‘Yes. It’s fine. If that’s what she wants, then I don’t mind at all. Whatever makes Alice happy.’
I exchange a look over the top of Mum’s head with Luke. He gives me the eyes which say to let it go. That’s one of the reasons I love Luke. He knows what I’m thinking without me even saying a word. He knows I’m thinking Mum is perhaps being a little more soppy than I expected and he can probably guess that I’m wondering whether I should say anything to her. From the small shake of his head, clearly, Luke thinks not.
‘Marion, would you like me to print the email and photo for you?’ he says.
‘Oh, would you, Luke? That would be wonderful. I mean, it’s lovely that emails are so instant, but you can’t beat holding a letter in your hand.’ Mum smiles gratefully at Luke and then turns to me. ‘I’m going to put it with all of Alice’s other things.’
‘That’s a good idea,’ I say, knowing she’s referring to a small black suitcase, where she has kept Alice’s favourite dress, some of her old cuddly toys, like the brown teddy bear who has lost its eyes and the bunny rabbit in the blue jacket like Peter Rabbit, her nightdress with ladybird print, her book about the zoo, anything that provided a connection to her daughter, in fact. There’s also a small stash of presents Mum has bought every birthday and Christmas.
Luke prints out the email and photograph and Mum goes off to her room with it. Luke stands behind me and massages my shoulders. ‘She’s bound to be a bit emotional. It’s a lot for her to take in. And you.’ He turns me to face him. ‘Are you okay, yourself?’
I nod. ‘Yeah. If Mum’s happy, then I am.’
‘That’s not what I asked.’
‘I am happy. It’s just …’ I hesitate, not wishing to sound like I’m put out by my sister coming on the scene and displacing me. Luke says nothing as he waits for me to continue. ‘It’s just all happening quite fast and I’m not sure about this friend coming, if I’m honest. Seems a bit of an odd thing to do when you’re going to meet your family for the first time.’
‘It is a little odd, but let’s try to relax and go with the flow, eh? Perhaps Alice just wants a bit of moral support.’
‘You’ve changed your tune,’ I say.
‘I have no control over it,’ Luke says. ‘Alice is making plans to come over, whether we like it or not. So, we had better get used to it and embrace it, that’s all I’m saying. I’m sure everything will be all right.’
‘I wish I had your laid-back attitude.’
‘Clare, Babe. I know you must be feeling all sorts of things. Christ, I know I am and she’s not even my sister, but I’ve invested the time and emotion in Alice too. Not on your sort of scale, granted, but all those times we’ve tried to find her, to track her down. The money we’ve spent … okay, you’ve spent, trying to find her. And now, that’s all behind us. She’s found us. You’re getting your sister back, your mum is getting her daughter back, I’m getting a sister-in-law and the kids are getting an aunty. Let’s concentrate on the good things.’
‘Speaking of the kids,’ I say looking up at the ceiling as I hear the sound of feet cross the landing and descend the staircase. ‘Sounds like Hannah is up.’
I put on a brave smile as I take the girls out for what is turning into a brunch. Luke is right. I must think of the good things, the positives. My little sister is coming home. Yet, despite this mantra, I can’t shake the disquiet that has settled within me.
Chapter 7
The next few weeks pass quickly and I’m surprised at how fast events move. I had anticipated that there would be a gradual exchange of emails and possibly some phone calls before Mum and Alice decided it was time to meet in person. In my mind, it would be at least two or three months but, no, in two more emails, they decide they want to meet sooner rather than later. In person, straight off. No phone calls, no Skype.
‘Are you sure you’re ready for this?’ I ask Mum, the evening before Alice’s arrival, as Mum goes into Alice’s bedroom to make sure the room is tidy and ready to welcome her. I had suggested to Mum that she redecorate the room, but she had insisted the baby-pink walls and the polka-dot curtains were to remain. She was convinced Alice would remember them. I want Alice to remember them, if only for Mum’s sake. I wonder whether I should prime her first, but decide against it. I haven’t been involved in the emails. I don’t feel quite so connected to Alice yet.
‘It looks really nice, Mum,’ I say. ‘I’m sure Alice will love it, but don’t get upset if it takes her a while to remember things. It was a long time ago and she was very young.’
I place a hand on Mum’s shoulder and give a gentle squeeze.
‘It’s okay, love,’ says Mum. ‘I know it may be a bit difficult, and even upsetting, but I’m prepared for it. I’m not as naive as you may think.’