“Of course.”
I lightly touched my temple. “I have a terrible headache. I didn’t sleep well last night and then with everything today . . .” I sniffed again, attempting to look sad enough for him to feel bad, but not so sad that he felt we had to dissect my feelings.
“If you head down to the nurse, she’ll give you some Tylenol.”
“It’s just, her office is right by the cafeteria,” I said. “I don’t want to see a bunch of people when I’m like this.” I motioned to my face. “All of them wondering what’s wrong with me.” I rolled my eyes. “I know I’m being stupid.”
Mr. Lester slapped his thighs and stood. “I think you’re entitled to be a bit sensitive today. I’ll pop down and pick up some pain relievers for you. Until then, you relax here.”
“Thanks, Mr. L,” I said.
He smiled and waved his finger in my face, the cedar smell of his cologne filling my nose. “No problem. But don’t go telling everyone you got this rock star treatment, or people will think you’re my favorite.”
Great. Now I could add guilt on top of paranoia. I counted to sixty after he left. I stood and moved toward the filing cabinet. The top drawer was cracked open. My hand hovered over the handle, but I couldn’t seem to bring myself to grab it. I was certain as soon as I did Mr. Lester would suddenly return, remembering that he had a bottle of Tylenol in his desk. The only times I allowed myself to go into his cabinet before were when I knew he had a meeting or was out of the building. Doing it when he was just down the hall seemed reckless. I could perfectly picture his face if he caught me going through the student files. Betrayal. Disappointment. Suspicion of what else I might be capable of doing.
Do it.
Sweat poured down my back. My hand shot out and yanked the drawer open. It came out so fast that the entire cabinet tilted. I shoved my leg forward to keep it from falling over. My knee slammed into the metal side and pain radiated up into my thigh, throbbing in time with my heartbeat. I glanced quickly over my shoulder to make sure I was still alone. Then my fingers flew over the files, the order of the alphabet momentarily completely erased from my memory.
Finally, I spotted Lucy’s file and pulled it out. I flipped through pages of test scores and grades. My finger trailed down the individual sheets of paper as I looked for something to jump out at me.
Bingo.
Around the holidays, she and Paige had been brought in to talk to Lester because of a fight they had in the locker room. I knew I had remembered something from Paige’s file, but I’d never looked in Lucy’s. There were more details of the fight in hers. It said that it hadn’t been really violent: there had been screaming, some hair pulling, and Paige had pushed Lucy. Neither of them would say what the fight was about, but Lester had indicated he thought a boy was involved. Lester had written something about “competitive friendship” and “lack of communication skills.” I squinted to make out his handwriting. There was something that, despite Lucy’s past, he had no further concerns. What did that mean?
There was a note that Lester had followed up a week later and both of them had insisted they’d made up—?good as new. I had my doubts about that. Neither of them struck me as the type to forgive and forget. I flipped forward to the end of the file and saw there was a manila envelope from Lucy’s old school stuffed in the back. It was marked CONFIDENTIAL in a bright red stamp across the back flap, but it had been opened before. I pulled out the sheet inside and scanned it quickly.
Holy shit.
Lucy had been hiding a lot more than a hookup with her friend’s boyfriend. She hadn’t transferred here because our school had more AP classes; she’d been kicked out of her old school. I flipped the sheet over, looking for more information. All it said is that she was being expelled for “violence against another student and concerns for the emotional impact of Lucy remaining in the current toxic environment.”
There was a note scribbled on the bottom of the sheet in pencil noting “no criminal charges filed.”
My heart thudded in my chest. Did the police know about this? If there hadn’t been charges, it was possible her record was sealed. If Lucy had a history of violence, and she and Paige had it out over Ryan, who knew what she might be capable of doing.
There was a sound in the hall, so I stuffed the paper back in the file and slammed it shut. I’d answered one question and raised a whole bunch of new ones.
Thirty-Four
I needed to find out more about Lucy’s past, and there was no way Mr. Lester would tell me. I waited until fourth period, then lurked outside the gym waiting for Lindsey. She finally came out of the locker room, her fine blond hair still wet from the shower. Her eyes were red and puffy.
I stepped into her path. “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”
She stopped short and looked around. I’d checked her schedule before I left Lester’s office. This was the only class she had all day without any of her usual crowd in it.
Lindsey hefted her gym bag higher onto her shoulder. “What do you want?”
I motioned to the open classroom behind me. “It’ll just take a second.” When she didn’t move, I laid on the guilt. “I’m working with the police, and I need to ask you something about Paige. It’s important.”
She followed me into the empty chem lab. She put her bag down on one of the long tables and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’ve talked to the police three times. I don’t know anything.” Her lower lip shook.
There was a faint burnt-chemical smell in the air. Someone’s experiment had gone wrong last period.
“But you guys shared a lot of secrets. Stuff you didn’t even tell other people in your group.” I cocked my head to the side. “She was the only one who knew why you really dropped the debate team.”
The blood drained out of her face, turning her skin a pasty gray. “How do you know—” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not telling you anything. Maybe you’re working with the cops, or maybe you’re just trying to dig up dirt so you and your mom can spread it around in the press. She might be a story to all of you, but she was my best friend.”
“I don’t need you to share any of her secrets. I need to know someone else’s. Did she ever talk to you about Lucy and Ryan?” I held my breath, waiting for her to answer.
Lindsey’s eyes widened. “How do you know about that? Paige didn’t want anyone to hear that story.”
“That’s why they had the fight back around Christmas, isn’t it?”
“That and the fact that Lucy was basically this huge leech. She was always trying to outdo Paige. Whatever Paige was into, then Lucy had to do it too, only bigger and better. It was like she wanted to be Paige or something. It was weird. Then she went after Paige’s guy. Technically, Paige and Ryan were broken up at the time, but what kind of slut sleeps with a friend’s ex? It was like because Paige had him, she had to.”