“It’s all right,” Melissa said. “You’ll be fine.”
Emily eyed Samra darkly. The tutor stared back, silently daring Emily to say something that could—that would—be held against her. She could have volunteered, Emily thought, but even that would have been a risk. The secrets in Melissa’s mind would be much less damaging than the secrets in Samra’s mind, if Emily abused them. Emily had no doubt that Samra would try to kill her, if she tried to abuse what she learned, but a smart magician would know better than to assume success. It was better to limit the possible fallout than take a chance on being able to put the genie back in the bottle.
She met Melissa’s eyes, feeling another flash of respect. Melissa knew the dangers, knew how much could go wrong ... and she was going to do it anyway. She was going to strip naked in front of Emily—metaphorically, if not literally—and let Emily inspect her mind, knowing that far too many of her secrets might be revealed. Maybe she did owe Emily something, after everything. It was still one hell of a gutsy move.
“Thank you,” she said, quietly.
“You know how to touch your own mind now,” Samra said. “Focus on that sensation, then reach out and touch Melissa.”
Emily wondered, sourly, if they were going to mind-meld—then closed her eyes, focusing on her own mind. The sensation came easier now, without blinding headaches. Samra had been right to tell her that practice made it better, although she still disliked it. Her thoughts were hers, marked as hers ...
“Reach out and touch Melissa’s hand,” Samra ordered. “Or her forehead, if you like.”
Emily opened her eyes, trying to keep in touch with her thoughts. The sensation threatened to fade as she reached towards Melissa, as if she couldn’t keep her eyes open and feel herself think. She closed her eyes again as she touched Melissa’s hand, suddenly very aware of Melissa’s presence. Her thoughts beat against the air, thrumming so loudly that Emily was surprised she was the only person who could hear them. And yet, there was still a barrier between them. She could no more read Melissa’s thoughts than Melissa could read hers.
She shivered, realizing—to the very depths of her soul—just how dangerous soul magic could be. Truth spells and potions couldn’t force someone to bare themselves completely, but soul magic could. She knew she should push forward, she knew she should try to reach into Melissa’s mind, but she didn’t want to. The sense that she was doing something fundamentally wrong was growing stronger by the second.
“You’re not moving,” Samra said. “Glide into her thoughts.”
Emily swallowed several sharp responses and concentrated. Mental communication and combat was all about how one represented themselves, at least on the mental plane. She wasn’t bound by the normal limits, not when the encounter was in her mind. It was easy, suddenly, to imagine herself as a ghost, leaning forward and sliding into Melissa’s mind ...
... Her thoughts were suddenly very loud, a tangled web of words, feelings and factoids that battered against Emily’s mind. She pulled back hastily, gritting her teeth as a torrent of images lanced into her mind: Fulvia casting a spell, a grim-faced Caelian telling her that she’d have to get married, her own face wiped clean of everything save her eyes ... Markus, his eyes bright with lust as he walked towards her ...
Emily pulled back, hard. The memory had been so strong that she wasn’t sure it was Melissa’s, rather than hers. She’d never slept with Markus—she knew she’d never slept with Markus—and yet it was hard to escape the impression that she had. Melissa’s embarrassment boiled around her, the emotions driving other memories towards Emily’s mind. Markus and Melissa had clearly worked their way through every sexual position they knew and then invented some more.
“Concentrate,” Samra said. “I wish you to find a particular thought.”
Emily braced herself, then glided back into Melissa’s thoughts. Another torrent of images roared at her, each one carrying its own baggage. Fulvia staring down at a tiny Melissa, terrifying her; an older boy, screaming in pain ... Melissa waking up in pain, only to feel relief—even joy—when she discovered the blood on the sheets. A ceremony had followed, a welcoming into womanhood. Emily couldn’t help feeling a flicker of envy. Her first period had been a nightmare. She’d had to go to the school nurse for advice.
The roaring grew louder. Images blurred together; Alassa and Imaiqah, Jacqui and Cerise, Markus ... Emily fought to hold on to something—anything—but it was like being caught in a tidal wave. She couldn’t keep her thoughts together any longer ...
Something slapped her face, hard. Emily staggered, breaking contact. Her head swam, her body falling ... she caught herself, somehow, before she fell out of the chair. Melissa was suddenly gone, as if she’d never been there. Emily had to peer through suddenly sore eyes to make sure that Melissa was still alive. Her jaw ached, hard. She hadn’t felt so sore since someone had slapped her ...
Someone had slapped her.
“You lost yourself,” Samra said. “A few minutes more and you might have been lost forever.”
Emily touched her cheek. “You slapped me?”
“I had to get you back,” Samra said. She didn’t sound repentant. “Believe me, the alternatives were worse.”
“She slapped me too, once or twice,” Melissa said. She sounded tired. “I’m sorry you had to see everything.”
Emily cringed, mentally. She’d seen ... too much. Even now, even after being yanked out of Melissa’s mind, it was hard to escape the sense that it had been her who’d made love to Markus. Or had been hexed by Fulvia ... she shuddered, knowing she could no longer dislike Melissa. She’d been through her own particular brand of hell.
“I won’t tell anyone,” she said. She wondered just how much strength it must have taken for Melissa to sit there and let Emily ransack her mind. There hadn’t been any attempt to drive Emily out, let alone engage in mind-to-mind combat. Emily wasn’t sure she could have done it, even knowing that her secrets would go no further. “You have my word.”
“Markus and I are married,” Melissa said. “People do understand we’re not playing with wands.”
Emily nodded. She didn’t know what the saying meant—something akin to playing doctor, she assumed—but she understood. And yet, she’d learnt far more about Markus and Melissa’s sex life than she’d ever wanted to learn. Everyone would know they were sleeping together, but ... but they wouldn’t know the details. And they didn’t need to know the details.
“You’ll have to do it again,” Samra said. “You didn’t manage to even start looking for that particular thought.”
Emily gave her a sharp look. “You could have told me what thought.”
Samra smiled, mischievously. “And you didn’t think of trying to extract it from Melissa’s mind?”