A muffled grunt blows into my hair.
“I mean, look at you,” I say, even though we’re still clutching each other and I can’t see anything. But my memory is just fine. I think of his solemn eyes and that mouth of his, that soft, wide, pouty mouth. “I’m in serious danger of having a young Marlon Brando Street-Car-Named-Desire moment here. I kind of want you to tear at your shirt and shout ‘Stella!’ Or I guess it should be ‘Fiona!””
Ethan snorts, but it sounds like he’s trying not to laugh. Still, tension vibrates along his strong body, and I know he remains upset.
When he finally answers, his voice is raw. “Rather hear you shout my name, Cherry.”
“So make me.”
He doesn’t move, only grows stiffer.
“Ethan, I loved your beard, but I love you more.”
He blinks down at me, then he swallows hard as if trying to clear his throat. “I love you too, Cherry.” He presses his forehead to mine. “Feels like I’ve loved you forever. I thought you knew that.”
There’s an accusation in his voice—soft but there all the same.
“I do, Ethan. You’ve been so good to me.”
His grip flexes on my hips. “Then why did you do it? Why did you take the money?”
Surprise freezes me to the spot. He stares down at me, no longer soft but completely hard, stark devastation and cold anger in his eyes.
Chapter Forty-Five
Fiona
Ethan has never looked at me in anger. It’s a horrible thing to see it now. “I can explain,” I say.
He scoffs. “Just the words a guy wants to hear after he’s been metaphorically kicked in the teeth by his woman.”
My breath pushes out in an anxious rush. “I’m not going to London.”
Not the best opener. Based on the sidelong look he gives me, Ethan clearly thinks so too.
“Okay. And that has to do with taking Bloom’s fuck-money how?”
Wincing, I try to touch his chest, but he backs away, shoving his hands deep in his pockets as he goes. The fact that he no longer wants to touch me, that he’s putting physical distance between us, has my insides tumbling.
“I realized that going to London was just me running away—”
“No shit,” he cuts in, his voice flat, his gaze blazing with tamped anger. But it’s slowly starting to simmer. He looks so different without his beard, his head shaved close to his skull. His features are stern and unforgiving.
I clutch my skirt with cold fingers. “Right, so…thing is, I didn’t want to run any more. I demanded the money from Bloom because I knew that would end it.”
Another ugly snort leaves him, and he shakes his head. “Well, it certainly does end things—”
“No, Ethan,” I say, stepping forward. “Not like that. I’m giving the money to your charity. All one million. Ivy and I had a press conference. I said I was donating it on your behalf, because Bloom getting sleazy PR by exploiting your personal life should come to some good.”
He stills, his eyes narrowing. “You gave it to charity?”
“Of course. Did you really think I’d claim that disgusting prize for myself?” I swallow hard, trying not to be offended at the idea. I ought to have warned him.
Ethan’s shoulders bunch with tension. “No. But I didn’t know what to think, Fiona. I had some fucking linebacker laughing in my face, telling me my girl went for the money.”
“Baby…I’m so sorry.” I take a step forward.
But he backs away, his face closed off. Regret punches through me.
“Do you have any idea what it did to me,” he grinds out. “To hear it from someone else? Because, let me tell you, not a single fucking person on that field knew about you giving the money to charity. They looked at me like I was a massive dupe, a fucking joke.”