It’s our song, once again. Only this time, I can’t let the sound of him slip away. I follow its echo blindly, all thoughts of Chace’s parents and Lana’s cold mother slipping from my mind.
“However long I stay, I will always love you.”
I whisper the lyrics like an incantation as I chase the sound that seems to be one step ahead of me. I wind my way through corridors and run down the stairs, following the whistling until I’m throwing open the doors of the dorm wing and standing outside in the quad, shivering underneath the night sky.
At first, all I see is the ordinary Oyster Bay landscape of Gothic campus buildings and vast lawns, darkened by night’s paintbrush. But then the whistling starts up again—and a figure floats past me, his feet skimming just above the ground.
“Chace!” I try to scream. But no sound comes out. In my shock, I’m only capable of mouthing his name.
I whip around wildly, my eyes searching for him—or whatever it was I saw. And then I glimpse a luminescent shadow standing on the front steps of Joyce Hall. I watch, my whole body prickling in astonishment, as the shadow fills with color, forming the image of the boy I loved. The boy I love.
It takes my body a few moments to recover and remember how to move. But when it does, I run faster than I ever have before, sprinting toward him even as my hateful mind taunts me, telling me I’m imagining things, that of course this can’t be real.
“Chace.”
This time, I manage to speak. I’m standing before him now, separated by only two steps, waiting for him to turn around. And then he does, and I sink to my knees.
I must be dreaming, but I don’t care. All I know is that I’m looking up into those blue-gray eyes, which are alight with emotion as they gaze down at me. His mouth opens to speak, and I reach out my hand to touch his cheek. He immediately shakes his head, sadness darkening his features. I draw my hand back, somehow understanding that I can’t touch him anymore.
“I shouldn’t be here,” he says. His voice sounds different, muffled, as though he’s already far away. “I should go, but I can’t—I can’t leave you. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice.”
“Come back,” I plead, my throat thick with tears. “Please. Don’t leave me again.”
“Even letting you see me is breaking the rules,” he whispers. “But I had to.”
“I don’t understand any of this.” My voice breaks and I move closer, until there’s only a sliver of charged space between us. “What happened to you, Chace? How did this happen?”
He looks away, turning his face up to the moon.
“Do you remember how we—we fell in love?”
“Of course I do. I remember every detail.”
“The answer is in those days.” He turns back to meet my gaze, jarring me with his determined expression. “I’m trying to remember the last moments before everything went black, but that’s all that keeps coming to me. You and me. Last spring. The answer is there.”
My insides turn cold.
“What? Do you mean it’s my fault that you’re…?”
“No, I mean something happened when we were together that we need to remember.” He closes his eyes, as if in pain. “It’s just so hard for me to remember things now.”
I ache to wrap my arms around him, but I’m afraid to. Afraid my hands will brush against emptiness instead of flesh and bone, proving that this is nothing more than a vision.
“Was it—was it Lana?” I ask. It seems crazy, but her mother’s words are still ringing in my ears. If she was worried about her own daughter, then maybe there’s something to it.
“I don’t think so,” Chace says. “Lana might be responsible for a lot, but she’s not a killer.”
I release the breath I’ve been holding. I didn’t want to believe it, either. But then…who?
Suddenly, Chace’s skin takes on an otherworldly glow. He stares at his palms, panicked.
“I have to go.”
“No, wait!” I beg. “Chace, they—they’re trying to make it seem like I did it. Please don’t leave me.”
But his image is already fading in front of me.
“If anyone can uncover the truth, it’s you. Remember the days of you and me. The answer is there, I can feel it.”
And with that, he vanishes before my eyes, leaving me to wonder, through tears, if I imagined the whole thing.
OCTOBER 26, 2016
My new life of security guards and lawyers begins the next morning, with my mother showing up at my door. I’ve never been so relieved to see her, and as I fling myself into her arms, I don’t even notice the strangers.
“Oh, sweetie,” she murmurs, smoothing back my unkempt hair and taking in my appearance. My pale skin and undereye circles from lack of sleep only enhance my scar, making me look even more frightening than usual. If Mrs. Rivera and the police are trying to turn me into the villain, I certainly look the part.
“What are you doing here?” I ask my mom, pulling her through the doorway. “I didn’t know you were coming—”