the wind and making chords from the dissonance.
The grove hushed, as if the trees were listening and thinking, Oooh, pretty.
Then the ground trembled. The central oak shook with such energy, it rained acorns.
Meg got to her feet. She approached the tree and touched its trunk.
“Speak,” she commanded.
A single voice boomed forth from the wind chimes, like a cheerleader screaming through a megaphone:
There once was a god named Apollo
Who plunged in a cave blue and hollow
Upon a three-seater
The bronze fire-eater
Was forced death and madness to swallow
The wind chimes stilled. The grove settled into tranquility, as if satisfied with the death sentence it had given me.