“Wait!” cried George. “Does anyone have a mirror?”
“You’re only gorgeous,” said Marcus. “Stop looking at yourself.”
“Shut up.”
“You shut up.”
“Both of you shut up,” said Liam.
We got out of the car into the sunlight, and I felt a slight pain in my head and remembered that I had forgotten to take my morning pill. It didn’t matter too much; we’d be passing by the house later on the way to the reception and I could stop in for a moment and take it then. The doctors had told me that I had six months but if Julian was to be believed, it was more likely to be just over two. Three days after Halloween.
“Just like me,” said Charles, waving goodbye to me as I stepped out onto the street. “A brain tumor. Turns out you’re a real Avery after all.”
I laughed, then turned to look at the registry office before me. Death was coming for me, I knew that. But I didn’t want to think about it today.
The New Ireland
As I entered the registry office, I saw Tom hovering near the front, looking handsome in his wedding suit, his daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren standing next to him with wide smiles on all their faces. When he saw me, he raised a hand in the air and I walked over, my arms open wide to embrace him.
“Didn’t we get great weather for it all the same?” said Jane, leaning over and giving me a kiss on the cheek.
“We did,” I said. “Somebody up there is in our corner.”
“And why wouldn’t they be?” said Tom, smiling. “When you look back, Cyril, did you ever think a day like this would happen?”
“Honestly?” I said, shaking my head. “No.”
“Do you have your speech ready?”
“Everyone is very concerned about this speech,” I said. “It’s written. It’s the right length, there’s a few good jokes in it and I think we’ll all be happy.”
“Good man.”
“We weren’t sure we were even going to make it,” said Jane.
“Why?” I asked, frowning.
“Don’t,” said Tom.
“His arthritis,” she said, lowering her voice a little. “He’s been having a terrible time of it.”
“But it’s fine today,” said Tom. “There’s not a bother on me.”
“Sure none of us are as we were,” I said. “We’ll all get through the day anyway.”
“It’ll be very strange to have a son who’s only a few years younger than me,” he said.
“I won’t be calling you Dad, if that’s what you’re expecting,” I said, smiling. He was a nice man, Tom. I didn’t know him very well, but from what I’d seen, I liked him. An architect by career, he’d been retired for thirteen years and had a nice bungalow in Howth with a great view over Ireland’s Eye. I’d been out there a couple of times already and he’d always made me feel very welcome.
My mother and he had met on Tinder.
A hand touched my arm and I turned around to see Ignac standing behind me. “They’re here,” he said.
“They’re here,” I repeated, turning back to Tom, my voice rising like an excited child, and we took our leave of each other, he going to the front of the registry office, me going to the back, while everyone else took their seats. As the guests sat down, I said a quick hello to Jack Smoot, who shook my hand and told me that there was nothing that would ever have brought him back to Ireland except for this.
“And I’m getting the fuck out of the place first thing tomorrow morning,” he added.
The doors opened and that’s when I saw her. Standing at the end of the aisle, eighty-six years old without a care in the world and looking as happy as any bride on her wedding day. Next to her, my ex-wife Alice and Cyril II—she’d stayed with them the night before—who surrendered her to me.
“I want to see you at the reception,” said Alice, as she kissed me. “All the way to the end, do you hear me?”
“You don’t need to worry,” I said, smiling.
“Because if you disappear, I’ll do a Liam Neeson, do you hear me? I have a very particular set of skills and I’ll hunt you down, I’ll find you and I’ll kill you.”
“Alice,” I said. “I give you my solemn oath. I’ll be the last one to bed tonight.”
“Right,” she said, smiling and looking at me with something approaching love in her eyes. “You’ve been warned.”
They took their seats, leaving my mother and me together.
“You look wonderful,” I said.
“You’re not just saying that, are you?” she asked nervously. “I’m not making a fool of myself?”
“How could you be?” I asked.
“Because I’m eighty-six years old,” she said. “And eighty-six-year-old women don’t get married. Especially not to seventy-nine-year-old men. I’m a cougar.”
“Sure everyone can get married now,” I said. “It’s the new Ireland. Did you not hear?”
“Cyril,” said a voice behind me, and I turned around.
“You’re busy today,” I said. “I thought I wouldn’t see you for another few days yet.”
“You can come over later tonight if you want,” he said.
“No,” I replied, shaking my head. “You said Halloween. Actually, you said a few days after Halloween.”
“All right,” said Julian. “I was just checking. We’ll have a bit of a laugh when you do get here, though. There’s a couple of girls I want us to double-date with.”
I rolled my eyes. “You don’t change, do you?” I asked.
“Just be my wing-man, that’s all,” he said. “You don’t have to actually do anything.”
“Halloween,” I said. “A couple of days after.”
“Fine,” he said.
“Are we set then?” asked my mother.
“I am if you are.”
“Is he here? He didn’t change his mind?”
“Oh he’s here all right. You’re going to be very happy, the two of you. I know you are.”
She nodded and swallowed a little as she smiled at me. “I feel that too,” she said. “He was wrong, wasn’t he?”
“Who?” I asked.
“Father Monroe. He said I’d never have a wedding day. He said that no man would ever want me. But here that day is. He was wrong.”
“Of course he was wrong,” I told her. “They were all wrong. They were wrong about everything.”
I smiled and leaned forward to give her a kiss on the cheek. I knew this might be one of the last things I got to do in this world, leaving my mother in the hands of someone who would take care of her, and I felt great relief to know that there was a family, a big family, who would look after her when I was gone. She needed that. She’d missed out on it all these years. But now here it was.
“Walk slowly,” said a voice from behind me, and I turned around and felt my heart jump in delight. “Remember, you’re on a crutch and she’s an old lady.”
“You came!” I said.
“I heard you were looking for me. Julian told me.”
“I didn’t think I’d see you. Not till, you know, till it was my turn.”
“I couldn’t wait,” he said.
“You look exactly the same as you did on that last day. In Central Park.”
“Actually, I’m a few pounds lighter,” he said. “I’ve been on a fitness drive.”