I didn’t believe them.
“Let’s talk alibis.” Ana adjusted her sunglasses. “Where did you go last night?”
“In circles, basically,” Jed said. “Dad kept asking Cam how he felt about being gay.”
“Yeah,” Cam said, “and I was like, ‘Dad, I don’t know. It feels the same as being straight, probably.’?”
“And he wanted to know when Cam figured it out,” Jed said, “and all this other stuff.”
“I know Dad loves me though,” Cam said.
“Because he said that like nine hundred times, too,” Jed said.
“Freaking Dad.” Cam sighed.
“Dad was a hot mess last night,” Jed said.
“Oh, and he thought he saw some chick he knew named Brenda, and he was all, ‘Brendaaaa!’ out the window, and he made me pull over, and—”
“—and the chick was like, ‘Um, sir, I’m not Brenda,’?” Cam finished.
“That part was actually kind of funny,” Jed said.
“Totally,” Cam agreed.
“The chick was like, ‘My name is not Brenda, sir,’?” Jed said, and laughed.
I tried to say it with curiosity. “Who’s Brenda?”
“Who knows,” Jed said.
I tried to breathe. “What did this not Brenda woman look like?”
“Um,” Jed said, “like a woman?”
“She was wearing a tube top and some shorts,” Cam said. “And walking down Ali’i with her friend.”
“And she had blue eyes and blond hair,” Jed said.
“Oooooooh.” Ana hit my arm. “Was she walking toward her red car, by chance?”
“I don’t know,” Cam said.
“Did your father say anything else about this Brenda person?”
“No,” Jed said.
“No,” Cam repeated.
“Interesting.” Ana nodded.
And then Jed, who was so na?ve, asked, “Why do you care so much, Mom?”
And Cam, who was just as na?ve, said, “Yeah, Mom, who cares?”
So I told myself to drop it for now. It was a good thing the boys didn’t see this Brenda person as a threat. It meant that they were still wholesome. We hadn’t ruined them completely. And maybe their not getting it wasn’t that surprising either, since we’d never told them about Shelly.
I tried to focus on the rushing wind. On the fields of lava. On the salt air. On the sky. And then there was Ana’s voice. “Brendaaaaaa.” And I felt like I was losing my mind again.
A whole minute might have passed. I was trying to imagine it. The boys and Chuck in the car and Chuck yelling “Brenda!” at this woman—ugh—and then them driving in circles and then—and then what?
“How long did you drive in circles?”
“And where did you go?” Ana asked. “Were you near the high school?”
“No,” Jed said. “We went to Magic’s, then to town, then back to Magic’s, then Dad wanted Denny’s.”
“But he was passed out by the time we got to Denny’s,” Cam said, “so we came home.”
“You didn’t stop to light a li’l old fire on the way home?” Ana pretended to light a lighter.
“No,” Jed said.
Cam didn’t answer.
I knew that was exactly what they’d done. And to think of Chuck passed out in the car while they did it—that was a bold move. In a way I knew was wrong, I was almost proud of them. At least they were expressing anger without hurting other people. Except for, I guess, the taxpayers who would have to pay for the damages.
“Hey,” Ana said, “how’s Liko doing? Did you guys see him this morning? Is he wearing a Band-Aid on his face?”
“Wait,” Cam said.
“Did you punch Liko?” Jed asked.
“He told everyone he got jumped by an ice dealer,” Cam said.
“Your mother is the one who punched Liko, boys.” Ana patted the top of my head.
“No way,” Jed said.
“Way,” Ana told him.
“Dude, Mom, you rock!” Jed said.
“Yeah. Whoa. Go, Mom,” Cam said.
“But he’s doing okay?” I asked.
“He’s totally fine,” Jed said.
“Yeah, Mom, he’s totally fine,” Cam said.
“Mom punched Liko!” Jed clapped his hands a few times. “Dude!”
“You’re a badass, Mom,” Cam said.
I might have been trying not to smile. Ana turned up the road toward the high school. “I want to see where the fire happened. I love ashes.”
“Do we have to go back to school today?” Jed asked.
“Cam?” I turned to face him. “Are you going to be okay here today?”
Before he could respond, Ana said, “Here, Cam, take this,” and opened the center console. “Nan, will you pass him the Swiss army knife?”
There was no Swiss army knife, but there was another knife, a gold one. “You mean this?”
“Yeah, give it to Cam.”
“This is a weapon.”
Ana took it from me and passed it to Cam. “Cam, if anyone corners you in a bathroom, you cut them up.” She laughed. “But I’m serious.”
Cam hesitated before taking it. “I’m probably not going to use this.”
“No, you are absolutely not going to use that,” I said. “Give it back to me right this second.”
“Here,” Cam said, and gave it back.
“Damn, Mom, you’re a boss lately,” Jed said.
“Cam,” Ana said, “if anyone corners you, you sock them in the trachea, you hear me?”
“No,” I said. “If anything happens, you go to the principal. And you call me. Do not sock anyone.”
“Yeah, call Mom.” Ana slapped the wheel. “She’ll show up and sock them for you.”
I rubbed my eyes. “No more violence. I’m serious.”
And then—“Here!”—Ana was pulling over.
Yes, here were the remnants. A patch of charred earth, ashes in the shape of the wooden slab it used to be.
“This wasn’t a fire-fire,” Ana said. “This was a little cookout fire. I can’t believe they brought you in for questioning over this.”
“What did the sign used to say?” I asked.
“Something about excellence,” Cam said.
“Ha!” Ana hit my arm. “Come on, Nan, that’s funny.”
I didn’t respond. I wanted to go back to sleep.
We drove up to the main entrance, where Ana turned to face the boys. “Gentlemen, I have something to say.” A pause. She was waiting until she had their full attention. “Don’t waste your time being upset. If dying has taught me anything—and this is my second time dying, by the way—it’s to enjoy the ride. You go into this school and you own it today. Don’t let anyone mistreat you. You be you and you be proud. And get good grades. You hear me?”
“Totally,” Jed said.
“Yes.” Cam was laughing.
“And fuck high school!” Ana shouted, her arms up in the air, her fingers spread far apart. “That’s it, boys, kill ’em today.”
They jumped out the sides of the car and walked through the entrance, their heads barely hanging.
?
Ana took me to lunch at the Four Seasons because she wanted to die with her bank account at zero or less. We sat outside. The horizon, how it stretched. The sky, so blue and clear. Soft breeze and the water was calm. We ordered poke and shrimp cocktail and strawberry mango smoothies. “Kama’aina discount,” Ana told the waitress.
“No problem,” the waitress said, relaxing a little now that she knew we were local. “You ladies don’t live in Pahoa, do you?”
“No,” Ana said.