“Don’t,” I said sharply, shaking my head. “We have no idea how you being with us would’ve changed things, and it’s pointless to dwell on it. What happened,” my voice caught, my mouth suddenly dry, “happened.”
Solomon’s expression did not lighten, but he nodded sadly. “I know. I was just supposed to do something useful.”
“You did,” Amber replied. “You were a part of getting Alyssa to help us. You kept her safe. That was important.”
He hesitated, and then sighed. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. Is it all right if I join you?”
Amber and I both nodded, and Solomon dragged an empty chair over to the now-crowded little table, Henrik following suit. He moved slowly, almost plodding, still favoring his injured side.
My fear and anguish for him must have shown on my face, because he picked up a fork and said, “Violet, you don’t have to worry about me. I know the score. I made my peace with it.”
“Just like that?” I asked, unable to stop myself, and he speared me with an angry look.
“No, not just like that,” he said bitterly. “But I’m an old man, Violet. And I’m tired. There’s been so much hatred, so much death… I just don’t have room for any more. Losing Melissa broke my heart. Is breaking my heart. Yet in spite of that, I can’t go on feeling angry for something she wouldn’t care about anyway. I don’t have the time left to waste on it, and I suggest you don’t waste any time on it either.”
“I’m sorry, Henrik,” I replied, contrite. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just… I wanted to know if there’s a trick to it.”
Henrik sighed and reached over to touch my hand.
“No, I’m sorry, Violet. I’m still a bit… raw.” He withdrew his hand to run it over his face, tugging on the edges of his beard. Leaning back in his chair, he looked at us. “I also wanted to let you all know that I’m staying here. I asked, and Morgan is allowing me to take over training in Ms. Dale’s old studio.”
“But why?” I asked, shocked by his revelation.
Henrik gave me a kind smile. “I’ve been told it hasn’t been changed, and I don’t want to change it. I want to spend the rest of my life doing what she did before all of this, if only so I can feel closer to her. They’re even letting me take over her apartment. Her things were boxed up after her defection, but Morgan is letting me have them. I know it sounds strange, especially since I’ve been working so hard to change Patrus in the past few days, but… I’m so tired of it all, and it’s time for me to let you kids take the reins for a bit. This is how I want to spend my remaining time on earth.”
My heart twisted, and I offered him a shaky smile. “I understand, but… we’ll miss you, Henrik.”
“I’m not going either,” Owen blurted, and I looked at him, my eyes going wide. He fidgeted, looking down, and, even in the midst of all this sadness and worry, I wondered if I could see a bit of pink tingeing his cheeks.
“I’m sorry, but I need to make a fresh start. I really feel like I could do some good over here—maybe even start training to be a Matrian diplomat and change some of the antiquated laws regarding males. Besides, Morgan hasn’t been here for a while. I figure she could use a friendly face. And with Thomas…”
He trailed off, and we all fell silent, and I felt a pang of guilt. I’d been so wrapped up in the injustice of what happened with Ms. Dale that I had… Well, it wasn’t that I had forgotten him, but I had prioritized her, and I was fairly certain that made me an awful person.
“Owen—God, I’m sorry,” I said, and he gave me an incredulous look.
“Why?”
“Because! I spent all this time dwelling on Ms. Dale and how unjust it was, that… well… we didn’t talk about Thomas like we did Ms. Dale.”
“Thomas would’ve found that sort of thing in poor taste,” Amber announced, picking at her food again. “We talked about it once—I can’t for the life of me remember how we even got there—and he said it was the worst part of funerals. Everyone crying about who they lost and why they were important… It just wasn’t Thomas’ way.”
“Doesn’t mean I’m not going to miss him,” Viggo said softly, and I looked over at him. He met my gaze, his eyes still red and filled with grief. “He saved all of our lives, and gave us every opportunity to put an end to all this madness.”
“Him and those damned odds,” Henrik said, tugging at his beard. “He and Melissa both… They just wanted to keep everyone safe, no matter what the odds. When they put their minds together…” He looked up, his eyes bright with unshed tears. “They were impossible to argue with.”
“Thomas was my best friend,” Owen added. “I could never understand why, but I… I loved him. And God, I miss him.”
“We all do,” I whispered. “Even me. I know he and I didn’t get off on the right foot, but…”
“He respected you a lot, Violet,” Owen interjected with a sniffle. “He might not have always shown it, but… We all know how he felt about emotional displays.”
We all chuckled, but it was a somber, short laugh, because it came coupled with the knowledge that we were never going to see Thomas again, never hear him quip about the flaws in our plans or the problems with emotional decision-making.
I exhaled sharply and leaned against Viggo, needing to touch him, to feel comforted. He leaned back into me, and we supported each other.
“Besides,” Owen added after a long moment, a gentle smile coming across his lips, “I feel like Thomas wouldn’t want us to dwell on the past. He’d instead want to bring up the future of Patrus, and want to know what the new chancellor has planned.”
“Oh God,” Viggo groaned, placing his face in his hands. “Why did you have to remind me?”
“I’m so sorry, Viggo,” I breathed, appalled that my grief last night had eclipsed that turn of events, but he shook his head at me. “Have you thought about it at all?”
“I did. Last night. I’m just… I’m still not sure what to think about it. I don’t think it’s right that you can get elected when you’re not even there.”
“I think it’s great,” Amber said casually, taking a sip from her mug. “I mean, I would’ve much preferred Mags, but seeing as we can’t break Patrus from its patriarchy too soon… you’re my second favorite.”
Viggo smiled at her. “Does that mean you’re coming back with us?”
“Of course! I’m not missing my opportunity to get in on the ground floor of a brand new government! I’m aiming for Spy Master.”
“You can’t just declare that loudly in front of half a dozen witnesses,” Logan laughed. “It kind of defeats the purpose.”
“Yeah, yeah. So what do you say, Viggo?” she asked, leaning forward on her elbows and giving him a wide smile.
“I’ll have to think about it,” he replied, and I felt a smile bloom on my lips—a real one. It was a moment of normalcy in the wake of turbulence, and I embraced it. Soon we’d be back in Patrus, ready to roll up our sleeves and put the country back together brick by brick. And with a little luck and a lot of love, we’d build something new and improved, ready to stand the test of time.
It was all we could do.
44
Epilogue: Violet
One Year Later
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