“Is it? I don’t see why.”
“Do you mind if I ask when you got divorced?”
“I don’t mind at all.”
“So when was it?” she asked.
“Oh, a few years ago now. When the legislation first came in. Alice couldn’t get rid of me quick enough, to be honest. As far as I understand, we were one of the first couples to take advantage of the new law.”
“That’s not a good sign,” she said. “You must have had a very unhappy marriage.”
“Not particularly.”
“So why did you get divorced?”
“Do you know, I don’t think that’s any of your business.”
“Oh don’t be so defensive, we’re all friends here.”
“We’re not though, are we?”
“We will be when I change your life.”
“Maybe this conversation was a bad idea,” I said.
“No, it wasn’t,” she replied. “Don’t be worrying, Cecil. Cyril. Look, you’re divorced. I won’t hold it against you.”
“That’s very kind of you.”
“Do you mind if I ask if you’re seeing anyone at the moment?”
“I don’t mind at all.”
“So are you?” she asked.
“Am I what?”
“Seeing anybody?”
“In a romantic sense?”
“Yes.”
“Why, do you have a crush on me?”
“Would you get away with yourself!” she said, bursting out laughing. “Sure amn’t I a Fianna Fáil TD and you’re just a librarian! Plus, I have a husband at home and three children who are training to be doctors, lawyers and PE teachers. Well, one of each, if you get my meaning.”
“I do,” I said.
“So are you?”
“Am I what?”
“Seeing anybody?”
“No,” I replied.
“I didn’t think so.”
“Any particular reason?”
“Any particular reason what?”
“Any particular reason why you didn’t think I would be seeing anyone?”
“Well, I never see you with anyone, do I?”
“No,” I said. “But there again, this is a workplace. I’m not likely to be bringing someone into the book stacks for a little afternoon delight, am I?”
“Would you get away, you,” she said, laughing as if I’d made the funniest joke ever. “You’re an awful man!”
“We’re all friends here,” I said.
“We are. Now listen to me, Cecil.”
“Cyril.”
“I’ll tell you why I’m asking. I have a sister. A lovely woman.”
“How could she not be?”
“Her husband was knocked down and killed by a bus a few years ago.”
“Right,” I said. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head quickly. “Don’t get me wrong. Not a regular CIé bus. A private bus.”
“Of course.”
“He was killed instantly.”
“The poor man.”
“Well, he’d always been complaining about his health and none of us ever took a bit of notice of him. It just goes to show, doesn’t it?”
“It does.”
“Anyway, after the funeral, we went to the Shelbourne.”
“I got married in the Shelbourne.”
“Let’s not talk about that. Your past is your own business.”
“I’m glad you’re not prying,” I said.
“So my sister is a widow and she’s on the lookout for a nice man. She can’t bear life on her own. She was in here to see me a couple of weeks ago and she caught sight of you in the library and she thought you were terribly handsome. She came over to me and Angela, she said, Angela, who’s that terribly handsome man over there?”
I gave her a skeptical look. “Really?” I said. “I don’t hear that very often these days. I’m fifty-six years old, you know. Are you sure she wasn’t talking about someone else?”
“Oh no, it was definitely you, because I looked over and I couldn’t believe she was talking about you either so I made her point you out. But it really was you.”
“I’m flattered,” I said.
“Don’t let it go to your head. My sister would be any man’s fancy. And I told her all about you and I think you’re a perfect match.”
“I’m not so sure,” I said.
“Cyril. Cecil. Cyril. Let me lay my cards on the table.”
“Go for it,” I said.
“When Peter died—that was my brother-in-law—he left my sister very well looked after. She has her own house in Blackrock and there’s no mortgage on it. And she has an apartment in Florence that she visits every few months and rents out the rest of the time.”
“Lucky her,” I said.
“And I know all about you.”
“What do you know?” I asked. “Because something tells me that you really don’t.”
“I know that you’re a multi-millionaire.”
“Ah,” I said.
“You’re Maude Avery’s son, aren’t you?”
“Adoptive son.”
“But you inherited all her estate? And her royalties.”
“I did,” I admitted. “I suppose that’s common knowledge.”
“So you’re rich. You don’t have to work. And yet you come in here every day and work anyway.”
“I do.”
“Do you mind if I ask why?”
“I don’t mind at all.”
“So why do you?” she asked.
“Because I enjoy it,” I said. “It gets me out of the house. I don’t want to sit at home, staring at the four walls every day, watching daytime television.”
“But that’s my point,” she said. “You’re a hard worker. You don’t need money. You certainly don’t need her money. That’s why I think you’d be a perfect match.”
“I’m not sure we would be,” I repeated.
“Now hold on, there’s a good man, don’t say another thing until you’ve seen her picture.” She reached into her handbag and took out a photo of a woman who looked just like her and I took to be her sister. I wondered whether they might even be twins, they looked that alike. “That’s Brenda,” she told me. “Isn’t she beautiful?”
“Stunning,” I agreed.
“So will I give you her number?”
“I don’t think so,” I said.
“Why not?” she asked, sitting back, preparing to be insulted. “Amn’t I after telling you that you’d be perfect for each other?”
“I’m sure your sister is very nice,” I said. “But to be honest with you, I’m not looking for a girlfriend at the moment. Or, in fact, at any moment.”
“Oh,” she said. “Are you still hung up on your ex-wife, is that it?”
“No,” I said. “Definitely not.”
“Your ex-wife has moved on to a different Cecil.”
“Cyril,” I said. “And I’m happy for her. We’re good friends, the three of us.”
“But you’re trying to win her back?”
“I’m really not.”
“So what is it then? You can’t be telling me that you don’t find Brenda attractive?”
“I don’t,” I said. “Sorry. She’s just not my type.”
At that moment, I heard a shout from one of the Fine Gael tables and looked over to see a small group of TDs who had previously been chatting over their cream buns and coffees, turning their heads to look at the television that hung on the wall in the corner of the tearoom. The sound was muted but I turned to look at it too and the more that people looked that way, the more the conversation in the room quieted down.