She’d called herself a woman, surprised at how correct it felt.
“I love the way the vein in your forehead wiggles when you get all frustrated, Maddalena Pencott LaRosa.…”
She rolled him off her lap and started to stand. He grabbed her and wrestled her back to the ground.
“I love your stubbornness.…”
“You just won’t quit, huh?”
“I love your impatience. How you tear open a bag of chips not caring if it’s the right or wrong end.”
She stopped fighting him. He’d been watching her, studying her, seeing her. She felt as bright as the star at the top of White Eagle’s seven-foot-tall Christmas tree.
*
Back in the ballroom, her calf muscles still tingling from tensing them as Brooks made her come, she avoided Enzo’s stare. The where-the-fuck-have-you-two-been stare.
Vinny passed around the latest baggie of magic mushrooms he’d procured.
“Kids,” he shouted, “this is a public service announcement. These babies give you a wicked trip. So, go easy over there. Don’t be munching a handful.”
He was looking at Penny, who dipped her fingers into the baggie and popped one and then two ear-shaped pieces of mushroom into her mouth.
Maddie hurried over and gripped Penny’s arm, which was so frail she worried she’d hurt her.
“Penny,” she said. “Come with me to the bathroom?”
“Fuck off,” Penny said.
Maddie felt a few heads swivel in their direction. Bitsy, definitely Gabrielle, they had a nose for conflict and fed on other people’s problems like it was fine food.
She crouched next to the edge of the sofa, where Penny sat grimacing as she chewed the mushrooms.
“Ugh, these taste like shit,” Penny said. “And smell even worse.”
She stuck her fingers under Maddie’s nose and the stench of earthy decay made Maddie gag.
“What the fuck, Pen?”
“Just giving you a secondary high, buddy,” Penny said, winking.
“Come with me to the bathroom. Please.”
Her voice cracked and she knew she’d be in tears any minute. Maybe Penny would hear that and give in, and Maddie would lock the bathroom door and convince Penny to puke that shit up. If Penny refused, Maddie would stick her own finger down Penny’s throat. She wasn’t going to let her have another seizure. Not right after she’d finished another round of chemo.
She was about to remind Penny of the night of the fair, the hours they’d spent in the emergency room while Major Whittemore paced the fluorescent-lit linoleum and a tipsy Mrs. Whittemore had cried all over the IV tubes pumping saline into Penny’s veins. Penny leaned close so Maddie could smell the mix of the shrooms and the chemo meds. Penny smelled like floor cleaner after each treatment at the hospital.
Penny whispered, “I’m not going anywhere with you. You fucking betrayed me.”
A speck of Penny’s spit landed on Maddie’s cheek and she flinched. She rubbed until the skin burned, like it was poison.
She never should’ve told Penny about the plan for her to leave the island with Brooks. She heard her father’s voice in her head, Think before you speak, Maddalena, and it made her want to punch herself in the face.
Brooks stood in front of the turntables, spinning a record that was upbeat and fun (Vinny had requested a shroomy vibe). With the black light aglow and the Christmas lights on, he looked like an angel. She wanted to run back to White Eagle, pick up the suitcase she and Veronica had packed, grab Brooks, and leave. Forever.
First, she had to take care of Penny. She had decided she’d pay a visit to the Whittemore house and do what she swore she’d never do—rat on her best friend. She’d tell Penny’s mother everything. The drugs, the drinking. Not the sex, as far as she knew there wasn’t anything dangerous about mixing sex and chemo.
And she had to say goodbye to Dom. Sweet Dom. Promise she’d send for him as soon as she and Brooks got settled.
“Damn,” Ricky said. “She’s going to trip balls. That’s totally too much.”
“Pleeease,” Maddie said. “Come with me, Pen.”
“You need a chaperone to go to the bathroom?” Vanessa asked. “Maybe you can get a freakin’ hall pass.”
Gabrielle snickered. She was holding the baggie and popping piece after piece of dried mushroom between her glossy lips.
“What you mean, Ricky,” Bitsy said, “is Penster has got one huge set of balls.”
Penny smiled, glowing in the light of Bitsy’s approval.
“Bitsy,” Maddie said. “This is totally not a good idea.”
She was about to remind Bitsy about Penny’s seizure at the fair—screw anyone who was worried the truth might kill their buzz. Then Enzo spoke and when her older cousin (seven minutes older than Vinny) spoke, everyone listened.
“Just go with Maddie already so we don’t have to listen to her whine.” His dark eyes widened in a message that said do it.
Penny whirled to face her as soon as the door to the bathroom shut behind them with a click that echoed down the hallway. She realized—too late, Penny was already shouting—that the kids in the ballroom could hear everything.
“How could you do this to me?”
“Do what, Pen? I’m not doing anything to you.”
“You are. You’re leaving. You’re fucking leaving me.”
“Please,” Maddie said, “calm down.” What she wanted to say was Keep your voice down. Don’t let Vinny and Enzo hear. “I’m sorry, Pen. I really am. But I can’t stay here. My dad. I’m scared he’ll—”
Penny clutched the marble sink so her knuckles turned white.
“You okay? You don’t look so good. Sit down before you fall.”
“Don’t touch me!” Penny shouted.
Maddie started to tug the door open, “I’m calling your mom and telling her to come pick you up.”
Penny squeezed between Maddie and the door, pushed it closed hard and fast—almost crushing Maddie’s hand.
She wagged a finger in Maddie’s face. “You think your life is bad. I can make it even worse.”
There was a knock on the bathroom door. Brooks called through the thick wood, “You okay in there?”
“We’re good!” Penny yelled in a fake happy voice.
“Let me out, Penny. Please. You’re scaring me.”
“You threaten me?” she slurred. “I’ll tell everyone—your dad, your mom, the cops—that you’re running away. They don’t let rich little girls run away, you know.” A trickle of drool crept down her chin.
“Penny, you don’t mean that.”
“Oh, don’t I? I’ll tell Principal Haskell—I’ll tell every mom in the PTA—about how your dad slapped you. I was there! I saw it with my own eyes.”
Maddie wished she could leave. Let Penny choke on her own vomit. Crack her head open on the hard stone floor. But she couldn’t.
“Brooks! I need you in here.”
Penny splayed her body against the door, bumping it with her butt each time Brooks pushed from the other side. If it hadn’t been so sad, Maddie would’ve laughed.
Eventually, Ricky took Penny out, arms linked. She clung to Ricky, whispering, “I like you.”